Burn the Boats! Giving Up Is Never An Option! by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

Lessons from Sun Tzu and Napoleon Hill on The Art of War: Burn Your Boats 

 

“When your army has crossed the border, you should burn your boats and bridges, in order to make it clear to everybody that you have no hankering after home.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

 

 Sun Tzu’s book “Art of War” taught armies to burn their boats and destroy the bridges behind them as they advanced into new territory. He argued that soldiers without the option of taking flight are more likely to prevail over their objective.”

 

Throughout history:

 “The ancient Greek soldiers understood the idea. They possessed an unwavering attitude to victory and commitment when Grecian armies landed on their enemy’s shore, the first order the generals gone was to “burn to boats”. They knew the power of motivation and necessity. They didn’t give themselves the opportunity to hesitate, to reflect, to procrastinate, and they didn’t know if they would be victorious. However, they were highly motivated because there was no other course, no other option.”

Alexander the Great “burned his boats upon arrival on the shores of Persia. By burning his boats, Alexander committed his men to victory over the Persians who greatly outnumbered the Macedonians. Considering what Alexander was feeling, the decision to destroy their only hope of retreat was extraordinary and proved to be a master decision.”

Spanish Captain, Hernán Cortés in 1519 “landed on the shores of the new world, Mexico, and gave the order to “burn the boats”. 

 

The act of burning the boats “is as relevant today as it was in ancient times. If ships are left in the harbor, your team will see that you are not fully committed to the battle, project or transformation. If you are the leader not fully committed why should they be? By removing any available path back to the status quo your team will become as fully committed as you are. Burning the boats is forcing businesses to innovate. Yet how many businesses use the word “innovation” actually cut off the return to the old? With technology creating seismic shifts on a global scale at an alarming pace, business must be prepared to adopt or be left behind. Change requires commitment. Leaders need to inspire the teams to follow and, as taught by Sun Tzu, will need to burn the bridges and boats to move their organization forward to remain competitive. Leaders will achieve when they show their commitment to the task at hand. They have to make themselves accountable declaring that failure is not a choice.” 

http://blenheimpartners.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Burn-the-Boats.pdf

 

 

1.     Step one of the growth is the mindset shift. 

Are you willing to let go of the comfort of what you know (even if you know that it is not the right path for you…right relationship, right job, right direction)?

 

The blanket of comfort will lull you into a sense of complacency and will not allow the fantastic job, relationship, or opportunity in. 

 

It is essential that you have someone else hold you accountable to creating positive change. Whether it is a coach, mentor, or mastermind group…invest in the right people who will allow you to get comfortable being uncomfortable. 

 

Napoleon Hill wrote about Edwin Barnes in Think and Grow Rich, “When Edwin C. Barnes climbed down from the freight train in Orange, N. J. more than thirty years ago, he may have resembled a tramp, but his thoughts were those of a king! He had invested time visualizing himself standing in Edison's presence. He heard himself asking Mr. Edison for an opportunity to carry out the one CONSUMING OBSESSION OF HIS LIFE, a BURNING DESIRE to become the business associate of the great inventor.”

 

Barnes worked for 5 years before his dream, his desire to become a partner of Thomas Edison became a reality.

 

Napoleon Hill recounts that first meeting with Edward Barnes:

Mr. Edison said, “He stood there before me, looking like an ordinary tramp, but there was something … determination. I had learned, from years of experience with men, that when a man really desires a thing so deeply that he is willing to stake his entire future on a single turn of the wheel in order to get it, he is sure to win. Barnes had no money to begin with. He had but little education. He had no influence. But he did have initiative, faith, and the will to win. With these intangible forces he made himself the number one man with the greatest inventor who ever lived.”

 

Notes from Napoleon Hill:

“Barnes did not say, “I will work there for a few months, and if I get no encouragement, I will quit and get a job somewhere else.” 

 

He said, “I will start anywhere. I will do anything Edison tells me to do, but before I am through, I will be his associate.”

 

He did not say, “I will keep my eyes open for another opportunity, in case I fail to get what I want in the Edison organization.”

 

 Barnes said, “There is but one thing in this world that I am determined to have, and that is a business association with Thomas Edison. I will burn all bridges behind me, and stake my entire future on my ability to get what I want.” 

 

“He left himself no possible way of retreat. He had to win or perish! That is all there is to the Barnes story of success!”

 

 

Why did Barnes succeed?

Napoleon Hill said, “Barnes succeeded because he chose a definite goal, placed all his energy, all his will power, all his effort, everything back of that goal. He did not become the partner of Edison the day he arrived. He was content to start in the most menial work, as long as it provided an opportunity to take even one step toward his cherished goal.”

