LET THE EXPERTS TEACH YOU HOW TO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

 

Dale Carnegie: “Galen Litchfield-a man I have known for several years; one of the most successful American business men in the Far East. Mr. Litchfield was in China in 1942, when the Japanese invaded Shanghai. And here is his story as he told it to me while a guest in my home:”

 

“Shortly after the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor”, Galen Litchfield began, “they came swarming into Shanghai. I was the manager of the Asia Life Insurance Company in Shanghai. They sent us an ‘army liquidator’-he was really an admiral- and gave me orders to assist this man in liquidating our assets. I didn’t have any choice in the matter. I could cooperate-or else. And the ‘or else’ was certain death.”

 

“I went through the motions of doing what I was told, because I had no alternative. But there was one block of securities, worth $750,000, which I left off the list I gave to the admiral. I left that block of securities off the list because they belonged to our Hong Kong organization and had nothing to do with the Shanghai assets. All the same, I feared I might be in hot water if the Japanese found out what I had done. And they soon found out.”

 

“I wasn’t in the office when the discovery was made, but my head accountant was there. He told me that the Japanese admiral flew into a rage, and stamped and swore, and called me a thief and a traitor! I had defied the Japanese Army! I knew what that meant. I would be thrown into the Bridge house!”

 

“The Bridge House! The torture chamber of the Japanese Gestapo! I had had personal friends who had killed themselves rather than be taken to that prison. I had had other friends who had died in that place after ten days of questioning and torture. Now I was slated for the Bridge house myself!”

 

“What did I do? I heard the news on Sunday afternoon. I suppose I should have been terrified. And I would have been terrified if I hadn’t had a definite technique for solving my problems. For years, whenever I was worried I had always gone to my typewriter and written down two questions-and the answers to these questions:" 

“1. What am I worrying about?”       

“2. What can I do about it?” 

 

“I used to try to answer those questions without writing them down. But I stopped that years ago. I found that writing down both the questions and the answers clarifies my thinking.  So, that Sunday afternoon, I went directly to my room at the Shanghai Y.M.C.A. and got out my typewriter. 

I wrote: 

1. What am I worrying about? 

“I am afraid I will be thrown into the Bridge house tomorrow morning.”

Then I typed out the second question:     

2. “What can I do about it?”

“I spent hours thinking out and writing down the four courses of action I could take-and what the probable consequence of each action would be.”

 

“1. I can try to explain to the Japanese admiral. But he doesn’t speak English. If I try to explain to him through an interpreter, I may stir him up again. That might mean death, for he is cruel, would rather dump me in the Bridge house than bother talking about it.”

 

“2. I can try to escape. Impossible. They keep track of me all the time. I have to check in and out of my room at the YMCA. If I try to escape, I’ll probably be captured and shot.” 

 

“3. I can stay here in my room and not go near the office again. If I do, the Japanese admiral will be suspicious, will probably send soldiers to get me and throw me into the Bridge-house without giving me a chance to say a word.” 

 

“4. I can go down to the office as usual on Monday morning. If I do, there is a chance that the Japanese admiral may be so busy that he will not think of what I did. Even if he does think of it, he may have cooled off and may not bother me. If this happens, I am all right. Even if he does bother me, I’ll still have a chance to try to explain to him. So, going down to the office as usual on Monday morning, and acting as if nothing had gone wrong gives me two chances to escape the Bridge-house.”

 

“As soon as I thought it all out and decided to accept the fourth plan-to go down to the office as usual on Monday morning-I felt immensely relieved.”

 

“When I entered the office the next morning, the Japanese admiral sat there with a cigarette dangling from his mouth. He glared at me as he always did; and said nothing. Six weeks later-thank God-he went back to Tokyo and my worries were over.” 

 

 “As I have already said, I probably saved my life by sitting down that Sunday afternoon and writing out all the various steps I could take and then writing down the probable consequences of each step and calmly coming to a decision. If I hadn’t done that, I might have floundered and hesitated and done the wrong thing on the spur of the moment. If I hadn’t thought out my problem and come to a decision, I would have been frantic with worry all Sunday afternoon. I wouldn’t have slept that night. I would have gone down to the office Monday morning with a harassed and worried look; and that alone might have aroused the suspicion of the Japanese admiral and spurred him to act.”

