The Structure of Good Character by Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM

As a child did you ever break a window or a toy of someone else’s by accident? Did you take responsibility for your actions?

When my kids were young, I noticed a hole the size of a small fist, suddenly appearing in the wall of our hallway. The hole in the wall was covered by a piece of paper the same color as the paint on the wall. When the children arrived home from school I asked, “Who is responsible for the hole, the fist through the wall?”

Each child pointed to the other. I then asked for each child to make a fist to see who had put it through the wall. When it was determined which child had done the damage, we all went to the hardware store to buy the materials to fix the wall together.

My children quickly realized that it was better to "fess up" when they made a mistake instead of waiting for my husband or I to find out.

I read a story about Coach Wooden, which made a lasting impression on me. Coach Wooden had gone with his assistant Coach with a scholarship in his pocket, to visit a top high school athlete and his Mother. During the interview the high school athlete was disrespectful to his Mother. The assistant Coach looked at Coach Wooden, knowing the scholarship offer was in Coach Wooden’s pocket. They left the athlete and his Mother with out making an offer.

Coach Wooden said, “If he was disrespectful to his Mother he would be disrespectful to me!”

A person of character makes good decisions. Your character is like a seat belt. When you have character, like a seat belt, it pulls you back, so you don’t go out the window. You think before you speak!

Bob Costas, NBC Sportscaster observed, “John Wooden is a man of integrity and always remained true to what he believed.”

Bob Costas asked him, “How do you instill character qualities in the young people you teach and coach?”

Coach Wooden replied, “I required my players and students to treat everybody with respect, whether it be the custodian or the President of the University. I told them I expected them to always be considerate of others, and I never permitted the use of profanity.”

I was in a store recently where the manager of the store was yelling at an employee in front of the customers. On our journey through life, praise should be done in public and correcting someone should be done in private. Men and women of character should “pause” and think before they speak. They should respond not react to a situation.

A person of character owns up to their mistakes. When they make a mistake they admit it and apologize for it immediately! When you make a mistake and yell at an employee in public like this manager did at the store, an apology is in order.

President Thomas Jefferson said it best. “If you have to eat crow, eat it while it’s young and tender.”

What are the 3 traits you want to develop to be a person of good character?

1) A person of good character is honest, has integrity, is dependable, has discipline over their emotions, and is responsible and accountable.

2) A person of character leads by example and thinks before he or she acts. They are willing to “pause” and count to “10 or 20” and think through the matter before responding.

Coach John Wooden said, “The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.”

3) When you make a mistake be willing to fess up and apologize. President Thomas Jefferson said it best. “If you have to eat crow, eat it while it’s young and tender.”

By following the three suggestions above you will develop good character too and be a role model to someone else!

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, John Maxwell Team Member, Certified World Class Speaking Coach, sought after speaker, business owner, teacher, researcher, and concert artist. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Businesses". Her innovative observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. She writes a monthly newsletter "Madeline's Monthly article & Musical Tips Blog" and a monthly radio show "Madeline's One Minute Musical Radio Show". Her book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available on Amazon or Kindle. Contact Madeline Frank for your next speaking engagement at mfrankviola@gmail.com

Choosing Discipline by Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM

Choosing discipline gives you the freedom to do your best and be your best self.

One of my favorite musical instruments is the bagpipe. Many years ago on a bright beautiful sunny day, my family and I heard a gorgeous version of Amazing Grace played by a bagpiper on shore, as our family was departing Halifax, Nova Scotia by ship.  We continued to hear Amazing Grace as it carried over 3 miles away from shore.

In newspapers around the world it was announced on August 22, 2016 that a 61-year-old bagpiper had died from “hypersensitivity pneumonitis- bagpipe lung”. It was caused by bacteria from “the moist environment” in his bagpipes which developed into mold and fungi. For the prior seven years he suffered “shortness of breath, a dry cough”, and could “walk only about 65 feet”. 

 Disinfecting every part of his bagpipe everyday would have prevented his death. It’s all about "choosing discipline"!

This is a wake up call for all musicians, bagpipers, woodwind players, and brass players to clean their instrument thoroughly daily. “ Cleanliness is next to godliness”

It’s all involved with discipline. The discipline of preparation: Two friends of mine are Firemen. They have their fire equipment at the ready, so within minutes they are ready for.  a fire. They practice for fires in gear with their air pack to be ready within 90 seconds. Once you develop discipline it becomes part of you, a positive good habit.

