Life Lessons from General Colin Powell by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

Colin Powell was born in Harlem, New York on April 5, 1937 to Jamaican immigrants Maud Ariel McKoy Powell and Luther Theophilus Powell. He was raised in the South Bronx and attended the New York Public Schools. He had an older sister.

 

Early years:

In 1950, the South Bronx during post war baby boom years “was the home of a large, thriving,” and vibrant community of mainly Jewish residence. There were synagogues, kosher bakeries, kosher butchers, and a baby equipment store called Sickser’s. There slogan was “Everything for the Baby”.

 

Mr. Sickser, with the assistance of his son in law Lou Kirshner, “ran a business out of the needs of the rapidly expanding child care population.” Business at Sickser’s was so busy on one beautiful spring day that Mr. Sickser and his son-in-law were unable to handle all their customers. They needed help. “Mr. Sickser ran out of the store and stopped the first youth he spotted on the street.”

 

"Young man," he panted, "how would you like to make a little extra money? I need some help in the store. You want to work a little?"

“The tall, lanky African-American young man flashed a toothy smile back. "Yes, sir, I'd like some work."

 

"Well then, let's get started." The young man, Colin Powell, "followed his new employer into the store.”

“Mr. Sickser was immediately impressed with his good manners and demeanor. As the days went by and he came again and again to lend his help, Mr. Sickser became increasingly impressed with the youth's diligence, punctuality and readiness to learn. Eventually Mr. Sickser made him a regular employee at the store. It was gratifying to find an employee with an almost soldier-like willingness to perform even the most menial of tasks, and to perform them well.”

Colin Powell from the age of 13 until his sophomore year in college worked “from 12-15 hours a week, at 50 to 75 cents an hour.”

 “Colin would later recall that Sickser's offered the one stable point in his life those days.”

He appreciated “the steady employment” and “the friendly atmosphere Mr. Sickser's store offered. Mr. Sickser learned in time about their helper's Jamaican origins, and he in turn picked up a good deal of Yiddish. In time young Colin was able to converse fairly well with his employers, and more importantly, with a number of the Jewish customers whose English was not fluent.” (Warren Boroson, August 25, 2011, A (Jewish) Bronx Tale, Jewish Standard. Times)

 

College:

Colin Powell at 17, continued to work part time at Sickser’s and began his first semester at City College of New York.  “He fit in just fine with his, for the most part Jewish, classmates.” 

“The engineering and later geology courses he chose proved quite challenging.”  

Collin Powell said, “It was only once I was in college, about six months into college when I found something that I liked, and that was ROTC, Reserve Officer Training Corps in the military. And I not only liked it, but I was pretty good at it. That's what you really have to look for in life, something that you like, and something that you think you're pretty good at. And if you can put those two things together, then you're on the right track, and just drive on.”

 

When he “shifted his study focus to ROTC he became a straight A student.” (Colin Powell Wikipedia)

 

Colin Powell said, “I became a leader almost immediately. Race, color, background, income meant nothing. [We] would go to the limit for each other and for the group.” 

 

In 1958, he earned his Bachelor of Science in geology at City College of New York. “He held the distinction of being the first chairman to have attained his commission through the ROTC.” 

 

In 1971, Colin Powell graduated with an MBA at George Washington University.

and in 1990 he received an honorary doctor of public service. (Colin Powell Wikipedia)

 

Army Career:

In 1958, Colin Powell began active duty as an army second lieutenant. 

“The army had been desegregated just a few years earlier, but Powell refused to let racists and bigots “rent space in [my] head,” as he put it in a TV One television network interview in 2004. “I’ve never let my color or racism be a problem for me,” Powell explained. “Let it be a problem for the racists, never for me, because if you let it become your problem, then you’re weakened, and you start to doubt yourself.” 

 

"That’s not to say he never got angry. (He remembers peeling out of the parking lot of an Alabama fast-food restaurant after being refused service at the drive-up window, for example.) His style, however, was to focus on solutions.”

 

Colin Powell married Alma Vivian Johnson, audiologist, on August 25, 1962. They had three children. 

 

“When he and his new bride were assigned to live at Fort Bragg in North Carolina, Powell was unable to find suitable housing and contemplated sending his wife, who was pregnant with their first child, back to her parents’ house in Birmingham. An army pal insisted they stay with his family – despite the neighbors’ consternation at a black couple living with a white family – and Powell and his wife slept in kid-size bunk beds. For Powell, success has always been about coupling a big-picture focus with a drive to prove his opponents wrong by sticking it out and doing his best. “By doing my best every day, day after day, year after year,” he writes, “I finally got to the top.”

 

He served “two tours of duty in Vietnam.” He “rose to the top ranks of the U.S. military. In 1989, under President George Bush, Colin Powell was sworn in as the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.”

