Have you ever spoken to someone without thinking?
Did you wish you could take the words back? That's why you need to think carefully before you open your mouth!
Under cover of darkness, 10-year-old Louis and his
family climbed aboard a ship in the Baltic Sea, heading to America.
They were fleeing pogroms, rape, looting, and murder,
instituted under the regime of Russian Czar Nicholas the II in the early 20th
century.
Louis and his family fled with just the clothes
on their backs. They came to America, the land of opportunity where you have the right to religious freedom to worship
as you choose.
Louis
did not finish elementary school in America. He immediately had to go to work
to help support
his
family.
He
worked hard, learned to speak perfect English, became well read, and wrote to
relatives all over the world to see how they were doing every month.
I
know so much about this young man, Louis Charles Frank, because he was my
Grandfather. He used to say to his grandchildren in his deep voice; “I came
from Russia in a covered wagon.” Of course Grandfather was teasing us as he
came to America by ship. Grandfather enjoyed taking us to the park to feed the
ducks and geese and always
had
a ready supply of bread.
One
day I was visiting my Grandfather at his real-estate office when an associate
came in and said something negative about someone else in Grandfather’s
presence.
My
Grandfather replied, “He speaks well of you!”
The
man paused and said, "You are right, Louis. I need to think about what I'm
going to say before I open my mouth."
My
grandfather built a solid and successful business upon the belief that if you
spoke well of others, they would speak well of you.
I
always enjoyed visiting with my Grandfather; he always saw the good in others.
He did not engage in gossip, and did not tolerate it! He believed
in making it easier for people to see the positive and good in others.
“As a child I listened to Grandfather and did not engage
in gossip and did not tolerate it either.”
Grandfather lived by 3 rules:
1)
Be judicious about what you say. Use good judgment when you talk to
others.
2)
Say something nice.
3)
Give everyone a sincere compliment every day.
Grandfather taught me to “Think carefully before I opened my mouth.”
Fred said, “Years ago I was asked to be interim music director
for a small church in suburban Nashville.” After agreeing “the pastor
asked me to sign a covenant stating I would not criticize anyone while I was
there. I agreed to do it almost as an experiment, for it was so contrary to my
general disposition. After a few months I realized I never felt more
community than I did there. As
I look back, I realize it was the fact of refusing to say anything negative
about anyone that made the difference. I could face any person there with
complete freedom because I had never said a hurtful word about anyone.”
Fred Smith, Sr. learned to “Think carefully before he
opened his mouth.”
Mark Twain said, “I can live for two
months on a good compliment.”
At 16, I played in my first master class on the
violin. A master class is when a musical artist, an expert, comes in and
listens to exceptional students play and makes suggestions to improve the
musician’s performance. The master class was for two hours.
I was scared out of my wits. Mr. G, the expert who gave
the class, demoralized ever person that played for him, by saying nasty things to each performer taking away
their dreams and hopes for the future. It took me many months to
get over Mr. G.
Many years latter I was asked
to give master classes in China, Australia, New
Zealand and throughout the U.S. I first have the talented students play the
piece through , lead the audience in applause, then give the student playing an
honest sincere compliment, and then focus on one thing that they can
immediately do to make the piece better!
Students improved on the spot! After each
master class, while I was cleaning and putting away my instrument, a line
formed of students who had not performed in the master class wanting
help with their piece. I spent a few minutes with each student giving
suggestions.
Remember Mary Poppins “A spoon fool of sugar makes the
medicine go down.” It really does! Mary Poppins understood about “thinking carefully before she opened her mouth .”
Dr. Maxwell Maltz“, plastic
surgeon, said, “it requires a minimum
of about 21 days for an old mental image to dissolve and a new one to jell.”
He wrote in 1960 “Psycho Cybernetics” on behavioral change and sold over
30 million books and audio books.
So how can you learn to “think carefully before you open your mouth”?
Take your seven Day Challenge”!
1) “Every day pay an honest compliment to each of
three different persons. Keep a record of those to whom you pay your three
complements. And observe what they say in response to your compliment.” Dr.
George W. Crane
2) “Within the first 30 seconds of a conversation, say something encouraging
to the other person.” Dr. John C. Maxwell
3) Every evening think up 3 “honest compliments”.
By following these three rules the world around you
will change for the better in 7 Days! And you will learn to "think carefully before
you open your mouth"!
Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author,
John Maxwell Team Member, Certified World Class Speaking Coach, sought after
speaker, business owner, teacher, researcher, and concert artist. She helps
businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Businesses". Her
innovative observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep
your business successful. She writes a monthly newsletter "Madeline's
Monthly article & Musical Tips Blog" and a monthly radio show "Madeline's
One Minute Musical Radio Show". Her book "Leadership On A Shoestring
Budget" is available on Amazon or Kindle. Contact Madeline Frank for your
next speaking engagement at mfrankviola@gmail.com