 

“Five years passed before the chance he had been seeking made its appearance. During all those years not one ray of hope, not one promise of attainment of his DESIRE had been held out to him. To everyone, except himself, he appeared only another cog in the Edison business wheel, but in his own mind, HE WAS THE PARTNER OF EDISON EVERY MINUTE OF THE TIME, from the very day that he first went to work there.”

 

“It is a remarkable illustration of the power of a DEFINITE DESIRE. Barnes won his goal, because he wanted to be a business associate of Mr. Edison, more than he wanted anything else. He created a plan by which to attain that purpose. But he BURNED ALL BRIDGES BEHIND HIM. He stood by his DESIRE until it became the dominating obsession of his life--and--finally, a fact.”

 

Napoleon Hill said about Barnes, “When he went to Orange, He said, "I will see Edison, and put him on notice that I have come to go into business with him."

 

He said, "I will start anywhere. I will do anything Edison tells me to do, but before I am through, I will be his associate."

 

He said, "There is but ONE thing in this world that I am determined to have, and that is a business association with Thomas A. Edison. I will burn all bridges behind me, and stake my ENTIRE FUTURE on my ability to get what I want. He left himself no possible way of retreat. He had to win or perish!”

 

https://www.sacred-texts.com/nth/tgr/tgr07.htm

 

Do you have a “Definite Desire”, like Barnes did?

 

If not, can you shut down your devices for a few minutes and write down a few goals that you want to reach? 

 

 Are you willing to burn all bridges behind you to obtain that goal?

 

Are you willing to do the hard work required?  

 

 Do you have a step by step plan to achieve your dream or your goal??

 

Barnes “was content to start in the most menial work, as long as it provided an opportunity to take even one step toward his cherished goal.”

 

Are you willing to do the work necessary to reach your goal, your dream? 

 

Are you willing to work hard for 5 years, like Barnes did?

 

 

 

 

 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, John Maxwell Team Member, concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations “Tune Up their Business”. Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book “Leadership On A Shoestring Budget” is available everywhere books are sold. If you need a speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Thoughts to Begin Your Day! by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

How to start your day with excitement and enthusiasm with an air of creativity!

 

Happy thoughts!

Do you remember as a child waking up at the crack of dawn, filled with happiness, excitement and enthusiasm because it was your birthday or a special holiday? 

Do you remember how excited you were?

  

Do you remember the gift you received and how you enjoyed unwrapping it?

 

One of the most exciting gifts I received was when I was an eight year old child.

It was a violin. That violin was my opportunity to change my life and brought me great joy!

 

Do you remember receiving a gift that changed your life?

 

When you remember that gift does it make you happy and grateful?

 

When I was 12 years old, I took Home Economics in public school. Momma bought me a used Singer Sewing machine so I could make the required clothes for class. I also made things for my younger siblings like bibs, handmade dolls, and aprons. It was a wonderful gift to learn how to do something new. The class also taught us to sew, with nice hand stitching to hem clothes, and cook basic meals! I smile as I remember this!

 

What is the difference between a day that feels like everything that can go wrong will vs one that feels like everything goes your way? 

 

It obviously starts with the beginning. 

 

I’m sure you know someone who walks into the office every morning, a grimacing look plastered on their face, and they usually look for the negative side of everything.  

I’m not sure how this person starts their day, but it probably looks like this:

 

· An alarm blaring at full volume, jolting them awake.

· Scrolling through social media (comparing yourself to others).

· Reading/watching the news (creating panic, fear, and doubt).

· Reading email (letting other people prioritize your time).

· Grumbling about going to work/school. 

 

If this is the foundation for your day, what lens do you think you will see life through that day?

 

You will likely focus on things you do not want.

You will likely look at lack, doubt, and hopelessness with greater importance.

You will likely quash most positive thoughts that enter your mind. 

  

Instead beginning your day like this:

 

1) Set your alarm clock to ease you awake (most phones have this setting to whisper you awake, rather than jolt you out of bed). 

 

2) Spend a few minutes in silence, focusing on what you are grateful for. It is easy to do this when life is going well…but it is essential to do this when life is not perfect. 

 

3) Move your body in some way, whether it is stretching or slipping into your workout clothes to get your heart pumping. 

 

4) Journal for 5 minutes about whatever flows into your mind. Positive ideas can be captured, and concerns stop renting space in your mind once they are put on paper. Send a note of encouragement to a child, family member, or friend! Write 5 things down you are grateful for!

 

5) Only read/listen to/watch something growth related or positive. 

 

It’s all about starting your day with gratitude and positive thoughts. 

 

So how can you give yourself a gift like this every day?

 

·       Begin your day by thinking of joyful things and gratitude.

·       Don’t listen to the news. 

·       Don’t check emails for at least two hours after waking. 