 “In 1993, two years after he guided the American victory over Iraq in the Gulf War, Colin Powell visited the Holy Land. Upon meeting Israel's Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir in Jerusalem, he greeted the Israeli with the words Men kent reden Yiddish — "We can speak Yiddish."  (Warren Boroson, August 25, 2011, A (Jewish) Bronx Tale, Jewish Standard. Times)

 

“Shot Callers and Brawlers”

“When he rose in the ranks, working under Presidents Ronald Reagan, George Bush, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush, Powell never hesitated to give his honest input, even if it ruffled feathers. “I’ve said to the president, ‘You don’t pay me to give you happy talk, you pay me to tell you what I think." 

“Powell revealed in an interview with teenink.com, during which he encouraged young people to stand up for their beliefs and speak their minds.”

 

“In 1990, Powell was at a high-level meeting to plan a response to Saddam Hussein’s march into Kuwait. As the meeting wound down, Powell felt a key question had been sidestepped: would the United States be willing to go to war to liberate Kuwait? Although he knew the question might be premature and should not technically come from him, he remembered his repugnance for leaders who let the Vietnam War go on without pressing political leaders for clear objectives. He brought up the issue and was greeted by a palpable chill. Later, then Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney rebuked him for the broach of protocol. Still, Powell remained unapologetic. “

 

“I’ve told this to many bosses over the years,” Powell told teenink.com . “If you don’t want me to tell you what I think, then you need to find somebody else, because if you ask me a question, I’m going to answer it, and it’s kind of irrelevant to me whether you like the answer.” 

 

“According to Powell, debates exist in all healthy organizations. “We’re supposed to sharpen the edges of debate, we’re supposed to argue with each other, we’re supposed to examine issues fully and without filters to help the president with issues,” he says. “So, if Don Rumsfeld comes from one point of view and I come from another and the vice president does and the director of Central Intelligence does, and we argue and debate and fight about it, this doesn’t mean the place is falling apart; it means it’s working.”

 

 After the boss has made a decision, however, Powell considers it imperative to support it fully, no matter what his personal opinion might be. “Once a decision has been made,” he said in his autobiography, “the debate ends.” 

 

“Powell demands the same kind of honesty from his own subordinates. As a general, for example, he always asked his commanders to speak up, share bad news quickly and ask questions if his guidance seemed unclear, even if that meant asking continued questions after repeated explanations. “The worst thing,” he wrote in his autobiography, “was for subordinates to labor in ignorance in order to conceal their confusion and wind up doing the wrong thing.”

 

“Powell can be as tough as they come, but those who’ve worked with him point out that he is also incredibly personable and engaging. “A friend of mine was an ambassador to Amman, and when he came back from his tour of duty, there was a note on his desk from Powell, thanking him for everything he’d done,” says General Anthony Zinni, USMC (ret.), who served as Powell’s special envoy to the Middle East from November 2002 to March 2003. “That had never happened before,” Zinni says. “He never had the secretary of state come down and shake his hand.” (Mission Critical: Leadership Lessons from Colin Powell by SellingPower .com/7045) 

 

“From the Front Lines”

“Leadership can be lonely, but Powell never hid behind his lofty titles and trappings of power. In fact, he will go out of his way to eliminate the invisible lines of power that can cut leaders off from vital information. “In the military, when you become a four-star general, people will do anything you even suggest you want. If you say a wall looks a little dirty, by sundown, it’s painted. I had to work at breaking down that deference to hear from my people,” Powell said in Oren Harari’s Leadership Secrets of Colin Powell.” (McGraw-Hill, 2002). 

 

“Over the years Powell developed ways of making himself available to anyone who might want to share a problem or idea with him. During his army command, he made a habit of walking a fixed route at the same time each day. Everyone keeps an eye on the boss and his habits, and soldiers quickly learned to take advantage of this valuable face time. As chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Powell outright encouraged employees to enter and leave his office “without exaggerated ceremony.” He kept round tables in his office and conference rooms, so no one would ever occupy the head seat. His desk was colossal in size, but when people entered his office, he was quick to come out from behind it for a handshake, and he was known for conducting discussions in a small alcove adjoining his office.”

 

“Behind these tactics is Powell’s desire to keep one ear to the ground. “He was always very interested to hear from people on the front line,” Zinni says. “He talked to me every day and called me anytime there was a policy or strategic decision being made at the senior levels. He wants the views from the people who are going to execute those decisions. That’s one thing everyone loves about him – that ability to bring subordinates in and involve them.” 

 “And with Powell, it’s genuine,” Zinni adds. “It’s not a put-on, and it’s not forced. He likes to seek people out at every level and always demonstrates his appreciation for what they do and for what they have to say.”

 

“Powell believes that knowing the opinions of those at the bottom will better inform the decisions made by those at the top. By constantly taking the pulse of the organization from head to toe, Powell feels confident in backing his team to the hilt, even if it puts him in a tight spot. During Operation Desert Storm, General Norman Schwarzkopf told Powell he needed a few extra days before the agreed-upon date to start the ground campaign. The president was anxious to get the campaign underway, but Powell got his approval to wait a few days. Then Schwarzkopf made a second request for more time, citing issues with the weather.”

