All of us know that heroes come in all shapes and sizes.What is your definition of a hero? The dictionary definition of a hero is a person of “distinguished courage or ability, admired for brave deeds and noble qualities.” If one of your medical students asked you a question “about the need to evaluate new born babies” would you immediately “jot down five points and rushed off to the Obstetrics department to try them out”?
In Aesop's Fable "The Lion and the Mouse" the hero is the tiny mouse who frees the large lion when he is caught in the ropes by the hunter. The mouse chews through the ropes freeing the lion. The mouse proved all though he was small he could be a friend to the mighty lion.
Virginia Apgar began to learn the violin and cello at 6 years of age and played concerts with her older brother on piano and with her Dad, scientist and inventor, Charles Apgar on piano. In 1933 Virginia Apgar became "one of Columbia University's first female M.D.'s" she specialized in the male-dominated area of medicine surgery. She became tired of the chauvinism she was experiencing during her internship and decided to switch her focus the new field of anesthesiology. In 1949 she became the first full professor of anesthesiology at Columbia.
One day a medical student of Dr. Apgar asked her "about the need to evaluate newborn babies." Dr. Apgar said, "That's easy, you'd do it like this." She grabbed the nearest piece of paper, jotted down the 5 points of her Apgar Score and then rushed off to O.B Obstetrics & Gynecology to try it out."
What are Dr. Virginia Apgar's 5 point Score for new born babies?
1) Appearance, skin color
2) Pulse, heart rate
3) Grimace, reflex irritability
4) Activity, muscle tone
5) Respiration, breathing
Dr. Apgar's name is the Pneumonic. As a physician she assisted in over 17,000 births. She was a lifelong musician always carrying her viola or cello with her to play chamber music with other amateur musicians in the Cities she was lecturing in. She also crafted musical instruments a violin, viola and cello.
Dr. Virginia Apgar knew from her research that birth is most dangerous time of life. Her Apgar Score quickly assessed the overall health of new borne babies saving the lives of millions of new born babies each year. When Dr. Apgar was alerted to a problem she immediately thought of how to solve it.
What are the 3 secrets to becoming your own hero?
1) Be a good listener and be observant. Be both interested and curious about solving a problem.
2) Always have a paper and pencil ready, where ever you are, in case you think of a solution to your problem. Think of yourself as a detective like Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson and look for your solution at work or at home.
3) Have a burning desire to help others and you will be giving yourself the best gift of all, caring about others.
by Dr. Madeline Frank
Madeline Frank, Ph.D. business owner, teacher, researcher, speaker and concert artist.She writes a monthly newsletter "Madeline's Monthly Article & Musical Tips" and a monthly radio show "Madeline's One Minute Musical Radio Show".
If you need a speaker contact Madeline at mfrankviola@gmail.com
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Negotiating for my life on top of the world!
It might not be the highest point of the world but it seemed like it while the roofer was holding me up for more money.
Have you ever had to deal with a person who was toxic and difficult on one of your jobs?
I have had the pleasure of working with the best conductors and musicians around the world as you have read in my last article. In my families Construction and Management company I have had the privilege of working with some of the finest roofers, plumbers, electricians, carpenters, brick layers, and other construction personnel for over 20 years. All roofs are supposed to keep us dry in our houses and offices.
I arrived at our job site to inspect and video the progress of the new flat roofs on the buildings we own and manage. The ladder was set up and I climbed up to the first roof with my video camera to record the progress of the first roof.
I should mention that I am a woman, 5 foot 11 inches tall, and weigh 140 pounds. After arriving on the roof, I started to video the progress of the new flat roof when I realized there were bubbles and gaps in the roof. Meanwhile the roofer, a lean linebacker type, was coming my way. I knew he was stronger than me and could easily throw me off the roof in anger.
He said, “I need $3,000 right this minute”! He tried to threaten me by moving me to the edge of the roof. He was so angry! I remained calm, looked him in the eye and reminded him he had received his payment three days ago and that he needed to fix the gapes and bubbles in the membrane so he could receive more money.
I explained I did not carry that amount of money with me as there was no ATM on the roof. I continued to remain calm and looking him in the eye and did not turn my back to him. Eventually he moved away and I moved to another section of the roof and decided to photograph the progress of the other roofs this roofer was not working on at that moment. The roofer knew who I was and had decided he would try to frighten me.
Every few days I would return to check the progress of the roofs and video them. When the roofs were finally completed we breathed a sigh of relief.
What are the 3 secrets I learned about dealing with toxic people in a difficult situation?
