Helping Your Adult Child Navigate Shark Infested Waters! by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

 Recently while traveling by airplane, I saw a fascinating documentary adventure from 2022 called Kekoa. It was 29 minutes and it was about two brothers growing up in rural Vermont building tree houses and other things. 

When Jamison Witbeck graduated with his undergraduate degree in psychology, he did not want to continue to grad school. 

 

His Mom said, “You have your degree and you are free of debt. Why don’t you do what you want to for a little bit.”.

 

Jamison said, “I want to build a wooden boat.” 

 

In the mid-1990s, Jamison moved to Charleston "to learn how to build wooden boats under the tutelage of local master builder Mark Bayne. Ryan, who was majoring in adventure education at Prescott College in Arizona, joined him. Together, they had a defining experience that changed their lives."

 

They worked for minimum wage and learned the craft. The two brothers who had not been close in years, found that their connection and bond grew over time while pursuing a common goal of building the boat. They worked together to build their own catamaran, and rescued it several times from hurricanes and storms. 

Once built, they began a successful charter business. 

 

They built the boat the Allura in 1999 and “later built a sailing business.” 

 

The power of mending:

This is a story that communicates how working shoulder to shoulder with someone can help them mend fences. 

 

Socratic Method and Deductive Reasoning Lessons & Negotiating

When our oldest child was in elementary school, he was bullied and bruised. 

(The elementary school teacher and principal did not care.) After there was no resolution to the bullying, my husband and I decided to purchase a home in a different city where several of my violin students happily attended the local public schools which were known for good academic programs. 

 

My husband and I found a lovely old house on the water being offered for sale by owner. We made an appointment to see the home. 

 

Even though I had built several new homes, rehabbed many old homes, and buildings, I asked for help from the best expert I knew. I called my Mom, a lawyer who specialized in real estate and family law. She asked me a series of questions which I wrote down so I could find out the information and let me arrive at the answers on my own. By doing this, it not only helped us purchase this home, but we’ve used this formula with many other transactions and have taught it to our children.

 

 

Momma’s questions:

 1)   What is the payoff for the home and how many mortgages do they have? At the time, we had to visit the courthouse to gather this information. Fortunately, this information is readily available with a few clicks of a mouse if you know where to look. 

 2)   Make another appointment to visit the house, and create a list of repairs needed. How much will it cost to have the work done by a reputable contractor bonded, licensed, and insured? 

I found out they had two loans on the house and how much they owed on the two loans. After visiting the house, a second time I wrote down the list of repairs the house would immediately need. The house needed a new roof, new electrical panel and wiring. Four columns in front of the house were rotted and held up by a prayer. The bulkhead and pier at the inlet at the river behind their house needed replacing.

 

Momma then asked: 

 

 3)   How much do they want for the house? 

 

Momma said, “Deduct from the amount the seller wants for their house, the repairs you will have to make on the house if you were to buy it. The amount you have left is what you should offer them for their house.

 

We offered that amount and the sellers countered back, asking for another $10,000. 

 

4)   Momma said, “offer them half that amount.” We offered them $5,000. They accepted our offer. We arranged for a mortgage at the bank for 15 years with a locked in fixed rate mortgage at 7 1/2 %.

 

My Mom used the Socratic Method of asking questions to help us clearly define and solve our problem. What did we learn from Mom’s questions? (Socratic Method., Deductive Reasoning.) 

 

We learned a logical progression, step by step analysis. We were guided by her questions to work out the problem logically, step by step, through her questions to seek the right information to make a good decision.

 

Asking the right questions will help you make the right decision developing a formula to tackle nearly any problem.  

 

 You can use the Socratic Method and Deductive Reasoning with your adult children the same way.

 

How to help your adult child to think and solve their own problems.

 1)   Listen carefully to what your adult child says without interrupting or judging them. It is easy to jump into “lecture mode” and tell them what they need to do…fight that urge at all costs! 

 

 2)   When they finish speaking, communicate a summary of what you think their challenges are so that you can best guide them to positive options. 

 

 3)    Ask questions, the Socratic Method or use Deductive Reasoning.