 

“Powell, under no small amount of pressure himself, told Schwarzkopf the delays were getting difficult to explain to the higher-ups. Schwarzkopf exploded that Powell didn’t understand his problems and didn’t care about the lives of the soldiers.”

 “That did it,” Powell told PBS’s Frontline in 1996. “I exploded and started shouting back at him. And we got into a pretty good row. But then we have the utmost respect and affection for each other. I think the world of Norm. And we knew we’d better stop talking. So, I said, ‘Look, Norm, we’ve got a problem. We’ll work our way through.’” Schwarzkopf confessed that the pressure was building. “I think I’m losing it,” he said. “I feel like my head’s in a vise.” 

General Colin Powell, “You’re not losing it. You have our total confidence, but you’ve got a problem. We’ll work our way through this problem. You know at the end of the day, I will carry your message forward. You’re the guy in the field.” 

 

“For Powell, the exchange was an exercise in an old lesson he learned watching two lawyers going at it – the lawyer who won the case later attributed his success not to the strength of his argument, but to the fact that the opponent let his ego get in the way. “Never let your ego get so close to your position that you lose your case and your ego at the same time,” Powell said at a speech at the fifth-annual Information Privacy Forum sponsored by InfoUSA in Aspen, CO. Powell took Schwarzkopf’s request to Cheney. “I told him, ‘We’ve got to wait a little while,’” Powell said. Half an hour later, the weather cleared, and Schwarzkopf was able to start the ground campaign with no further delays. “

 

“Powell, who retired from his position as secretary of state on November 15, 2004, continued to give speeches and promote the charity he founded in 1997, America’s Promise, with the objective of improving resources and education for children. He is not a man who likes to look back at turning points, greatest achievements or his most memorable moments. It’s no surprise that if he does have a definition of success, it’s wrapped up in the people who give their all for him, just as he gives his all in the work he does on behalf of the nation. As he told the Academy of Achievement: “No medal, no nice introduction, no awards could substitute for the knowledge I have that I’m reasonably well respected by my fellow soldiers. If I didn’t have that, I would have considered this to be a busted career.” (Mission Critical: Leadership Lessons from Colin Powell by SellingPower .com/7045) 

 

Secretary of State Colin L. Powell’s Thirteen Rules of Leadership (Oct. 18, 2021) 1937-2021

"As we reflect on former Secretary of State Colin Powell’s legacy, we are reminded of his thirteen rules of leadership which have guided so many of our colleagues and principals. We are grateful for his love of the State Department and his legacy that we still feel in the workplace. "

 

Secretary Powell’s 13 Rules:

1. “ It ain’t as bad as you think! It will look better in the morning." 

2.  "Get mad then get over it."

3.  "Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it."

4. " It can be done."

5. "Be careful what you choose. You may get it." 

6. "Don’t let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision." 

7.  " You can’t make someone else’s choices. You shouldn’t let someone else make yours." 

8.  "Check small things."

9.  "Share credit."

10. "Remain calm. Be kind."

11. " Have a vision. Be demanding." 

12. "Don’t take counsel of your fears or naysayers."

13. " Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier."

 

General Colin Powell died on October 18, 2021. He was "an American statesman, diplomat, and army officer who was the 65th United States secretary of state from 2001 to 2005. He was the first African-American to hold the office. He was the 15th national security advisor from 1987 to 1989, and the 12th chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff from 1989 to 1993.” 

  

 General Colin Powell “whose decades long career repeatedly made history and who was for years the Republican statesman, often discussed his leadership philosophy, famously saying Leadership is solving problems.”  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Discipline: To Separate Yourself from the Masses by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

Darren Hardy, mentor, speaker, and author shared the following story: In Isaiah Thomas' first season with the Boston Celtics in 2016, he met legend Kobe Bryant, in his last season with Los Angeles Lakers. "Isaiah had a once in a lifetime opportunity to ask a question to Kobe Bryant."

 

He asked Kobe Bryant, “How did you lock in your whole career, eliminate distractions, eliminate everything that could take your focus away from your ultimate goal?”

 

Kobe replied, “without thinking or blinking”. “You know how a lion, when he’s hunting for food, there’s probably a hundred thousand little insects crawling all over him. It’s all over his body, his eyes. The lion never lets these pesky distractions take his eyes off the prize, his food. Because if he takes his eyes off his food, he might not eat for six months, and his pride might starve to death.”

 

Kobe continued, “for the media, the outsiders, they are saying, I can’t do this. They’re not in the gym with me at 4am. They’re not with me when I’m putting in the work, so I don’t listen to anything they say. No matter how bad or good it is, I’m focused on one prize and that is being the best player to ever play the game, and winning a championship for my team.”