1) Look the person in the eye. Always remain calm. Let the difficult person vent. Listen carefully to them without interrupting and do not argue with them - simply listen. When they have finished speaking do not judge or accuse them.
2) Remember, you are not anyone’s personal door mat to be personally bullied. Suggest solutions and the steps for solving the problem. Remember to follow through on the solutions you have agreed on.
3) Realize you cannot solve every problem.
by Dr. Madeline Frank
Madeline Frank, Ph.D. business owner, teacher, researcher, speaker and concert artist. She writes a monthly newsletter "Madeline's Monthly Article & Musical Tips" and a monthly radio show "Madeline's One Minute Musical Radio Show". If you need a speaker contact Madeline at mfrankviola@gmail.com
Have you ever had to deal with a person who was toxic and difficult on one of your jobs?
I have had the pleasure of working with the best conductors and musicians around the world as you have read in my last article. In my families Construction and Management company I have had the privilege of working with some of the finest roofers, plumbers, electricians, carpenters, brick layers, and other construction personnel for over 20 years. All roofs are supposed to keep us dry in our houses and offices.
I arrived at our job site to inspect and video the progress of the new flat roofs on the buildings we own and manage. The ladder was set up and I climbed up to the first roof with my video camera to record the progress of the first roof.
I should mention that I am a woman, 5 foot 11 inches tall, and weigh 140 pounds. After arriving on the roof, I started to video the progress of the new flat roof when I realized there were bubbles and gaps in the roof. Meanwhile the roofer, a lean linebacker type, was coming my way. I knew he was stronger than me and could easily throw me off the roof in anger.
He said, “I need $3,000 right this minute”! He tried to threaten me by moving me to the edge of the roof. He was so angry! I remained calm, looked him in the eye and reminded him he had received his payment three days ago and that he needed to fix the gapes and bubbles in the membrane so he could receive more money.
I explained I did not carry that amount of money with me as there was no ATM on the roof. I continued to remain calm and looking him in the eye and did not turn my back to him. Eventually he moved away and I moved to another section of the roof and decided to photograph the progress of the other roofs this roofer was not working on at that moment. The roofer knew who I was and had decided he would try to frighten me.
Every few days I would return to check the progress of the roofs and video them. When the roofs were finally completed we breathed a sigh of relief.
What are the 3 secrets I learned about dealing with toxic people in a difficult situation?
1) Look the person in the eye. Always remain calm. Let the difficult person vent. Listen carefully to them without interrupting and do not argue with them - simply listen. When they have finished speaking do not judge or accuse them.
2) Remember, you are not anyone’s personal door mat to be personally bullied. Suggest solutions and the steps for solving the problem. Remember to follow through on the solutions you have agreed on.
3) Realize you cannot solve every problem.
by Dr. Madeline Frank
Madeline Frank, Ph.D. business owner, teacher, researcher, speaker and concert artist. She writes a monthly newsletter "Madeline's Monthly Article & Musical Tips" and a monthly radio show "Madeline's One Minute Musical Radio Show". If you need a speaker contact Madeline at mfrankviola@gmail.com
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
How to deal with difficult and toxic people at work and at home!
Have you ever met anyone who was always mean and nasty no matter what? Have you ever had to deal with a person who was toxic and difficult?
Toxic people have many of the following traits: unhappiness, loneliness, depression, jealousy, and low self-esteem. Their way of coping is to be overbearing, controlling, and bossy to anyone nearby.
I have had the privilege of working with the finest Conductors in the world as a musician. When I arrived on tour in a new City the visiting foreign Conductor asked me the following three questions before the first rehearsal: “You are not French? You are a woman? You are an American?”
I looked him in the eye and replied calmly and politely to each question. “No I am not French. Yes, I am a woman and yes, I am an American.”
I realized at that moment that the guest conductor did not like women from America. At rehearsals he spoke to the orchestra musicians in a toxic manner and I actually saw the musicians cringe. His tone of voice said it all. He spoke to me in English and I felt no warmth coming from this man. I realized I had finally met my “Waterloo”.
He wanted complete control of the interpretation of the Concerto I was playing, even though he told me he had never conducted it before. I had played this Concerto many times before with marvelous warm hearted conductors.
The orchestra was a very talented one and the principal cellist, a woman, smiled encouragingly at me when the conductor was being his usual toxic self at a rehearsal one day. Her smile said, “take heart everything will be fine just do your best.”
I knew as a visitor to a foreign country I needed to be polite, calm and careful. I listened to the Conductor’s suggestions and did my best to satisfy him during rehearsals. He wanted things done his way. I knew on the day of the concert he would have to follow me and he would not be able to be difficult and toxic in front of an audience.