Merriam-Webster definition of the Socratic Method: “the method of inquiry and instruction employed by Socrates…consisting of a series of questioning the object of which is to elicit a clear and consistent expression of something supposed to be implicitly known by all rational beings.”

 

In plain English: ask pointed questions and ask them what they feel they should do. 

 

Socrates, the Greek philosopher, asked his students questions. “He believed that students already have deep knowledge within themselves, and that intensive questioning can reveal it. It's used to foster critical thinking by encouraging students to question their own unexamined beliefs.” 

 

4)  By empowering your adult child to find a solution and hold them accountable, they are given the gift of taking pride in what they helped to create.

 

 Helping them to think clearly to focus on solving their own problems using deductive reasoning, fostering critical thinking. The Socratic Method. 

 

5)   Respect their boundaries. If they come up with solutions that you wouldn’t have come up with, it does not mean that they are wrong…most decision making muscle is built by getting creative and learning the natural consequences of wrong decisions. 

 

 6)  Be patient and use supportive language. Encourage them to solve their own problems, offering your help when needed. Open communication is vital.

 

It is about helping your adult child navigate shark infested waters using the Socratic Method, deductive reasoning to foster critical thinking.

 

 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an  amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, John Maxwell Team Member, concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Business". Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available everywhere books are sold. 

 

 

“BUDGETING YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS” BY MADELINE FRANK, PH.D

Forbes magazine said, “78% of workers live paycheck to paycheck”.

Several of my university students have told me “their finances are a mess and their mortgage loans on their cars and houses are too high. They felt overwhelmed by their finances.”   I shared with them my Momma’s wisdom of budgeting and banking for their success.

You have overdrawn your bank account for the third time. Your rent check has bounced, your power bill check has bounced, your monthly insurance payment has bounced and your car has just broken down. Your bank has charged a transaction fee of $35 per bounced check. This is the fastest way to double what you actually owe by adding all of these extra charges. 

My Momma, Romayne Leader Frank, a lawyer and counselor, taught her clients and me how to budget our money. During my high school years Momma taught me to make a budget of my expenses, to keep a ledger of the money going into the bank and the money to be paid out for expenses. She also taught me to put my entire paycheck, after taxes were deducted from the pay check, in the bank. Then I would pay all my bills and take out only the necessary amount for food and necessities. The remaining money went into my savings account. As a college student in New York City, I always had a job to help me pay for tuition, apartment rent, utilities, and food. 

So, let’s get started and think this out together. You want everything in your budget. Whether it’s your personal or business finances, you have to have a plan in place for your success and you need to learn to budget your money.

What are the eight questions you need to answer to build your budget?

1.  Are you withholding enough money from your wages to pay for taxes?  

2.   How much money do you earn each month after taxes?   

3.   How much is your rent or mortgage payment each month?   

4.  How much is your power bill, gas bill, water bill, sewer bill, telephone, cell phone and  insurance for your apt/house, self and for the car each month? 

5.  How much does it cost to put gas in the car each week to go from home to work and then return home? Multiply the total amount by 4. 

6.  How much does it cost in groceries each week? Multiply the total amount by 4.   

7. How much will it cost for entertainment and new clothes per week? Multiply the total amount by 4.                                                                        

8.  Are you budgeting for unforeseen consequences such as family emergencies, loses not covered by insurance, emergency travel and other events? Include an amount per week and multiply by 4.

All your expenses need to be included in your budget. Once you have written down your total amounts for your bills/expenses per month you subtract them from your monthly pay check that you will be receiving after taxes. The amount that is left is the beginning of your rainy-day fund to invest for your future to eventually buy a car or a house.

The concept is to spend only what you have and to stay on budget. You cannot buy frivolous things that you do not need and cannot afford. You have to stay within your budget.

By having your budget in place, you will know exactly how much money you have left over every month to begin saving for your future.

Remember you cannot spend what you do not have.

By following these steps and learning how to budget your money, you will be budgeting your way to success. (C) 2024, 2019 Madeline Frank

This is the fourth article of my series on teaching you, to take hold of your finances. 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an  amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, John Maxwell Team Member, concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Business". Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available everywhere books are sold. 