 

Isaiah, "what he said shook me. After that conversation, everything changed for me. My focus changed and my energy was different after that conversation.” 

 

Isaiah Thomas is “five nine, a hundred and eighty-five pounds. He went from averaging 16.4 points per game with a 22% shooting percentage to over 30 points per game and a 43% shooting percentage the very next year.”

 

 Kobe was saying, “As you are running the race for your life’s success, your goal, your family don’t let name callers, bugs in your face, expressions of jealousy derail you and stop you from winning. Stay focused on the race and do not let anyone or anything (bugs all over your body) stop you!”  (Kobe Bryant coached Isaiah Thomas in texts, telephone calls and watching game videos together helping him become a better player. Kobe helped other players too!)

Discipline teaches work ethics: 

It’s all involved with discipline.

 

The discipline of preparation:

I have two friends that are Firemen. They have their fire equipment at the ready, so within minutes they are ready for a fire. They practice for fires in gear with their air pack to be ready within 90 seconds. Once you develop discipline it becomes part of you, a positive good habit.

 

No matter if the firefighters are exhausted after extinguishing a large fire, the hoses are loaded back onto the apparatus the same way…every time. They need to know where everything is at when the tones drop at 3 am. 

Perfect.  True discipline gives you the freedom to do your best and be your best self, allowing yourself to achieve success. For example: cleaning up after yourself and keeping your work place organized.  

 

As you journey through life there will be many obstacles, boulders, and distractions in your way. Name them and they will lose power!  There will be pain and suffering along the way. These events will make you stronger and help you to learn and grow.

 

Kobe Bryant said, “I have nothing in common with lazy people who blame others for their lack of success. Great things come from hard work and perseverance. No excuses.” (His “relentless work ethic.”) Kobe began work at 4am every morning. That’s discipline. 

 Daily Discipline:

 

 In our lives, we need to be disciplined in both our mind and in our body to keep free of mental clutter and /or physical clutter.

 Just like you brush your teeth twice a day to cut down on bacteria that feed over your body and we bathe every day. This is all about our daily discipline.  

 

Part of discipline is teaching our kids to wash their hands and dry them after using the bathroom. Harvard Medical School says, “In studies, washing hands with soap and water for 30 seconds --bacterial counts drop by close to 99.9%. They also say, “It takes about 20 seconds to dry your hands well if you're using paper or cloth towels. It’s all about training and discipline!”

 

How to teach discipline to children! “The do it now moto”:

Instead of being bored lazy children give them chores and teach them discipline.

 

As a young child I learned the value of hard work from my parents, Robert J Frank, the first college graduate of his family who then went on to become a surgeon. Dad first worked as a waiter at a restaurant near the University of Virginia to pay for college. Later he was an assistant to his Professor of Physics teaching classes at the university. My Momma, Romayne Leader Frank, worked as a lifeguard and model to put her through college at the University of Michigan. After marrying Dad, she finished her education at the University of Virginia earning a teacher’s degree. Later Momma worked at Sears and Roebucks as a sales person and on the side wrote political speeches for politicians at $50 a speech to pay for Dad’s residency and internship in medicine. A married woman in those days was not allowed to teach school.

 

 As I was growing up my Dad’s patients were fisherman and farmers who paid for Dad’s services with fish and vegetables. Money was hard to come by. We always had a garden in the back yard growing vegetables and learned to till the soil with rakes, plant seeds, pull weeds, and pick the crops for meals. As a child every week, my parents gave me a “list of chores” to do, kitchen clean up, mowing the lawn, trimming the bushes, and taking care of my younger siblings. My parents said as a member of this family you will do these chores “now”! There were no excuses. The work had to be done immediately!

“Earning things instead of being given them.”

 

Age appropriate chores help build discipline and can allow the child to realize a sense of accomplishment.

 

 What did I learn from the discipline of doing these chores?  “Their do it now” principle!

 

Whether it was washing dishes, mowing the lawn, taking care of my siblings,  doing a homework assignment that was due in a week- my parents’ motto was “Do it now!” Do not wait! You will be busy later.

 

These chores gave me the discipline for my future. When I went to college and was given an assignment due a few days after, I would do the assignment immediately! Later when something needed immediate attention, like a door knob would be falling off, I would immediately repair it! Whatever needed to be done I would do it “immediately”, remembering my parents’ motto, “Do it now!” These chores taught me to be responsible, accountable, respectful to others, and appreciative of any kindness given.

 

 How did I thank my parents for teaching me to be disciplined and responsible?

 

By sharing their life lessons with others, by writing articles, and radio shows sharing their life lessons with others.

 

Teaching the Discipline of Hard Work:

 

Meredith Lynn MacRae, actress, credits her parents’ singer/actor, Gordon MacRae and actress, Sheila MacRae “with instilling a proper work ethic in her and for keeping her feet on the ground.”