True disciple gives you the freedom to do your best and be your best self, allowing yourself to achieve success. For example: cleaning up after your self and keeping your work place organized.  

My husband and I went to a local restaurant to grab a quick lunch. The waitress, who we had never seen before, brought our food out and took an extra 5 minutes to bring out the ketchup after our burgers had been served. By the time she finally brought the ketchup the burger was cold. Shortly after, we were in a rush to get back to work. The restaurant was almost empty, and we had to look for the waitress to get the bill.  This waitress won’t last long! She does not have the discipline for the job!

In our lives, we need to be disciplined in both our mind and in our body to keep free of mental clutter and /or physical clutter.

 Just like you brush your teeth twice a day to cut down on bacteria that feed over your body and we bathe everyday. This is all about our daily discipline.  

As a child of 8, I remember my violin teacher, Mr. William Whitson teaching me to wash my hands with soap and water before playing my violin. After practicing Mr. Whitson taught me to wipe my violin with a clean cotton cloth to remove the rosin from all surfaces of the violin, including the strings, fingerboard, and bridge. Rosin is pinesap from a tree that in its clean state is rubbed onto the hair of the violin bow to grip the strings making them speak. Mr. Whitson also had me wipe the rosin off the wood part of my bow. He wanted to protect the instrument from harm from the sticky rosin. He taught each of his students the discipline of taking care of their instruments. It’s all about "choosing discipline".

Many years ago when I was a student in New York City, I loaned out my violin to a friend when her instrument was being repaired. When she brought my violin back after a week, it was covered with sticky rosin all over it! It took me several hours to clean up my violin. My ex- friend had not been taught the discipline of taking care of her violin. She should have brought my violin back to me cleaner then when I had given it to her!

For over 30 years, I have taught my string students, the discipline of cleaning their instruments.

Part of discipline is teaching our kids to wash their hands and dry them after using the bathroom. Harvard Medical School says, “In studies, washing hands with soap and water for 30 seconds --bacterial counts drop by close to 99.9%. They also say, “It takes about 20 seconds to dry your hands well if you're using paper or cloth towels. It’s all about training and discipline!

What new discipline will you start today?

Take the one-day challenge!

Below are five suggestions: Try one of them!

    1)   You have a large pile of papers on your desk.  Put the papers in order, file the informational documents in the right folders, and pay the bills according to the due dates on them.

    2)  Right after cooking dinner, put the pots and pans in the sink to soak with soap and warm water. This way you can clean up quickly and easily after you eat.

    3)  Eat one scoop of ice cream instead of two.

    4) Stop smoking cigarettes for one day.

    5)  As you run out of certain foods in your refrigerator, write down each food needed on a pad of paper. Then take your list to the grocery store.  

Remember discipline is following through on some goal you have and not finding excuses to not finish the task. Don’t procrastinate. To be disciplined you have to take the first step. Don’t just talk about it. Do it. Take your first step. Then take your second step and follow through till you complete what you started.

It’s all about "Choosing Discipline"!

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, John Maxwell Team Member, Certified World Class Speaking Coach, sought after speaker, business owner, teacher, researcher, and concert artist. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Businesses". Her innovative observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. She writes a monthly newsletter "Madeline's Monthly article & Musical Tips Blog" and a monthly radio show "Madeline's One Minute Musical Radio Show". Her book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available on Amazon or Kindle. Contact Madeline Frank for your next speaking engagement at mfrankviola@gmail.com

"Think carefully Before You Open Your Mouth" by Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM

Have you ever spoken to someone without thinking? Did you wish you could take the words back? That's why you need to think carefully before you open your mouth!

Under cover of darkness, 10-year-old Louis and his family climbed aboard a ship in the Baltic Sea, heading to America. 

They were fleeing pogroms, rape, looting, and murder, instituted under the regime of Russian Czar Nicholas the II in the early 20th century. 

Louis and his family fled with just the clothes on their backs. They came to America, the land of opportunity where you have the right to religious freedom to worship as you choose. 