PENNIES TODAY EQUALS PROSPERITY TOMORROW by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

Developing the discipline of saving and investing is paying yourself first.

 

My friend Stewart taught his teenage daughter to save 40 cents out of each $1 she earned, beginning with her first job. She continued to do this through high school, college, and with her jobs as an adult. She now is the proud owner of two condos. Learn to save your money for your future car, house, condo, or other necessity and teach your family and friends to do this too.

 

My Momma, Romayne Leader Frank, taught me in high school to make a budget of my expenses, to keep a ledger of the money going into the bank and the money to be paid out for expenses. She also taught me to put my entire pay check in the bank, to pay all my bills, and to take out only the necessary amount for food and spending money. The remaining money went into my savings account. As a college student, I always had a job to help me pay my tuition, my apartment rent, utilities, and food.

 

 So, start today to save your pennies and begin your prosperity for tomorrow. (C)2024, 2019 Madeline Frank

 

This article is the third of four articles on teaching you, to take hold of your finances.

 

 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, John Maxwell Team Member, conductor, and concert artist. She helps businesses and organizations “Tune Up their Business”. Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book “Leadership On A Shoestring Budget” is available everywhere books are sold. If you need a speaker or video speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com

Curb Your Spending Habits & Save for Your Emergencies by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

Your car just broke down and you don’t have the money to repair it! Don’t you wish you had an emergency fund to pay for it?

 

What's your first step?

 

Gabby and Jay are going to tell us how they did it! 

For one-week Gabby and Jay tracked every receipt and purchase they made including the ones for their computers. They kept all their receipts and expenses and wrote them down in a note book. They included every purchase they made even small purchases for sodas, snacks, lunches, dinners, breakfasts, groceries, going to the movies, purchasing snacks, gas for their cars, cigarettes, and any other items they purchased that week. Jay and Gabby also wrote down their weekly spending for pay pal accounts, group on offers, credit cards, game accounts and iTunes accounts on their computers.

 

Gabby saved all her receipts for one week and totaled all her receipts. She looked at her first couple of receipts and realized she had gone to Starbucks with her friends 5 times that week spending $4 a day for Coffee, a total of $20 for the week. She decided to go to Starbucks with her friends three times the next week, and invites her friends to share coffee at her house two days a week, and puts the $8 she saved into her Piggy Bank to start her $1000 Emergency Fund. In a months' time Gabby realizes she will save $32 and in 6 months she will save $192 towards her $1000 Emergency Nest Egg Fund.

 

Gabby continues looking at her receipts and realizes she bought 3 packs of cigarettes a week at $5.50 a package, $16.50 a week. Gabby says, "I spent $66 a month on cigarettes. If I cut down my smoking to a pack a week I can put $11 into my "Piggy Bank" for my Emergency Fund each week and in a month's time I will have saved a total of $44 in my "Piggy Bank" toward my $1000 Emergency Nest Egg Fund. In 6 months I will have saved $264 toward my $1000 Emergency Nest Egg Fund."

 

Gabby says, "If I continue to go through my receipts and eliminate the items I don't need or cut down other expenses I will have my Emergency Fund in place in less than 6 months. By cutting back on Cigarettes and coffee I've already saved $76 this month. I will go through my receipts and look at what else I can eliminate or cut down on. My goal is to have my Emergency Fund in place in 6 months. I am determined to do it!"

 

Jay has saved all his receipts for one week and totaled all his receipts. He looks at his first set of receipts and realizes he has 5 days of lunches at $8 a lunch for five days and he's spent $40 on lunches this week. He says, "If I bring a bag lunch to work three days a week, I can save $24 to put in my "Tin Can" to start my $1000 Emergency Nest Egg Fund. In a month's time I will have saved $96." Jay then goes to his computer receipts and realizes he's spend $45 a week on his computer for his PayPal accounts, Groupon offers, credit cards, game accounts and his iTunes account. He says, "Do I really need these accounts, are they going to help me get my Emergency Fund up and running? These purchases are bleeding away my hard earned money. I'm going to close these accounts. That way I can put $180 a month into my "Tin Can" to save for my $1000 Emergency Fund. I will go through my receipts and look at what else I can eliminate or cut down on. My goal is to have my Emergency Fund in place in 6 months. I know I can do it!"