 

She said, “We lived in a modest home in the San Fernando Valley instead of the fashionable Beverly Hills, which the family could have afforded. Mom and Dad didn’t want us to feel superior to the other kids. I had to earn the things I wanted, all the way from dolls to party gowns, by doing chores around the house and taking care of my younger sister and brothers. Lots of kids in my circle automatically got a car when they were 16. Not me. Dad said he would get me a car when I got straight A’s two years in a row in school. I slaved away and finally made it. I got the car with the warning that if I didn’t continue with straight A’s, it would be taken away.”

 

Doing chores, working for the things you want, brings discipline to your life and teaches you responsibility and accountability:

The chores Meredith Lynn MacRae’s parents gave her to do, instilled “a proper work ethic” for her future. These are the most valuable lessons a parent can give you.

Experts have said, “If she or he had not been spoiled to death, he or she might have turned out differently!”

 Chores taught Meredith Lynn MacRae and me to be willing to work hard to make our futures a certainty.

 

Do you remember the friends you had in high school who were given a car with no expectations of responsibility vs those friends who had to work for their car?

 

I'm sure you noticed the same difference that I did, regarding the level of care and appreciation they had for their vehicles.

 

When my kids were that age and a classmate was given a car, they got in trouble. The kids that had to work for the car appreciated it!

 

When you don't earn the things you want, you don't appreciate them.

 

Doing chores as a child teaches children to be accountable, responsible, and disciplined. This also builds a "proper work ethic" for their future.

 Zig Ziglar, motivational speaker and author, was the tenth of twelve children. He was born in "LA," (that's lower Alabama), and raised in Yazoo City, Mississippi. His Mom had a fifth-grade education, and his father died when he was 5 years old during the Depression.

 Zig said, "mom was a wise woman. We were all hard workers, because we had three milk cows and a large garden, and we survived despite all the difficulties." As a child Zig Ziglar's chore was to weed their big garden. When he told his Mom, he was done weeding the garden she would check to see how it was done. His Mother said, "For someone else's boy the job was done alright but for my boy you can do a better job!" He went and weeded that garden again and she rechecked it!

 Ziglar said, "We all experienced a wonderful childhood."

 

Ziglar said: "Well, first of all, my mother was a very wise woman, despite her limited education. She taught us with (one) sentence sermonettes. She taught us, 'Tell the truth/Tell it ever/Cost us what it will/For he who hides the wrong he did/Does the wrong thing still,' and 'When a task is once begun/You leave it not until it's done/And be a matter great or small/You do it well or not at all.' "Ziglar agreed that this was poetry. "She was a very wise, very disciplined, very loving lady, and those Biblical principles, that is what they are, is what we were raised on."

 

Dr. John Maxwell, #1 leadership guru, coach, and one of my mentors says, as a child he was given a list of chores to do at the beginning of the week.

 

If he had not finished his chores, he would not be allowed to go to the restaurant or the movies with his family during the weekends. Instead he would stay at home and finish his chores. He learned after that to do his chores on time.

 

What is the greatest gift you can give your children?

The greatest gift you can give your children is to teach them a good work ethic by giving them chores to do to earn the things they want and need.

Chores taught us how to work hard, to be accountable, responsible, and respectful, giving us a good foundation for our future.

 What’s the secret to the “Surefire Way to Reach your Potential”?

Discipline with laser-like focus!

 

What new discipline will you start today? 

 

Take the one-day challenge!

 

Below are five suggestions: Try one of them!

 

    1)   You have a large pile of papers on your desk.  Put the papers in order, file the informational documents in the right folders, and pay the bills according to the due dates on them. 

    2)  Right after cooking dinner, put the pots and pans in the sink to soak with soap and warm water. This way you can clean up quickly and easily after you eat.

 

    3)  Eat one scoop of ice cream instead of two. 

 

    4) Stop smoking cigarettes for one day.

 

    5)  As you run out of certain foods in your refrigerator, write down each food needed on a pad of paper. Then take your list to the grocery store.  

 

 Remember discipline is following through on some goal you have and not finding excuses to not finish the task. Don’t procrastinate. To be disciplined you have to take the first step. Don’t just talk about it. Do it. Take your first step. Then take your second step and follow through till you complete what you started. 

 

 It’s all about "Choosing Discipline"!

 

 

 Coach Nick Saban’s “Nothing Speech”

 

“If you wake up in the morning and you feel entitled, what would that get you?'"

 “The crowd and his cohosts roared back, "NOTHING!”

“Saban started to feel a bit of his Monday morning meeting energy.” "If you think somebody owes you something, what would you get? " "NOTHING!" "If you lose your discipline and your work ethic, what would that get you?

"NOTHING!"

 

"If you fail to prepare and pay attention to detail, what would that get you?"