·       Set your priorities for gratitude, growth, and challenge for the day (yes…we all need challenges! )

·       Fuel your mind by reading a positive article. 

·       Write a motivating encouraging note or thank you note to child, parent, or friend.

  

Thomas Dreier said, “Today should always be our most wonderful day.”

 

One of the most effective strategies I’ve discovered to set myself up for success is to ask a series of “power questions”.

 

For example:

What am I grateful for in the past 24 hours?

 

What am I excited about today?

 

What am I unsure of, but know I can conquer today?

 

Gordon Tredgold of Leadership Principles Ltd says, “People are more open to ideas, communication, opportunities, and ambitious goals when they are happy.”

He continues, “Happy teams are productive teams, and this productivity comes from people’s openness to be more inspired when they are happy, it increases their belief in what they are capable of and what they are prepared to try.”

 

Zig Ziglar, motivational expert and speaker said, “You have to feed your mind daily with the good, clean, pure, powerful and positive.”

 

So, what is the best way to start your day?

 

Give this strategy a try for the next 10 days and let me know how it works for you! 

 

 

 

 

 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, John Maxwell Team Member, concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations “Tune Up their Business”. Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book “Leadership On A Shoestring Budget” is available everywhere books are sold. If you need a speaker or virtual speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

Mastering The Power of Persuasion Is Easier Than You Think by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

My favorite quote is from Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay cosmetics, “Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, ‘Make me feel important.’ Never forget this message when working with people.”

 

The greatest leaders and persuaders of all time understand that respect is the key that opens a closed mind. When you treat everyone with respect, whether their job is working a toll gate, waiting tables, janitor, cashier, entrepreneur, politician, President, or CEO. Treat them with respect and courtesy. 

 

Think of someone you have met who was truly interested in your opinion, or asked you about yourself…and truly listened (instead of thinking about what they were going to say). It made you feel pretty good. 

 

Here are a few tactics that may help you sharpen your communication and become a master of persuasion:

 

Concise and clear thinking: 

Bob Berg talks about the “3 P’s of Positive Persuasion”. Take a deep breath- and be polite, patient and persistent.” I would also add tact, which is the successful execution of politeness.

 

Politeness disarms most people’s biases and begins the relationship building process on a good note. No one was ever upset about doing business with someone who they liked too much due to their politeness. 

 

What would happen if you approached every situation with politeness? Entering a meeting with a sincere smile, wrapped in positive expectation will separate you from 95% of the others this person deals with all day long.

 

Play the game of unexpected kindness:

A student of mine’s mother was driving her van filled with her children on a busy road when a driver suddenly pulled in front of her, missing her car by inches. Instead of cursing at the driver for nearly causing an accident, she smiled and blew a kiss at the driver. The driver looked back at her with a confused look on her face! (her children smiled as she was telling what happened.”

 

Her children learned a valuable lesson that day from their Mom.

 

Bob Burg, “Show patience when he or she is resistant to helping. It may be the way they’re used to doing things, living in the problems (“Can’t be done” or “Not our policy”) instead of the solutions. Or it may just be easier to try and discourage you so they don’t have to work too hard in order to earn their daily bread.”

“You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em”- The Gambler, Kenny Rogers.

 

In other words, pick your battles! 

 

Patience means that not everything requires a response. You may be at complete odds with the person you are talking with, and may feel the need to lash out and have your opinion heard…but so do they. 

 

Maturity and patience will melt most communication barriers. It may mean that the other person needs to be heard and validated. They don’t necessarily want a solution; they just want to know that they matter. 

 

Listening to Others:

Dale Carnegie tells the story in his book Lincoln the Unknown about President Lincoln inviting an old friend to the White House to discuss the conflict between north and south. President Lincoln’s friend just listened to both sides of the conflict and then the President decided and thanked his friend for coming to listen. He then made his decision. Both sides knew that their ideas had been heard. 

 

Mike Robbins, speaker and author says, “By listening to others, you show them respect. You let them know that you care about what they’re saying and that you value their perspective.” 

 

Dale Carnegie’s second principle is “Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”

 

 Drs. Ken Blanchart and Spencer Johnson, authors of The One Minute Manager Knows, “Catch them in the act of doing something right.”

 

Bob Burg, “Verbally acknowledge it and them. Make sure everyone knows about the recognition.” (The Art of Persuasion, p118, by Bob Burg)

 

By acknowledging positive behavior, it gets repeated.

 

It’s about the beginning of building relationships. 

 

Bob Burg’s father, Mike Burg defined “Tact as the language of Strength.” 

 

Burg continues, “This may be the one concept that makes the biggest difference in your ability to persuade others to your way of thinking and attain the results you desire. It is known by several different words: diplomacy, delicacy, sensitivity, savoir-faire, and tact.”

Lincoln said, “Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves”.