 

“Experience has proved to me, time after time, the enormous value of arriving at a decision. It is the failure to arrive at a fixed purpose, the inability to stop going round and round in maddening circles, that drives men to nervous breakdowns and living hells. I find that fifty percent of my worries vanish once I arrive at a clear, definite decision; and another forty per cent usually vanishes once I start to carry out that decision. “

 

“So, I banish about 90% of my worries by taking these four steps:” 

“1. Writing down precisely what I am worrying about.”     

“2. Writing down what I can do about it.”     

“3. Deciding what to do.”       

“4. Starting immediately to carry out that decision.” 

 

Dale Carnegie: “Galen Litchfield became the Far Eastern Director for Starr, Park and Freeman, Inc., representing large insurance and financial interests. This made him one of the most important American businessmen in Asia; and he confesses to me that he owes a large part of his success to this method of analyzing worry and meeting it head-on.” 

 

Dale Carnegie: “Why is his method so superb? Because it is efficient, concrete, and goes directly to the heart of the problem. On top of all that, it is climaxed by the third and indispensable rule: Do something about it.   Unless we carry out our action, all our fact-finding and analysis is whistling upwind-it’s a sheer waste of energy. “ (From Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, pp.37-40.)

 

Elon Musk in 2002 “began his quest to send the first rocket to Mars.” (Space X) The cost of purchasing a Rocket was 55 Million dollars.

 

Elon Musk used First principle thinking to solve this cost problem. 

 

First Principle:

“Identify the problem. Break things down into smaller parts.  Then look at each part individually, each component. Look outside your product category for a part or piece that can be imported. Combine the parts to create something new according to desired outcome. First Principle thinking.” (Story from Darren Hardy)

 

Elon Musk: “What’s a rocket made of?”

 

“Aerospace – grade aluminum alloys, plus some titanium, copper, and carbon fiber.”

“Then I asked, what is the value of those materials on the commodity market? It turned out that the materials cost of a rocket was around two percent of the typical price.” 

 

Step by step he built his own rocket better and cheaper.

 

When evaluating an entire project, the costs may seem like they are set in stone, however, when you break things down into bite-sized pieces, they can be more manageable. 

 

For example: 

Problem: My car makes a grinding sound when braking. 

 

Total solution: replacing brakes, pads, rotors, whole assembly. Cost: $1000. 

 

Individual solution: 

Most times replacing brake pads is sufficient. Cost $200. 

 

Reducing challenges into bite-sized chunks is not only a great recipe for cost reduction; it is a fantastic way to remove friction from your customer experience. 

 

 By asking himself questions he solved his problem and built a new rocket from the ground up.  

 

How do you solve your problems?

 

What steps do you take? 

 

What are the 4 steps experts Galen Litchfield, Dale Carnegie, and Elon Musk use to solve their problems?

 

1)    Calm down. Then clearly write down the problem. Charles Kettering, American inventor, engineer, and businessman said, “A problem well stated is a problem half solved.”

      2) Write down in order “all the facts”.

      3) “Analyze them and interpret them”.

      4) ” Then make a decision and take action.”

 

By following these four steps you will be able to solve your problems.

 

 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations “Tune Up their Business”. Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book “Leadership On A Shoestring Budget” is available everywhere books are sold. If you need a speaker or virtual speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keys To Building Your Best Self by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

What if you are one step away from being your best self?

 

We all appreciate people who are experts at spotting unique gifts and talents in others…no matter how obscure they may seem. Their words are the fuel that helps our “spark” or gifts burn brightly.  

 

When I was a junior at the Juilliard School of music in New York City, my father suggested I take the Dale Carnegie Course in Effective Speaking and Human Relations. My father knew a salesman who had taken the Dale Carnegie sales course and gained amazing skills that helped him sell his products. 

 

Over the next 14 weeks, my classmates and I attended one four-hour session each week.

 

One of the first nights of class our instructor Jack Killmeyer, smiling at us, asked us to stand up, add a smile on our faces and belt out in unison, the lines of “Mary Had A Little Lamb” He led the way and we followed with smiles on our faces belting out the nursery rhyme! He modeled the behavior, to show us how to do it, and we followed. 

 

Did we look and feel ridiculous? Yes…but we all looked and felt the same way. It was a great way to cast aside our fears, and create a consistent baseline for our journey. 