 

"NOTHING1"

"So, nothing is more important than staying focused on being the best you can be no matter what you choose to do. “ Saban continued, making the point that expectations and reputations when the job was half finished amounted to nothing.”

 Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher,  concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Business". Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available everywhere books are sold. 

Contact Madeline Frank for your next live or zoom speaking engagement at mfrankviola@gmail.com

 

 

 

Helping Your Adult Child Navigate Shark Infested Waters! by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

 Recently while traveling by airplane, I saw a fascinating documentary adventure from 2022 called Kekoa. It was 29 minutes and it was about two brothers growing up in rural Vermont building tree houses and other things. 

When Jamison Witbeck graduated with his undergraduate degree in psychology, he did not want to continue to grad school. 

 

His Mom said, “You have your degree and you are free of debt. Why don’t you do what you want to for a little bit.”.

 

Jamison said, “I want to build a wooden boat.” 

 

In the mid-1990s, Jamison moved to Charleston "to learn how to build wooden boats under the tutelage of local master builder Mark Bayne. Ryan, who was majoring in adventure education at Prescott College in Arizona, joined him. Together, they had a defining experience that changed their lives."

 

They worked for minimum wage and learned the craft. The two brothers who had not been close in years, found that their connection and bond grew over time while pursuing a common goal of building the boat. They worked together to build their own catamaran, and rescued it several times from hurricanes and storms. 

Once built, they began a successful charter business. 

 

They built the boat the Allura in 1999 and “later built a sailing business.” 

 

The power of mending:

This is a story that communicates how working shoulder to shoulder with someone can help them mend fences. 

 

Socratic Method and Deductive Reasoning Lessons & Negotiating

When our oldest child was in elementary school, he was bullied and bruised. 

(The elementary school teacher and principal did not care.) After there was no resolution to the bullying, my husband and I decided to purchase a home in a different city where several of my violin students happily attended the local public schools which were known for good academic programs. 

 

My husband and I found a lovely old house on the water being offered for sale by owner. We made an appointment to see the home. 

 

Even though I had built several new homes, rehabbed many old homes, and buildings, I asked for help from the best expert I knew. I called my Mom, a lawyer who specialized in real estate and family law. She asked me a series of questions which I wrote down so I could find out the information and let me arrive at the answers on my own. By doing this, it not only helped us purchase this home, but we’ve used this formula with many other transactions and have taught it to our children.

 

 

Momma’s questions:

 1)   What is the payoff for the home and how many mortgages do they have? At the time, we had to visit the courthouse to gather this information. Fortunately, this information is readily available with a few clicks of a mouse if you know where to look. 

 2)   Make another appointment to visit the house, and create a list of repairs needed. How much will it cost to have the work done by a reputable contractor bonded, licensed, and insured? 

I found out they had two loans on the house and how much they owed on the two loans. After visiting the house, a second time I wrote down the list of repairs the house would immediately need. The house needed a new roof, new electrical panel and wiring. Four columns in front of the house were rotted and held up by a prayer. The bulkhead and pier at the inlet at the river behind their house needed replacing.

 

Momma then asked: 

 

 3)   How much do they want for the house? 

 

Momma said, “Deduct from the amount the seller wants for their house, the repairs you will have to make on the house if you were to buy it. The amount you have left is what you should offer them for their house.

 

We offered that amount and the sellers countered back, asking for another $10,000. 

 

4)   Momma said, “offer them half that amount.” We offered them $5,000. They accepted our offer. We arranged for a mortgage at the bank for 15 years with a locked in fixed rate mortgage at 7 1/2 %.

 

My Mom used the Socratic Method of asking questions to help us clearly define and solve our problem. What did we learn from Mom’s questions? (Socratic Method., Deductive Reasoning.) 

 

We learned a logical progression, step by step analysis. We were guided by her questions to work out the problem logically, step by step, through her questions to seek the right information to make a good decision.

 

Asking the right questions will help you make the right decision developing a formula to tackle nearly any problem.  

 

 You can use the Socratic Method and Deductive Reasoning with your adult children the same way.

 

How to help your adult child to think and solve their own problems.

 1)   Listen carefully to what your adult child says without interrupting or judging them. It is easy to jump into “lecture mode” and tell them what they need to do…fight that urge at all costs! 

 

 2)   When they finish speaking, communicate a summary of what you think their challenges are so that you can best guide them to positive options. 

 

 3)    Ask questions, the Socratic Method or use Deductive Reasoning.

Merriam-Webster definition of the Socratic Method: “the method of inquiry and instruction employed by Socrates…consisting of a series of questioning the object of which is to elicit a clear and consistent expression of something supposed to be implicitly known by all rational beings.”

 

In plain English: ask pointed questions and ask them what they feel they should do. 

 

Socrates, the Greek philosopher, asked his students questions. “He believed that students already have deep knowledge within themselves, and that intensive questioning can reveal it. It's used to foster critical thinking by encouraging students to question their own unexamined beliefs.” 