“This doesn’t usually come naturally. Someone tactful can soothe the feelings of the most difficult people; a tactless person will generally make a bad situation worse.” (Merriam-Webster)

 

It’s all about building relationships.

The other day, I was picking vegetables and an older man with tattoos all over came to stand beside me and started talking. 

I listened!

He shared that he was a retired Military officer with an ill wife. He just needed to talk and share what was on his mind. I just quietly listened for a few minutes. As we concluded the conversation, I could tell that he was more relaxed. We smiled and wished each other a good day. 

 

“Forget the Favor. Instead, Ask for Advice”.

Les Giblin “suggests asking someone for “advice” instead of a “favor.” 

Imagine that your neighbor works for a company that offers the ideal summer job for high school/college students. Your son or daughter would love to secure one of those coveted spots. You correctly feel it would be too presumptuous to simply walk up and ask him to get your kid a job so, instead, you ask him for advice. 

 

You and your son, Billy, meet with the neighbor and your son asks, “Mr. Smith, if you don’t mind my asking, if you were me and wanted to be considered for a summer job at the McJones Company, how would I go about it?” 

 

George, “who is now being asked for counsel, not a favor, might just recommend that Billy call his office on Monday and he’ll see what he can do—or maybe he will introduce Billy to the personnel manager via email and open the door by using him as a referral."

The worst thing that could happen is that your son goes through the hiring process and realizes that he is not qualified this year, but he has some action steps to take to be at the top of the line next year. 

 

Phrasing your request something similar to: “Phyllis, if you were me and were attempting to . . . how would you go about it?” Or “Joe, I’d like to get your opinion on something. What would you do if . . . ?”  will acknowledge the other person’s value and perceived expertise.” It also taps into most people’s desire to help others. 

 

Berg, “Request Instead of Order”

“If you really want to distinguish yourself from the masses, try making requests instead of issuing orders. A person who is used to being ordered to perform, such as a waitperson, staff member, hotel employee, etc., will go absolutely out of his way to serve you if you request his actions. Instead of saying to the waiter, “Bring us some more water,” or “We need water,” say, “When you get a chance, would you please bring us some more water?”

Burg continues, “Some people might think this would only delay getting the water. Actually, the opposite is true. Because you’ve made that person feel respected, you’ll be the first person he’ll want to make happy. Instead of an order, make it a request. Instead of, “Joe, make seven copies of these,” how about, “Joe, would you run seven copies of these for me, please?” Phrase your “order” in the form of a request and you’ll be Winning Without Intimidation both in the short and long-term.” 

 

Bob Burg: “Giblin’s Truth Serum”:

 Les Giblin in his book, How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People, “shows that the best way to help someone to act in a particular way is to let them “live up” to your opinion of them. He provides several wonderful examples of people who were trusted and lived up to the trust placed in them. “

 

“One story tells of a police officer who was consistently able to get “tough guys” to give him information by saying, “People tell me you have quite a reputation as a tough guy and that you’ve been in lots of trouble but there’s one thing you won’t do… You won’t lie. They say, if you tell me anything at all, it will be the truth—and that’s the reason I’m here.” Wow, talk about giving a person something to live up to!” 

 

Bob Burg, “As with the other methods we’ve been discussing, gear this one to your own unique circumstances, and use it often. Not just to see if it works—it works! —but to practice getting really good at making it work for you in a variety of situations. I couldn’t wait to try this one. My first opportunity was with a person attempting to locate some information for me.” 

 

Burg continues, “I had used her services before and she always did a good job. Not great, but good. She was having some trouble this particular time and I said to the person next to me, “I don’t know if this information can be found or not, but I’ll tell you this—if anyone can find it, she can.” 

 

Give them a compliment they can look up to!

 

Burg,” You can bet your boots she found it and now she goes out of her way for me whenever I need to stop by.” 

 

By being persistent you are letting “them know in a very kind, polite manner, that you’re not going away, and that it’s in their own best interest to help you.” Sometimes your persistence will be wrapped in charm, but when they know you will not cease until…they will likely be happy to help. (or not, but either way, they will assist you). 

 

What 5 ingredients will help you connect and persuade others?

1) Burg’s 3 P’s of Positive Persuasion: Be Polite, Patient, and Persistent. Tact is a successful execution of politeness! 

2) No matter what, “treat everyone with respect” and kindness!. When others need a smile, share yours.     (Also say good morning …..)

 3) “Ask for advice”, “ask for help,” or “ask for their opinion.”

  4)  Listen to others.

  5) Request instead of order.” “When you get a chance would you ……….?” 

 By following these 5 ingredients for connecting and persuading others you will build happier relationships.

 

 

 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, John Maxwell Team Member, concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Business". Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available everywhere books are sold. If you need a speaker or virtual speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com