 

As we read the Dale Carnegie books, How to Win Friends and Influence People and How to Stop Worrying and Start Living; we constructed, practiced, and presented our talks in front of the entire class. As we progressed through the course, we saw a transformation within ourselves and in our classmates.

 

Dale Carnegie said, “If you want to be enthusiastic, act enthusiastic.” Our instructor was enthusiastic from the minute we entered his class! It rubbed off on all of us!

 

He said, “If you smile at people, it’s going to make your life easier and it’s going to make your life more enjoyable.” And, “If you really show interest in other people, they’ll warm up to you.”

 

Part of our curriculum was to put together a series of 2-minute talks based upon personal experiences, or something we were excited about. This helped cast aside fears and revealed the passions of each attendee. 

 

Dale Carnegie said when he was just beginning his career, he asked his students to stand and talk about themselves and their problems.

 

Carnegie later said, “Without knowing what I was doing, I stumbled on the best method of conquering fear.”

 

Following our talks, our instructor stood to the side, listened intently, smiled, and afterwards led the applause, and said something positive in critiquing each of us. He said things like “tremendous level of intensity”, “you spoke with passion and energy.”  “Your gestures were animated.” “You were on fire.” (One of the highest compliments.)

 

Our instructor never used a negative word or hinted at criticism. It was all about building your self-esteem and helping you be your best self! Dale Carnegie’s 2nd principle “Give honest sincere appreciation.”

 

Through my journey as a teacher/ coach/ and leader I have continued to take courses, attend seminars, read books by the experts, listen to audio tapes, and watch videos to continue my education and improve my skills so I can help others learn, grow, and improve their skills.

 

How do I do this for my students?

 

By encouraging, inspiring, motivating, and modeling how to do the work, just as my teachers and mentors showed me, by modeling, encouraging, and inspiring me to do the work.

 

My greatest joy as a teacher is to help my students discover their abilities and work towards their goals.

 

Many years ago, I received a call from the mother of a high school student. She said, "My husband's employer recommended you as a violin teacher for my son. I would prefer a man to teach him, but will give you a try. My son is lazy and stupid."

 

I replied, "Please do not talk that way about your son in front of him or to others."

I agreed to teach this young man, provided that she would be encouraging to her son.

 

A young man with multi-colored hair, an earring, and strange looking clothes walked into his first violin lesson. His head was down, and he looked depressed.

 

We began working on scales, an etude, a solo piece, and the orchestra audition materials for the state orchestra auditions. He was a very talented young man and I told him so during our first lesson and all the lessons that followed. The honest sincere words that I spoke to him inspired and motivated him to do his best.

 

When it was time for the next lesson, a completely different young man walked eagerly up my walkway. He was neatly dressed, had his head up and wore a big smile. He took pride in his work and in himself. Each week I saw a transformation in him.

 

It was our fifth week of lessons, our final lesson before the state orchestra auditions. I told him how beautiful his playing was and what a good job he would do on the audition. Preparation makes all the difference! The honest sincere words that I spoke to him made him blossom like a flower.

 

He called me a few days after the audition and said with great pride, "I am the Concertmaster of the orchestra. There were over 40 people trying out and I won first place." He said this with a smile on his face over the phone.

 

I told him how proud of him I was and that I knew he would win because of his hard work and determination. His Mother called and said, "Even though you are a woman, you did a good job with him!"

 

I bit my tongue, but thanked her for the compliment.

 

This young man changed his attitude and worked hard because of the honest sincere praise I gave him at every lesson. He went on to college after he graduated at the top of his high school class.

 

Do you remember a teacher, coach, friend or family member who complimented you? That compliment inspired and motivated you to work harder to do your best!

Have you ever mentored or coached someone and watched him or her succeed? How did you feel when they were successful?

 

I bet you felt proud and happy for their success and you walked a little taller that day!

 

Do you remember a coach or teacher that believed in you and gave you words of praise when you needed it? 

 

Building confidence in others and in ourselves makes all the difference in the world to our success!

 

Zig Ziglar, motivational expert and mentor in his book, "See You at the Top" read the following story as a young salesman. It made a lasting impression on him. A young woman had sung since she was a young girl. She made her musical debut in a church cantata. She had a beautiful voice and a great career was predicted for her. As she grew older, she sang more concerts at local functions. Her family recognized her need for professional voice training.