 

So, what are the three steps for you to save for your $1000 Emergency just like Jay and Gabby?

Track your spending for one week. Keep all your receipts and expenses for the week, writing them down in a note book, and at the end of the week add them together to get your total expenses for the week. Include every purchase you make even small purchases for sodas, snacks, lunches, dinners, breakfasts, groceries, going to the movies, purchasing snacks, gas for your car, cigarettes, and any other items you purchased that week. Also list your weekly spending for pay pal accounts, group on offers, credit cards, game accounts and iTunes accounts on your computer.

2. Evaluate each of your receipts, just like Gabby and Jay did, and decide if it is a needed expense or not and start putting your saved money into your Emergency Fund "Piggy Bank or Tin Bank".

3) Look at your computer receipts like Jay did and decide if your weekly pay pal accounts, group on offers, credit cards, game accounts, and iTunes accounts on your computer can be eliminated or cut back. 

Jay turned off his pay pal account, his Groupon offers, his game accounts, his iTunes account and stopped spending his credit card money on things he didn't need. 

Jay said, "These purchases are bleeding away my hard-earned money."

 

By following these three steps and being determined and disciplined to do it, you will be like Gabby and Jay, able to set up your $1000 Emergency Fund.

You can also save on gas for your car each week by being aware of which gas station has a special day for saving 5 cents for each gallon you purchase. In our City it's every Thursday. What day is it in your City or town? Every penny you save can go into your $1000 Emergency Nest Egg Fund. The sooner you start the sooner you will have your $1000 Emergency Fund in place. 

This article is the second of four articles on teaching you, to take hold of your finances. ©2024, 2019 Madeline Frank

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, John Maxwell Team Member, conductor, and concert artist. She helps businesses and organizations “Tune Up their Business”. Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book “Leadership On A Shoestring Budget” is available everywhere books are sold. If you need a speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com

  

Keys to Surviving During Times of Financial Stress by Dr. Madeline Frank

If your spouse passed away would you be able to pay your bills? If you were divorced would you be able to pay your bills and take care of your family? If your parents passed away would you be able to pay your bills?

Are you getting married soon? Several of my former students have just gotten married and next month another former student will be marrying his sweetheart. Whether you are single, married, divorced, or your spouse has passed away you need a plan in place for your financial future to protect you and your family.

When I was engaged to be married, my Momma, Romayne Leader Frank, a lawyer specializing in Family Law and Real Estate, was getting ready to give a speech to the local Women's Club on "Financial Success". Mamma had clients who were widowers, widowed, divorced, and single who suddenly had no money or credit in their own name. The credit card and bank accounts were in their deceased spouses name, their divorced spouses name or in their parent’s name which meant they did not have any money or credit in their own name and were unable to pay their bills and take care of themselves and their families.

My Momma asked me to listen to her speech to see what I thought of it! Momma spoke of the need for women to have credit in their own name, not in their spouse’s name, their former spouse’s name or their parents name but in their own name.

On that particular day Momma was talking to the Women’s Club. When she spoke to other organizations she said “Everyone, meaning both men and women, should always have their own separate checking, savings and credit card accounts in their own name so they would never find themselves without a way to support themselves and their loved ones.

I have over the years called our families’ accounts yours, mine and ours. The same name as the Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda Movie "Yours, Mine and Ours." In the movie the title referred to children though not to money. Over the years, I have shared my Momma's wisdom with many others. Her speech was well received by me and the Women’s Club and has stood the test of time. 

What are the secrets my Momma, Romayne Leader Frank taught for women and men to be financially independent?

1) Open a bank account in your name at a secure bank that is insured by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation and start immediately to put your money in it for your nest egg.

2) Open a checking account in your own name and put your money in it.

3) Get an American Express and or Visa Card at a very low interest rate in your own name and begin to use it immediately and pay your bill as soon as the statement comes in to establish your credit.

4) If you buy a house make sure your name is on the title and before purchasing your house have a professional title search done to make sure there are no liens or prior owners of the house.