 

4)  By empowering your adult child to find a solution and hold them accountable, they are given the gift of taking pride in what they helped to create.

 

 Helping them to think clearly to focus on solving their own problems using deductive reasoning, fostering critical thinking. The Socratic Method. 

 

5)   Respect their boundaries. If they come up with solutions that you wouldn’t have come up with, it does not mean that they are wrong…most decision making muscle is built by getting creative and learning the natural consequences of wrong decisions. 

 

 6)  Be patient and use supportive language. Encourage them to solve their own problems, offering your help when needed. Open communication is vital.

 

It is about helping your adult child navigate shark infested waters using the Socratic Method, deductive reasoning to foster critical thinking.

 

 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an  amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, John Maxwell Team Member, concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Business". Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available everywhere books are sold. 

 

 

“BUDGETING YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS” BY MADELINE FRANK, PH.D

Forbes magazine said, “78% of workers live paycheck to paycheck”.

Several of my university students have told me “their finances are a mess and their mortgage loans on their cars and houses are too high. They felt overwhelmed by their finances.”   I shared with them my Momma’s wisdom of budgeting and banking for their success.

You have overdrawn your bank account for the third time. Your rent check has bounced, your power bill check has bounced, your monthly insurance payment has bounced and your car has just broken down. Your bank has charged a transaction fee of $35 per bounced check. This is the fastest way to double what you actually owe by adding all of these extra charges. 

My Momma, Romayne Leader Frank, a lawyer and counselor, taught her clients and me how to budget our money. During my high school years Momma taught me to make a budget of my expenses, to keep a ledger of the money going into the bank and the money to be paid out for expenses. She also taught me to put my entire paycheck, after taxes were deducted from the pay check, in the bank. Then I would pay all my bills and take out only the necessary amount for food and necessities. The remaining money went into my savings account. As a college student in New York City, I always had a job to help me pay for tuition, apartment rent, utilities, and food. 

So, let’s get started and think this out together. You want everything in your budget. Whether it’s your personal or business finances, you have to have a plan in place for your success and you need to learn to budget your money.

What are the eight questions you need to answer to build your budget?

1.  Are you withholding enough money from your wages to pay for taxes?  

2.   How much money do you earn each month after taxes?   

3.   How much is your rent or mortgage payment each month?   

4.  How much is your power bill, gas bill, water bill, sewer bill, telephone, cell phone and  insurance for your apt/house, self and for the car each month? 

5.  How much does it cost to put gas in the car each week to go from home to work and then return home? Multiply the total amount by 4. 

6.  How much does it cost in groceries each week? Multiply the total amount by 4.   

7. How much will it cost for entertainment and new clothes per week? Multiply the total amount by 4.                                                                        

8.  Are you budgeting for unforeseen consequences such as family emergencies, loses not covered by insurance, emergency travel and other events? Include an amount per week and multiply by 4.

All your expenses need to be included in your budget. Once you have written down your total amounts for your bills/expenses per month you subtract them from your monthly pay check that you will be receiving after taxes. The amount that is left is the beginning of your rainy-day fund to invest for your future to eventually buy a car or a house.

The concept is to spend only what you have and to stay on budget. You cannot buy frivolous things that you do not need and cannot afford. You have to stay within your budget.

By having your budget in place, you will know exactly how much money you have left over every month to begin saving for your future.

Remember you cannot spend what you do not have.

By following these steps and learning how to budget your money, you will be budgeting your way to success. (C) 2024, 2019 Madeline Frank

This is the fourth article of my series on teaching you, to take hold of your finances. 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an  amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, John Maxwell Team Member, concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Business". Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available everywhere books are sold. 

PENNIES TODAY EQUALS PROSPERITY TOMORROW by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

Developing the discipline of saving and investing is paying yourself first.

 

My friend Stewart taught his teenage daughter to save 40 cents out of each $1 she earned, beginning with her first job. She continued to do this through high school, college, and with her jobs as an adult. She now is the proud owner of two condos. Learn to save your money for your future car, house, condo, or other necessity and teach your family and friends to do this too.

 

My Momma, Romayne Leader Frank, taught me in high school to make a budget of my expenses, to keep a ledger of the money going into the bank and the money to be paid out for expenses. She also taught me to put my entire pay check in the bank, to pay all my bills, and to take out only the necessary amount for food and spending money. The remaining money went into my savings account. As a college student, I always had a job to help me pay my tuition, my apartment rent, utilities, and food.

 

 So, start today to save your pennies and begin your prosperity for tomorrow. (C)2024, 2019 Madeline Frank

 

This article is the third of four articles on teaching you, to take hold of your finances.

 

 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, John Maxwell Team Member, conductor, and concert artist. She helps businesses and organizations “Tune Up their Business”. Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book “Leadership On A Shoestring Budget” is available everywhere books are sold. If you need a speaker or video speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com

Curb Your Spending Habits & Save for Your Emergencies by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

Your car just broke down and you don’t have the money to repair it! Don’t you wish you had an emergency fund to pay for it?

