How to Give Positive Feedback by Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM

 Many years ago, author, Ted Engstrom wrote about the University of Wisconsin's "group of brilliant young men who had amazing creative literary talent.”  These students were essayists, novelists, and poets. “They were extraordinary in their ability to put the English language to its best use" and met often to evaluate "each other’s work.”

Engstrom said, they “were merciless with one another dissecting the most minute literary expression into a hundred pieces. They were heartless, tough, even mean in their criticism.” They named their group "the Stranglers.” They strangled all the hopes and dreams they each had to be writers.

At the university the young women who had literary talent began their own  group calling it the "Wranglers". "They read their works to one another. But there was one great difference. The criticism was much softer, more positive, more encouraging. Sometimes, there was almost no criticism at all. Every effort was encouraged.”

Study Done 20 Years Later:

A study was done twenty years later by an alumnus who wanted to do a “study of his classmates’ careers” . He discovered none of the Stranglers   made any “literary accomplishment”. They had all given up on writing!

"From the Wranglers had come six or more successful writers, some of national renown such as Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings, who wrote The Yearling.”

In looking at the education of both groups, he found them to be equal. Ted Engstrom  “concluded, the Stranglers strangled, while the Wranglers highlighted the best, not the worst.”

Words are powerful, choose the wrong ones, and they can hurt and destroy. That's what the Stranglers did! They acted like a bunch of bullies demoralizing each others work until all the members gave up on their writing!

Choosing positive words motivates others:

The Wranglers chose words that inspired, encouraged, and motivated their members to continue writing and being creative.

 Toastmasters clubs give positive evaluations :

At Toastmasters clubs, we learn to help our members improve their communication, public speaking and leadership skills. Constructive feedback is given in a positive friendly atmosphere on prepared speeches. Evaluators listen carefully to the speaker they are evaluating and tell them what they have done well to build the speakers confidence, and then make one suggestion that they can improve. Every person needs positive encouragement to motivate and inspire them to the next level of their journey.

What 5 ways can you encourage and empower others to be good wranglers/ good finders to family, friends, and your fellow employees?

  1)  Ask them about their families, their hopes, challenges, and dreams. Show interest in them and want to know all about them.

  2)  Matt McWilliams, online marketing expert, says “Use the four magic words: I believe in you. Take the time to tell your team, your friends, your family, and your followers that you believe in your abilities and that you are confident that they will succeed.”

   3)  Written words of praise last a lifetime!

When did you last thank someone who helped you in some way? (Your mentor, parent, grandparent, coach, teacher, boss.) Did you write them a note of thanks, or send them a text to tell them thank them? If they are no longer with you on earth, write a blog on the net memorializing their work with you.

President Abraham Lincoln when he died had 8 newspaper clippings in his pocket on the positive things written about him during his re-election campaign. He had read and re-read these   newspaper clippings many times, to remind him of the nice things they had written about him.  During his presidency he was maligned many times by the newspapers.

When Mark Eklund, a young soldier, died in Vietnam, he had two well-worn sheets of paper in his pocket that he had read and re-read many times. On the two sheets were “all the good things" his classmates had written about him when he was in the eighth grade. ("All the Good Things" by Sister Helen P. Mrosla.) Written words of praise last a lifetime!

   4)   When you speak about your employees, your children, your spouse or sibling in public, praise them to others. When you are speaking to a team member at work and are talking about another team member say something positive about them. Build others up by building on their strengths.

  5) Chris Martin,Author Development Specialist at LifeWay Christian Resources, say, “Listen to others’ concerns and ask how you can help. One of the best ways to earn the ears of others is by learning to use your own. When you use your ears and listen to the concerns of others, you tell them that what preoccupies them matters to you, and even if you can’t do anything about it you care.” Stop talking and listen to others.

Every person needs positive encouragement to motivate, encourage, and inspire them to the next level of their journey through life. The Wranglers  encouraged and motivated their members by giving them positive feedback. Just like Toastmasters, - leaders who are wranglers/ good finders begin with, what their team members/employees did well, and demonstrate how to correct what needs improvement. 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an award winning teacher, Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, and concert artist. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Business". Her innovative observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. She writes a monthly newsletter "Madeline's Monthly article & Musical Tips Blog" and a monthly radio show "Madeline's One Minute Musical Radio Show". Her book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available anywhere books are sold. Contact Madeline Frank for your next speaking engagement at mfrankviola@gmail.com