My greatest joy, as a teacher is to help
my students discover their abilities and work towards their goals.
Many years ago, I received a call from a
mother of a high school student. She said, "My husband's employer
recommended you as a violin teacher for my son. I would prefer a man to teach
him, but will give you a try. My son is lazy and stupid."
I replied, "Please do not talk that
way about your son in front of him or to others."
I agreed to teach this young man, provided
that she would be encouraging to her son.
A young man with multi colored hair, an
earring, and strange looking clothes walked in to his first violin lesson. His
head was down, and he looked depressed.
We began working on scales, an etude, a
solo piece, and the orchestra audition materials for the state orchestra
auditions. He was a very talented young man and I told him so during our first
lesson and all the lessons that followed. The honest sincere words that I spoke
to him inspired and motivated him to do his best.
When it was time for the next lesson, a
completely different young man walked eagerly up my walkway. He was neatly
dressed, had his head up and wore a big smile. He took pride in his work and in
himself. Each week I saw a transformation in him.
It was our fifth week of lessons, our
final lesson before the state orchestra auditions. I told him how beautiful his
playing was and what a good job he would do on the audition. Preparation makes
all the difference! The honest sincere words that I spoke to him encouraged him to work hard!
He called me a few days after the audition
and said with great pride, "I am the Concertmaster of the orchestra. There
were over 40 people trying out and I won first place." He said this with a
smile on his face over the phone.
I told him how proud of him I was and that
I knew he would win because of his hard work and determination. His Mother
called and said, "Even though you are a woman, you did a good job with
him!"
I bit my tongue, but thanked her for the
compliment.
This young man changed his attitude and
worked hard because of the "honest sincere praise" I gave him at
every lesson. He graduated at the top of his high
school class and went on to college.
Do you remember a teacher or coach who believed in you and gave you words of praise when you needed it?
Have you ever mentored or coached someone
and watched him or her succeed? How did you feel when they were successful?
I bet you felt proud and happy for their
success and you walked a little taller that day!
Zig Ziglar, motivational expert and mentor
in his book, " See You at the Top" read the following story as a
young salesman. It "made a lasting impression" on him. A young woman
had sung since she was a young girl. She "made her musical debt in a
church cantata. She had a beautiful voice and a great career was predicted for
her. As she grew older," she sang more concerts at local functions. Her
family recognized her need for "professional voice training".
Her family found a well-known singing
teacher who told her every little thing she did wrong. As time passed the young
women grew to admire her teacher and married him. Fewer and fewer concerts came
her way as she had lost confidence in her gift of singing. Her teacher and
husband had broken her confidence. When he passed away she was no longer
singing at all.
Several years later she began to date a
salesman and she would sometimes hum a tune while she was with him. He said,
"Sing some more, Honey. You have the most beautiful voice in all the
world".
The salesman was not an expert, but he
knew what he liked and gave her "honest sincere compliments." She
gained confidence from the salesman's "honest appreciative words" and
felt her joy of singing return to her. She was asked to sing in a few concerts.
Once again with her confidence in hand, she resumed her career and married her
salesman.
Zig Ziglar said, "She married the
"good finder" and went on to a successful career. The salesman's
praise for her was totally honest, sincere, and much needed. In fact a sincere
compliment is one of the most effective teaching and motivating methods in
existence."
Do you remember a teacher, coach, friend
or family member who complimented you? Do you remember the compliment?
Coach John Wooden in his book, "Coach
Wooden's Pyramid of Success Playbook" tells the following story:
"When I was a young boy, I was at a gravel pit with my father and a young
man. They had a team of horses and were attempting to pull a load up a steep
road. The young man driving the horses was loud and abusive. In response, the
animals were agitated, worked against each other and couldn't pull the load.
With a gentle voice and gentler touch, my Dad calmed the horses and walked them
forward with a load."
Coach Wooden "learned two important
lessons that day."
1) "Gentleness is a better method of
getting cooperation than harshness."
2) "A team can accomplish much more
when it works together than individuals can when they work alone."
Like all living creatures, the horses
needed kindness and gentleness and honest sincere appreciation to move the
heavy load. Remember this when you are developing others and when you are
working on your own self-development!
Zig Ziglar shared the following story
about a "beggar selling pencils" in New York. A "businessman
dropped a dollar into the cup" of the beggar and rushed to board "the
subway train". The businessman suddenly turned back, before entering the
train, and went back to the beggar selling the pencils. He "took several
pencils from the cup". The businessman apologized and "explained that
in his haste he had neglected to pick up his pencils and hoped the man wouldn't
be upset with him". He said, "You are a businessman just like me. You
have merchandise to sell and it's fairly priced." The businessman then
went to catch "the next train".
A salesman "neatly dressed" came
to a social function and introduced himself to "the businessman". The
salesman said, "You probably don't remember me and I don't know your name,
but I will never forget you. You are the man who gave me back my self-respect.
I was a 'beggar' selling pencils until you came along and told me I was a
businessman."
Zig Ziglar said, " The greatest good
we can do for anyone is not to share our wealth with them, but rather to reveal
their own wealth to them. It's astonishing how much talent and ability rests
inside a human being." Help others to discover their abilities.
When you mentor or coach others and they
become successful how do you feel?
Doesn't it make you happy and proud that
you helped them become successful?
What are 3 ways you
can empower others and yourself to be successful?
1) Each morning begin with a positive
attitude, smile, and start your day by saying positive motivational things to
yourself.
2) Give an "honest sincere
compliment" to inspire, motivate, and encourage someone else each day!
Be like the businessman who told the
"beggar selling pencils", "You are a businessman just like me.
You have merchandise to sell and it's fairly priced." Encouraging words
changed the way the beggar saw himself.
Zig Ziglar said, "A sincere compliment
is one of the most effective teaching and motivating methods in
existence."
3) John Maxwell says, " Make people
development your priority." Help others to discover their abilities and
you will discover yours too! Building confidence in the student and the
singer's abilities made all the difference in the world to them. Their futures
changed for the better.
Start your holiday season right by doing
two things: 1) begin your day with a positive attitude, smile, and say positive
motivational things to yourself. 2) Then give an "honest sincere
compliment" to inspire, motivate, and encourage someone else each day!
Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an award
winning teacher, Amazon.com Best Selling Author, John Maxwell Team Member,
Certified World Class Speaking Coach, sought after speaker, business owner, and
concert artist. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their
Businesses". Her innovative observations show you the blue prints
necessary to improve and keep your business successful. She writes a monthly
newsletter "Madeline's Monthly article & Musical Tips Blog" and a
monthly radio show "Madeline's One Minute Musical Radio Show". Her
book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available on Amazon or
Kindle. Contact Madeline Frank for your next speaking engagement at mfrankviola@gmail.com