 

Her family found a well-known singing teacher who pointed out everything she did wrong. As time passed, the young woman grew to admire her teacher and married him. Fewer and fewer concerts came her way as she had lost confidence in her gift of singing. Her teacher and husband had broken her confidence. When he passed away she was no longer singing at all.

 

Several years later she began to date a salesman and she would sometimes hum a tune while she was with him. He said, "Sing some more, Honey. You have the most beautiful voice in all the world".

 

The salesman was not an expert, but he knew what he liked and gave her honest sincere compliments. She gained confidence from the salesman's honest appreciative words and felt her joy of singing return to her. She was asked to sing in a few concerts. Once again with her confidence in hand, she resumed her career and married her salesman.

 

Zig Ziglar said, "She married the "good finder" and enjoyed a successful career. The salesman's praise for her was totally honest, sincere, and much needed. In fact, a sincere compliment is one of the most effective teaching and motivating methods in existence."

 

What is the next step to building your best self?

 

Coach John Wooden in his book, "Coach Wooden's Pyramid of Success Playbook" tells the following story: "When I was a young boy, I was at a gravel pit with my father and a young man. They had a team of horses and were attempting to pull a load up a steep road. The young man driving the horses was loud and abusive. In response, the animals were agitated, worked against each other and couldn't pull the load. With a gentle voice and gentler touch, my Dad calmed the horses and walked them forward with a load."

 

Coach Wooden learned two important lessons that day.

 

1) "Gentleness is a better method of getting cooperation than harshness."

 

2) "A team can accomplish much more when it works together than individuals can when they work alone."

 

Like all living creatures, the horses needed kindness and gentleness and honest sincere appreciation to move the heavy load. Remember this when you are developing others and when you are working on your own self-development!

 

Zig Ziglar shared the following story about a beggar selling pencils in New York. A businessman dropped a dollar into the cup of the beggar and rushed to board the subway train. The businessman suddenly turned back, before entering the train, and went back to the beggar selling the pencils. He took several pencils from the cup. The businessman apologized and explained that in his haste he had neglected to pick up his pencils and hoped the man wouldn't be upset with him. He said, "You are a businessman just like me. You have merchandise to sell and it's fairly priced." The businessman then went to catch the next train.

 

A neatly dressed salesman attended a social function and introduced himself to the businessman. The salesman said, "You probably don't remember me and I don't know your name, but I will never forget you. You are the man who gave me back my self-respect. I was a 'beggar' selling pencils until you came along and told me I was a businessman."

 

Zig Ziglar said, "The greatest good we can do for anyone is not to share our wealth with them, but rather to reveal their own wealth to them. It's astonishing how much talent and ability rests inside a human being." Help others to discover their abilities.

 

Find an expert mentor in your field that will model the skill you want to learn.

What can a mentor do for you?

 

A mentor will model the way for others to follow by listening, observing, connecting, adding value to them, respecting them, empowering others, and instructing them.

 

So, what is your next step to building your best self?

 

Here are a few steps to try.

 

1)   Each morning begin with a positive attitude, smile, and start your day by saying positive motivational things to yourself.

 

2)   Choose to surround yourself with people that help you stretch mentally to be your best self.

 

3)   Give an honest and sincere compliment every day to inspire, motivate, and encourage someone else each day. How does the other person look after you make this honest sincere compliment? How do you feel after making this honest sincere compliment to someone else?

 

4)   Sign up to take courses, attend seminars, read books, listen to audio tapes, watch videos to continue your education and improve your skills in your field.

 

5)   Find an expert mentor in your field to model, encourage, inspire, and help you gain new skills.

 

Be like the businessman who told the "beggar selling pencils", "You are a businessman just like me. You have merchandise to sell and it's fairly priced." Encouraging words changed the way the beggar saw himself.

 

Zig Ziglar, motivational expert and author said, "A sincere compliment is one of the most effective teaching and motivating methods in existence."

 

Mary Kay Ash, an American business woman and founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics said, “Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, ‘Make me feel important’. Never forget this message when working with people.” 

What next step will you take, to build your best self?

 

 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Business". Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available everywhere books are sold. If you need a virtual speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com