5) If you are paying a mortgage on your house pay the bill on time. If the interest is too high, talk to the holder of your mortgage and get it moved down. Always get a fixed mortgage rate.

6) If you buy a car make sure the title is in your name. If you are paying the car off each month pay the monthly charge on time. If the mortgage on the car is too high, talk to the mortgage company into lowering the rate. Make sure you have a locked in fixed rate. © 2024, 2010 Madeline Frank

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, sought after speaker, business owner, teacher, researcher, and concert artist. She helps businesses and organizations “Tune Up their Businesses”. Her innovative observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your businesses successful. She writes a monthly newsletter “Madeline’s Monthly Article & Musical Tips” and a monthly radio show “Madeline’s One Minute Musical Radio Show”. She has just published her new book “Leadership On A Shoestring Budget”. Her book is available at Amazon.com on Kindle or as a physical book.

If you need a speaker or video speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com

 

 

 

Do You Count Your Blessings? by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

How many of us ever remember to count our blessings? Do you give thanks for your blessings? How do you remember the people who have helped you, believed in you, and loved you over the years? Do you start the day with a positive attitude remembering the blessings you were given?

I am thankful for a wonderful caring mother, grandmother, mother-in-law and Aunt –in-law. Do you give thanks for your blessings? Every year we have special days to remind us to give thanks. We should give thanks every day for our blessings.

My Momma, Romayne Leader Frank arranged her law classes so she would be home when my older brother and I got home from elementary school. She'd have milk and cookies on the dining room table for my brother and I and she would join us with her coffee. We would all study together every day after school. Momma had her law books to study and my brother and I had our homework from elementary school to study. If you had a question Momma would say very softly, "How about opening your book and looking for the answer?"

As a child of 8, I remember thinking that it didn't feel quite so lonely and awful anymore to sit and do our homework because Momma was right there with us doing her homework too. We worked together for three years until Momma finished law school at the top of her class. Momma, Romayne Leader Frank taught us to look for the answers to our problems. She taught us to think for ourselves. 

Mary Chernick Leader, my Grandmother, my Momma's mother, worked as a secretary at the Boroughs Corporation, had a women's stock club where she taught other women how to study companies and invest in the stock market with little money to develop a nest egg. She also helped the Braille Society and sang and played the mandolin in a Mandolin Orchestra. She raised a wonderful daughter my Momma, Romayne Leader Frank, who learned from her patience, kindness, dedication to her family and caring about others. My Grandma Leader enjoyed reading and doing cross word puzzles and had a remarkable vocabulary which she shared with her daughter, my Momma.

When I was a child of 7, I remember Grandma Leader sitting patiently with me encouraging me to read. She had a Hershey’s Chocolate bar and a bottle of Coca-Cola on the table nearby and every page of the book I read to her I would receive the prize of a bite of chocolate and a sip of Coca-Cola. This was a big treat as both Momma and Grandma did not ordinarily let any of us eat candy or soda pop. 

My Mother-in-Law, Pearl Neustein Berger was the 6th child out of 8 children born to Regina and Herman Neustein. My Mother-in- law, Pearl raised her two children, ages 5 and 13, when her husband Samuel Berger died of Cancer. She worked hard to provide for her children giving them good moral values, taught them to study and work hard, and to care about helping others. She had them go to religious services every week. She worked hard to make sure both her children went to college and graduate school. 

For many years she worked at B. Altman’s in New York City, a wonderful department store. I remember, shortly after my husband Allan and I were married, my husband had to register for his next semester of graduate school and he could not get off work to go to Barnard Baruch to register. I was working that day too. His Mom, Pearl Berger, had that day off from work and she said she would get him registered at the school. She was always willing to help her children and others. She was one of the most caring and honorable people I have had the pleasure to know. She was five feet one inches tall and to me she was one of the tallest and strongest women I have known because of her caring and commitment to her family, friends and helping others.

Pearl Berger’s sister, my Aunt- in- Law, Helen Neustein was the 7th child of the family. Helen also worked at B.Altman’s Department store in the shoe department. She was a wonderful person with a very big heart raised with the values of honor and respect just like her sister Pearl. My husband, Allan, remembers her playing baseball with him as a child. She was always patient and kind. Helen was also about 5 foot one inch tall but she seemed 6 feet tall because of her caring and commitment to her family, friends, and clients.