 

What's your first step?

 

Gabby and Jay are going to tell us how they did it! 

For one-week Gabby and Jay tracked every receipt and purchase they made including the ones for their computers. They kept all their receipts and expenses and wrote them down in a note book. They included every purchase they made even small purchases for sodas, snacks, lunches, dinners, breakfasts, groceries, going to the movies, purchasing snacks, gas for their cars, cigarettes, and any other items they purchased that week. Jay and Gabby also wrote down their weekly spending for pay pal accounts, group on offers, credit cards, game accounts and iTunes accounts on their computers.

 

Gabby saved all her receipts for one week and totaled all her receipts. She looked at her first couple of receipts and realized she had gone to Starbucks with her friends 5 times that week spending $4 a day for Coffee, a total of $20 for the week. She decided to go to Starbucks with her friends three times the next week, and invites her friends to share coffee at her house two days a week, and puts the $8 she saved into her Piggy Bank to start her $1000 Emergency Fund. In a months' time Gabby realizes she will save $32 and in 6 months she will save $192 towards her $1000 Emergency Nest Egg Fund.

 

Gabby continues looking at her receipts and realizes she bought 3 packs of cigarettes a week at $5.50 a package, $16.50 a week. Gabby says, "I spent $66 a month on cigarettes. If I cut down my smoking to a pack a week I can put $11 into my "Piggy Bank" for my Emergency Fund each week and in a month's time I will have saved a total of $44 in my "Piggy Bank" toward my $1000 Emergency Nest Egg Fund. In 6 months I will have saved $264 toward my $1000 Emergency Nest Egg Fund."

 

Gabby says, "If I continue to go through my receipts and eliminate the items I don't need or cut down other expenses I will have my Emergency Fund in place in less than 6 months. By cutting back on Cigarettes and coffee I've already saved $76 this month. I will go through my receipts and look at what else I can eliminate or cut down on. My goal is to have my Emergency Fund in place in 6 months. I am determined to do it!"

 

Jay has saved all his receipts for one week and totaled all his receipts. He looks at his first set of receipts and realizes he has 5 days of lunches at $8 a lunch for five days and he's spent $40 on lunches this week. He says, "If I bring a bag lunch to work three days a week, I can save $24 to put in my "Tin Can" to start my $1000 Emergency Nest Egg Fund. In a month's time I will have saved $96." Jay then goes to his computer receipts and realizes he's spend $45 a week on his computer for his PayPal accounts, Groupon offers, credit cards, game accounts and his iTunes account. He says, "Do I really need these accounts, are they going to help me get my Emergency Fund up and running? These purchases are bleeding away my hard earned money. I'm going to close these accounts. That way I can put $180 a month into my "Tin Can" to save for my $1000 Emergency Fund. I will go through my receipts and look at what else I can eliminate or cut down on. My goal is to have my Emergency Fund in place in 6 months. I know I can do it!"

 

So, what are the three steps for you to save for your $1000 Emergency just like Jay and Gabby?

Track your spending for one week. Keep all your receipts and expenses for the week, writing them down in a note book, and at the end of the week add them together to get your total expenses for the week. Include every purchase you make even small purchases for sodas, snacks, lunches, dinners, breakfasts, groceries, going to the movies, purchasing snacks, gas for your car, cigarettes, and any other items you purchased that week. Also list your weekly spending for pay pal accounts, group on offers, credit cards, game accounts and iTunes accounts on your computer.

2. Evaluate each of your receipts, just like Gabby and Jay did, and decide if it is a needed expense or not and start putting your saved money into your Emergency Fund "Piggy Bank or Tin Bank".

3) Look at your computer receipts like Jay did and decide if your weekly pay pal accounts, group on offers, credit cards, game accounts, and iTunes accounts on your computer can be eliminated or cut back. 

Jay turned off his pay pal account, his Groupon offers, his game accounts, his iTunes account and stopped spending his credit card money on things he didn't need. 

Jay said, "These purchases are bleeding away my hard-earned money."

 

By following these three steps and being determined and disciplined to do it, you will be like Gabby and Jay, able to set up your $1000 Emergency Fund.

You can also save on gas for your car each week by being aware of which gas station has a special day for saving 5 cents for each gallon you purchase. In our City it's every Thursday. What day is it in your City or town? Every penny you save can go into your $1000 Emergency Nest Egg Fund. The sooner you start the sooner you will have your $1000 Emergency Fund in place. 

This article is the second of four articles on teaching you, to take hold of your finances. ©2024, 2019 Madeline Frank

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, John Maxwell Team Member, conductor, and concert artist. She helps businesses and organizations “Tune Up their Business”. Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book “Leadership On A Shoestring Budget” is available everywhere books are sold. If you need a speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com