Louis did not finish elementary school in America. He immediately had to go to work to help support his family. He worked hard, learned to speak perfect English, became well read, and wrote to relatives all over the world to see how they were doing every month.

I know so much about this young man, Louis Charles Frank, because he was my Grandfather. He used to say to his grandchildren in his deep voice; “I came from Russia in a covered wagon.” Of course Grandfather was teasing us as he came to America by ship. Grandfather enjoyed taking us to the park to feed the ducks and geese and always had a ready supply of bread.

One day I was visiting my Grandfather at his real-estate office when an associate came in and said something negative about someone else in Grandfather’s presence.

My Grandfather replied, “He speaks well of you!”

The man paused and said, "You are right, Louis. I need to think about what I'm going to say before I open my mouth."

My grandfather built a solid and successful business upon the belief that if you spoke well of others, they would speak well of you.

I always enjoyed visiting with my Grandfather; he always saw the good in others. He did not engage in gossip, and did not tolerate it! He believed in making it easier for people to see the positive and good in others.

“As a child I listened to Grandfather and did not engage in gossip and did not tolerate it either.”

 Grandfather lived by 3 rules:

1) Be judicious about what you say. Use good judgment when you talk to others. 

2) Say something nice.

3) Give everyone a sincere compliment every day. 

Grandfather taught me to “Think carefully before I opened my mouth.”

  

 Fred Smith, Sr., leadership guru, the mentor of   Zig Ziglar and Dr. John Maxwell shares the following story in his article, “Breakfast with Fred”:

Fred said, “Years ago I was asked to be interim music director for a small church in suburban Nashville.” After agreeing “the pastor asked me to sign a covenant stating I would not criticize anyone while I was there. I agreed to do it almost as an experiment, for it was so contrary to my general disposition.  After a few months I realized I never felt more community than I did there.  As I look back, I realize it was the fact of refusing to say anything negative about anyone that made the difference.  I could face any person there with complete freedom because I had never said a hurtful word about anyone.”

Fred Smith, Sr. learned to “Think carefully before he opened his mouth.”

Mark Twain said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” 

At 16, I played in my first master class on the violin. A master class is when a musical artist, an expert, comes in and listens to exceptional students play and makes suggestions to improve the musician’s performance. The master class was for two hours.

 I was scared out of my wits. Mr. G, the expert who gave the class, demoralized ever person that played for him, by saying nasty things to each performer taking away their dreams and hopes for the future. It took me many months to get over Mr. G.

 Many years latter I was asked

to give master classes in China, Australia, New Zealand and throughout the U.S. I first have the talented students play the piece through , lead the audience in applause, then give the student playing an honest sincere compliment, and then focus on one thing that they can immediately do to make the piece better!

Students improved on the spot! After each master class, while I was cleaning and putting away my instrument, a line formed of students who had not performed in the master class wanting help with their piece. I spent a few minutes with each student giving suggestions. 

Remember Mary Poppins “A spoon fool of sugar makes the medicine go down.” It really does! Mary Poppins understood about “thinking carefully before she opened her mouth .”

  Dr. Maxwell Maltz“, plastic surgeon, said, “it requires a minimum of about 21 days for an old mental image to dissolve and a new one to jell.”  He wrote in 1960 “Psycho Cybernetics” on behavioral change and sold over 30 million books and audio books.

So how can you learn to “think carefully before you open your mouth”? Take your seven Day Challenge”!

1) “Every day pay an honest compliment to each of three different persons. Keep a record of those to whom you pay your three complements. And observe what they say in response to your compliment.” Dr. George W. Crane

2) “Within the first 30 seconds of a conversation, say something encouraging to the other person.” Dr. John C. Maxwell

3) Every evening think up 3 “honest compliments”.

By following these three rules the world around you will change for the better in 7 Days! And you will learn to "think carefully before you open your mouth"!

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, John Maxwell Team Member, Certified World Class Speaking Coach, sought after speaker, business owner, teacher, researcher, and concert artist. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Businesses". Her innovative observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. She writes a monthly newsletter "Madeline's Monthly article & Musical Tips Blog" and a monthly radio show "Madeline's One Minute Musical Radio Show". Her book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available on Amazon or Kindle. Contact Madeline Frank for your next speaking engagement at mfrankviola@gmail.com