What are 3 things you can do to remember the blessings you have been given?

1) Start your day by remembering and writing down your blessings. Think of one person who has made a positive impact on your life and do something nice for them.

2) Honor a special person in your life on a weekly basis by acts of kindness to others.

3)Think of the people who have made a difference in your life and honor them in some way by sharing those blessings with others by acts of kindness.

Remember to start your day by counting your blessings!

What have I learned from my Momma, Romayne Leader Frank, my Grandma Mary Chernick Leader, my Mother-in-Law, Pearl Neustein Berger, and my Aunt-in-Law, Helen Neustein?

1)Be patient and persistent no matter how difficult the problem and keep working to find your solution.
2) Never be overwhelmed by adversity and stick to your course of action to solve the problem.
3) Remember that if we help others we will be helping ourselves at the same time. 

© 2024, 2011 Madeline Frank

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, sought after speaker, business owner, teacher, researcher, and concert artist. She helps businesses and organizations “Tune Up their Businesses”. Her innovative observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your businesses successful. She writes a monthly newsletter “Madeline’s Monthly Article & Musical Tips” and a monthly radio show “Madeline’s One Minute Musical Radio Show”. She has just published her new book “Leadership On A Shoestring Budget”. Her book is available at Amazon.com on Kindle or as a physical book.

If you need a speaker or video speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com

 

 

 

Create Your Memorable Speech with 5 Key Ingredients by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

How should you begin your speech? How about asking a question and then telling a story? What do you think is the most important part of any speech?

 

President Abraham Lincoln was known as an eloquent and masterful speaker. During the Civil War, President Lincoln would attend Wednesday night prayer services at the New York Avenue Presbyterian Church not far from the White House with a companion. Reverend Dr. Phineas Gurley, the preacher, invited President Lincoln “to sit in his study with the door open” to hear the sermon assuring the President’s privacy.

 

When the service was over and President Lincoln and his companion were walking ” back to the White House” his companion asked, “What did you think of tonight’s sermon?”

 

President Lincoln replied, “Well, it was brilliantly conceived, biblical, relevant, and well presented.”

 

“So, it was a great sermon?”

 

President Lincoln, “No, it failed. It failed because Dr. Gurley did not ask us to do something great.”

 

President Lincoln was saying every speech should have a “Call to Action” for the audience to do something. It is not enough for an audience to be inspired. The audience must be motivated to take action. President Lincoln felt the most important part of any speech was for the audience to be motivated to take action after having heard the speech.

 

Bill Gove, “the legendary father of professional speaking” said, “Your audience will remember your stories long after they forget the content of your speech. Tell a story and make a point… and then tell them another story and make another point.”

 

The true story of President Lincoln attending prayer services on Wednesday night is a story all of us will remember and his reminder that every speech should have a call to action is something we will not forget. It follows Bill Gove’s important speaking tip “tell a story and make a point.”

 

The words you choose for your speech must be spoken with passion, conviction, enthusiasm, and clarity. We will never forget the following words of Prime Minister Winston Churchill: “Never, never, never, never give up.”

 

He spoke these words during the darkest days of WWII while visiting the Harrow School. By choosing the right words he rallied the British people around him to fight against the enemy that wished to take over Great Britain. He empowered his countrymen and women to take action and fight to protect their country.

Patrick Henry said the following words 248 years ago: “Give me liberty or give me death.” He spoke these words with clarity and conviction and these words motivated his audience to take action.

 

President Ronald Reagan said, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall”. By choosing the right words President Regan motivated his audience to take action.

 

What are the 5 key ingredients to create your memorable speech?

1) Speak with passion, conviction, enthusiasm, and clarity.

2) Inspire your audience by telling true stories.

3) Choose the right words.

4) As Bill Gove said, “Make your point after telling a story”.

5) At the end of your speech have a “Call to Action”. Remember what President Abraham Lincoln said, “Dr. Gurley did not ask us to do something great.”