The concert went very well and the orchestra and I were all smiling at the audience. The audience gave me a standing ovation and three vases of roses were brought up after our performance. At that moment I felt totally free of the toxic conductor and decided immediately to play three encores for the audience and bring them a few more minutes of beautiful music. The three selections were Massenet’s “Meditation from Thais”, Lehar’s “Waltz” and “Autumn Leaves”.
The Conductor’s expression was not a happy one as he was no longer in control of the situation. To me sharing music should always be a joyful experience.
What are the 3 secrets I learned about dealing with toxic and difficult people?
1) Look the person in the eye. Always remain calm, show respect to the toxic person, and insist on respect in return. When you remain calm the angry toxic person will be neutralized.
2) Remember, you are not any ones personal door mat to be personally bullied. Walk away when you are being verbally abused.
3) Let the difficult toxic person vent. Listen carefully to them without interrupting and do not argue with them - simply listen. When they have finished speaking do not judge or accuse them. Suggest solutions and the steps for solving the problem. Remember to follow through on the solutions you have agreed on.
by Dr. Madeline Frank
Madeline Frank, Ph.D. business owner, teacher, researcher, speaker and concert artist. She writes a monthly newsletter "Madeline's Monthly Article & Musical Tips" and a monthly radio show "Madeline's One Minute Musical Radio Show".
If you need a speaker contact Madeline at mfrankviola@gmail.com
http://www.madelinefrankviola.com/
http://ezinearticles.com/?id=3217661
Toxic people have many of the following traits: unhappiness, loneliness, depression, jealousy, and low self-esteem. Their way of coping is to be overbearing, controlling, and bossy to anyone nearby.
I have had the privilege of working with the finest Conductors in the world as a musician. When I arrived on tour in a new City the visiting foreign Conductor asked me the following three questions before the first rehearsal: “You are not French? You are a woman? You are an American?”
I looked him in the eye and replied calmly and politely to each question. “No I am not French. Yes, I am a woman and yes, I am an American.”
I realized at that moment that the guest conductor did not like women from America. At rehearsals he spoke to the orchestra musicians in a toxic manner and I actually saw the musicians cringe. His tone of voice said it all. He spoke to me in English and I felt no warmth coming from this man. I realized I had finally met my “Waterloo”.
He wanted complete control of the interpretation of the Concerto I was playing, even though he told me he had never conducted it before. I had played this Concerto many times before with marvelous warm hearted conductors.
The orchestra was a very talented one and the principal cellist, a woman, smiled encouragingly at me when the conductor was being his usual toxic self at a rehearsal one day. Her smile said, “take heart everything will be fine just do your best.”
I knew as a visitor to a foreign country I needed to be polite, calm and careful. I listened to the Conductor’s suggestions and did my best to satisfy him during rehearsals. He wanted things done his way. I knew on the day of the concert he would have to follow me and he would not be able to be difficult and toxic in front of an audience.
The concert went very well and the orchestra and I were all smiling at the audience. The audience gave me a standing ovation and three vases of roses were brought up after our performance. At that moment I felt totally free of the toxic conductor and decided immediately to play three encores for the audience and bring them a few more minutes of beautiful music. The three selections were Massenet’s “Meditation from Thais”, Lehar’s “Waltz” and “Autumn Leaves”.
The Conductor’s expression was not a happy one as he was no longer in control of the situation. To me sharing music should always be a joyful experience.
What are the 3 secrets I learned about dealing with toxic and difficult people?
1) Look the person in the eye. Always remain calm, show respect to the toxic person, and insist on respect in return. When you remain calm the angry toxic person will be neutralized.
2) Remember, you are not any ones personal door mat to be personally bullied. Walk away when you are being verbally abused.
3) Let the difficult toxic person vent. Listen carefully to them without interrupting and do not argue with them - simply listen. When they have finished speaking do not judge or accuse them. Suggest solutions and the steps for solving the problem. Remember to follow through on the solutions you have agreed on.
by Dr. Madeline Frank
Madeline Frank, Ph.D. business owner, teacher, researcher, speaker and concert artist. She writes a monthly newsletter "Madeline's Monthly Article & Musical Tips" and a monthly radio show "Madeline's One Minute Musical Radio Show".
If you need a speaker contact Madeline at mfrankviola@gmail.com
http://www.madelinefrankviola.com/
http://ezinearticles.com/?id=3217661
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About Me
- Madeline
- Madeline Frank, Ph.D. business owner, teacher, researcher, speaker and concert artist. She writes a monthly newsletter "Madeline's Monthly Article & Musical Tips" and a monthly radio show "Madeline's One Minute Musical Radio Show".