 

By remembering to use these 5 key ingredients in your speech, it will be a masterpiece and your words will inspire others to take action. (C) 2024, 2013 Madeline Frank

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM  is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, sought after speaker, business owner, teacher, researcher, and concert artist. She helps businesses and organizations “Tune Up their Businesses”. Her innovative observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your businesses successful. She writes a monthly newsletter “Madeline’s Monthly Article & Musical Tips” and a monthly radio show “Madeline’s One Minute Musical Radio Show”. She has just published her new book “Leadership On A Shoestring Budget”. Her book is available at Amazon.com on Kindle or as a physical book.

 

If you need a speaker or video speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

Don’t Cheat the Work! by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

Many people think that when professional athletes “make it”, they lose some of their hunger and drive. When they are considered one of the greatest of all time in their sport…who could blame them for coasting? They have the fame, the glory, and the contract. 

 

Koby Bryant is widely considered to be one of the greatest athletes of all time. He has earned 5 NBA championships, played in 18 all-star games, and even won an Oscar. His victories were not won on the court during the game as much as they were forged in his mind and his relentless dedication to becoming an elite athlete. 

 

While natural born abilities play a role in someone’s success, Kobe’s motto was “Hard work outweighs talent, every time.” (He was known for beginning his workouts at 4 am…not only early in his career, but throughout his entire career.  

  

What does it take to be the very best athlete and leader?

Koby Bryant’s speech in 2016 at an awards ceremony, was addressed to all athletes. He said, “we are not on this stage just because of talent or ability. We’re up here because of 4am. We’re up here at 2am or 5 am. We’re up here because we had a dream and let nothing stand in our way.” We're up here because we had a dream and let nothing stand in our way. If anything tried to bring us down , we used it to make us stronger. We were never satisfied, never finished. We will never be retired.”

 

What are the questions you need to ask yourself?

 

What is your dream or goal?

 

What are the steps “you” have to take to get there?

 

How to become your best self!

 

What are you passionate about?

(Purpose and meaning: Passion and purpose)

 

Once you know what your dream or goal is you have to follow the necessary steps to obtain it!

 

Model yourself on the great ones!

Persevere no matter what your obstacles are!

What do you have to do to be excellent or elite?

 

Darren Hardy said, Bryant’s Message was:" No matter how talented you are, you can’t cheat the work." “Bryant was an obsessive athlete. He’d work out at 4am. He trained three times as much or more than others. “He had a ruthlessly competitive mindset. He was the perfect example of what happens when elite talent and work ethic come together.”

 

Darren Hardy: "The lesson here is how to “become your best self and whatever your craft, you can’t cheat the work. There is a process to becoming great at anything. It requires time, attention, and discipline. It demands unreasonable commitment. It’s not for the Nandi Pandey or the faint at heart. There is no shortcut to the top of a mountain. What does it mean to not cheat the work and how do you ensure that you don’t?" 

 

A few thoughts:

“No.1 The Choice”

 

We build a life by the choices we make!

 

What do you have to do to be excellent or elite? Raise the bar on leadership!

 

" Alabama Coach Nick Saban talked about the five choices you have in life.  1)You know, we can be bad at what we do.

2)We can be average at what we do.

3) We can be good at what we do, which probably is God’s expectation for whatever ability he gives us.

4)  Or we can be excellent or

5)  we can be elite. “

 

"It doesn’t matter what God given ability you have, that probably will make you good. But without the rest of it I’m not sure you ever get excellent or elite."

 

1)“If you want to be excellent or elite, you have to do special things. 

 

You have to have special intensity, focus, commitment, drive, and passion to do the things at a high level and a high standard all the time.

 

No matter what God given ability you have, that can probably make you good, but without the rest of it, you’ll never get to be excellent or elite.”

 

2) "Never done. Always better."

 

Georgia Football Coach Smart’s Challenge:

 

“A Coach Saban protégée has won back to back Championships at UGA. He knows the Bulldog’s biggest opponent in 2023 wouldn’t be another team; it would be entitlement the next morning after winning the second consecutive national championship.”

 

Coach Kirby Smart said “Start thinking about the next one. I do think it’s going to be much tougher. And I think we’ll have to reinvent ourselves next year because you can’t just stay the same.”

 “The disease that creeps into your program is called entitlement. It is why great organizations fail.”

 

When Leadership Fails:

 Darren Hardy says, “88% of Fortune 500 companies in 1955 are no longer around. They are no longer in business or have been acquired. 88% in recent history.”

 

Why does leadership Fail?

“Entitlement destroys them. Complacency is the enemy. Numerous examples of great companies have gone bankrupt. Blockbuster, Polaroid, Borders, Kodak, Circuit City, Radio Shack, Toys R Us, Lehman Brothers, Compaq, Arthur Anderson, and many others.

 

All of them reached championship level of success but then eventually failed.”

 

Challenge to Leaders:

 

Coach Smart challenged his players:

1)    "Stay hungry, stay humble, always improve, never above the work, no entitlement."

"His message to his team was simple and powerful." 

  “We stay hungry, we stay humble. We can always improve. We’re never above doing the work, we’re never entitled to success. Human nature assumes success will continue, but that’s not the case. Everything must be earned all the time. Once you make a choice to do the work required to be successful , you must have the humility to know nothing is ever owned or guaranteed.”

 

What are a few areas in your life that you are constantly hungry to improve? Is it your physical condition or energy? Is it your finances? Is it being the best spouse and/or parent you can be?

 

No. 2 Consistency

 

This is where the rubber meets the road. It’s what separates the good from the great and the great from the elite. The invisible thread binds all high performers in sports , business, or any endeavor in life. It is the one thing that can’t be compromised. Koby Bryant knew this all along. Imagine shooting 1000 free throws a day rain or shine. Imagine hitting the gym at 4am while the rest of the world sleeps. Imagine studying game films late into the night to better understand your opponent’s tactics. That’s consistency. It’s doing what needs to be done day in day out regardless of how you feel, how many championships you’ve already won.

 

 It is not about motivation, it’s about discipline.

 

Koby Bryant understood the power of consistency! He understood that small seemingly insignificant choices made over time lead to a significant difference in one’s performance.

 

Let’s take an example from the business world. Let’s say you commit to making 5 extra calls each day. On its own it doesn't seem like much. Do the math. That’s 25 extra calls a week, a 100 a month, and 1200 a year. Imagine how those extra calls can impact your business over a year or 5 years. It’s a game changer. But it all starts with a Choice to be Consistent.

 

Darren Hardy says, "Consistency isn’t glamorous, it doesn’t make headlines, but it is the backbone of success. It’s the secret sauce that all high performers understand and apply. They don’t seek the quick fix or the shortcut. They understand that success is a marathon, not a sprint. And the only way to get to the finish line is to keep putting one foot in front of the other consistently. Remember it is not about being perfect; it’s about being consistent. It’s about showing up day after day, doing the work, whether you feel like it or not because that’s what champions do.”

 

He continues, “They don’t let their feelings dictate their actions. They let their commitment to their goals dictate their actions. They remain consistent. And that, is the true essence of the Mamba mentality. Mamba mind set."

 

Darren Hardy says,  "If you take nothing else away from this . No matter how good you are, no matter how talented you are, no matter how much you have achieved, you can’t cheat the work in sports, in business and in life. "Nothing is guaranteed. Consistency- Doing what needs to be done. Stay consistent. Don’t cheat the work!”

 

"Everything must be earned all the time.”  

 

What have you done in your life (or are doing currently) that involves tedious work and dedication? You may not see immediate results, but you are building the foundation for the results. A skyscraper is not erected 6 hours after the footings were poured. They have to cure to build up the strength necessary to support the structure. Timing is crucial as well as drive. Sometimes the most effective skill you need to possess is patience. 

 

In whatever work you do whether it is being an athlete, leader, teacher, doctor, scientist, sales person…the right choices must be made. The discipline and work ethic must be in place to follow the steps in your success plan. You can’t cheat the work and the steps to get there!

 

 

 

 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations “Tune Up their Business”. Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book “Leadership On A Shoestring Budget” is available everywhere books are sold. If you need a speaker or virtual speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com