3 Ways To Communicate You Are Listening! by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

Must be personable, empathetic. Understand that your connection is with a human. 

 

What is everyone asking about you?

 

1) “Do you care about me?”

2) “Can you help me?”

3) “Can I trust you?”

 (John Maxwell’s 3 questions to connect with others.)

 

1)    “Do you care about me?”

 

We have all experienced people who have rolled their eyes at a simple request, making us feel unimportant. On the flip side; Bob Burg shares a story of how a little bit of empathy can go a long way. 

 

“It was several years ago while I was in the fantastic city of St. Louis, Missouri. After being seated for lunch, the waiter made his initial approach to our table with a bit of an…attitude. He was coldly polite and acted as if he’d rather not be there at all. One could say he literally looked “pained” to even be there.”

 

“And, indeed, he literally was, as indicated by his pronounced limp as he walked away. So, when he came back, my friend and colleague Dixie Gillaspie — kind and thoughtful as she always is — acknowledged his obvious discomfort and asked what happened.”

“He explained that he’d been hit by a car and was in fact in extremely significant pain. We didn’t ask him why he was there at work or in any other way pry; we just let him know how badly we felt for him and that we’d try not to bother him too much with needless trips back and forth.”

 

“You wouldn’t believe (or, maybe you would) how polite, solicitous, and friendly he then became. In fact, he made so many trips over to check up on us that we had to try and keep from getting his attention.”    

                 

“Dixie simply verbalized her concern and showed him she cared. Not only was she not offended by his attitude, but instead valued him enough as a human being to focus on *his* situation. Consequently, he went above and beyond in trying to please us.”

 

Burg’s “Key Point: As human beings, we have a need to know that people care about us. And, when people show us they do, even — perhaps especially — with no obligatory reason to, we will go out of our way to make them happy.”

 

“It’s just another of those “Laws of Life.”

 

“Think back to when someone has done that for you. Did you feel yourself change in your thoughts and feelings toward them? When you’ve done that for others, what were the results you noticed? I’m guessing it changed them, and that you felt pretty darned good yourself.”

 

The world does not revolve around you. Challenge yourself to be more empathetic when encountering someone and see what happens. 

 

2) “Can you help me?”

 

Everyone desires to have an experience they can rave about. 

Since the dawn of time, people have been writing about solving problems rather than listing the features of their products or services. 

 

 

Who would you rather do business with?

 

·       The broker who tells you about how long his company has been in business, or the broker who assures you that he will help guide you through life to create a comfortable retirement.

·       The dentist who tries to upsell you on every additional service they offer at every visit, or the dentist whose office calls you the evening after a procedure to check in and see how you are doing. 

·       The carpet salesman who just sells you the flooring and installation, or the salesman who stops by on his way home from work to drop off some spot cleaner because he recognized you had a pet and wanted to make sure you were prepared “just in case”.

No one cares what you do. They only care about how you can help them.

 

3)“Can I trust you?” 

 

It is no secret that car salesmen do not have a great public perception for trustworthiness. When you get to experience someone, who is an amazing trustworthy salesman, they are legendary. 

 

My husband and I had the privilege of doing business with the greatest salesman I have ever met. His name was William “Bill” Carwile. Bill possessed a burning passion for helping his customers find the right vehicle for them. He studied cars inside and out, so he could guide you to the right car to fulfill your needs. 

 

Bill also had great relationships with the service department at his dealership, often buying them lunch and recognizing them for a job well done frequently. Having built that relationship with the service team…if one of his customers had a car break down in the evening or on a Sunday, one of Bill’s trusted technicians would likely be right over to help. 

How did I meet Bill? For the third time in two weeks my 17-year-old Mitsubishi decided to die. I had replaced the battery, the alternator, the regulator and a few more parts and I had had enough. Tidewater AAA Service had told me this was my last time to be towed and they would no longer help me. Three strikes and you are out! 

 

My dad and several friends had raved about this guy named Bill at the Chrysler/Plymouth dealer. They were all happy with their purchases and considered Bill Carwile their friend and trusted adviser. My husband and I made an appointment with him for the next day.

Bill asked me what I was looking for in a new car.  I wanted something that got good mileage, was comfortable, and was reliable and safe. He showed us 2 or 3 vans, and instead of pressuring us into buying on the spot, he invited us to take the van for the weekend and to let him know what we thought on Monday. 

 

Over the years we bought many cars and vans from Bill and we also recommended him to all our friends and family members who bought cars from him. Bill has become a close friend over the years and we respected and trusted him as a trusted adviser for all our car needs. He always had a passion for cars and other vehicles and studied them.

 

As customers and friends, we enjoyed buying our vehicles from Bill Carwile for four reasons. 

 

1) We immediately liked him and trusted him and he always had a positive attitude.

2) Bill listened to what we wanted and needed in a car, truck , or van and then told us the benefits of each vehicle he thought we would like in our price range. He had the solution to our problem.

3) Bill had such a passion and knowledge of cars, trucks, and vans that he shared with his customers and friends. He knew everything about these vehicles and when he made a promise he would keep it!

 

William “Bill” Carwile passed away on September 8, 2011. His family, his friends, and his customers were blessed to have known such a wonderful caring person who shared his passion for automobiles with them all these years. 

 

(I wrote about Bill in a previous article “A Salesman’s Dream”

 

“In a letter to John Maxwell, Emran Bhojawala introduced him to Lloyd, a car salesman in the Washington, D.C. area, who went above and beyond for Emran. Lloyd proved himself so trustworthy that Emran even purchased a car from Lloyd in D.C., sight unseen, after Emran moved to Minnesota.”

 

Imran said, “When I wanted to buy a car I didn’t have to worry about anything. I told him my budget and flew to Virginia to pick up a car I had never seen.” 

He “then drove twenty-three hours to get home.”

 

Imran continues, “Lloyd is THE legend when it comes to selling cars in the area near my school. He does not advertise, and all his business comes from previous customers and references. I think that’s a perfect example of success in connecting with people.”

 

“Trust is the foundation that makes rapport, communication, and connection possible – it may not be easily built up, but it pays exponential dividends in relational value.” ( John Maxwell Leadership)

 

Not everything is about the latest tech, latest selling trend or anything else. It is the foundation that everyone sells themselves. 

 

 

 

 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations “Tune Up their Business”. Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book “Leadership On A Shoestring Budget” is available everywhere books are sold. If you need a virtual speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Inspiration From a Cage to the Queen of England by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

How could the legacy of a young girl, who was locked in a cage, eventually create a legacy that reached the Queen of England? You have undoubtedly heard of Helen Keller, but the woman who helped pave the way for Helen to leave her legacy remains largely unknown…until now. 

 

“Little Annie” Sullivan’s was the oldest of 5 children from a poor Irish family. Her father was unskilled, illiterate and an alcoholic. Two of her siblings died in infancy. Her Mom had Tuberculosis and after a fall walked with crutches. When Annie was 5 years old, she contracted a bacterial eye infection, which left her half blind. Her Mother died when she was 8, and two of her younger siblings were sent to live with relatives. 

 

Little Annie was left to take care of her father. Two years later her younger brother Jimmie, who had a Tubercular hip, was sent back from the relatives he was staying with. He and Little Annie were sent to the Tewksbury Almshouse in Massachusetts. This mental institution known as a dirty, overcrowded place, filled with those who society would rather lock away instead of helping them to heal!

 

Annie and Jimmie shared a tiny space in the Almshouse, and Jimmie died three months later. She was “heartbroken, frightened, and alone. She became incorrigible, no one could do anything with her. The medical personnel could not examine her, as she would spit and scratch them.” 

 

She was placed her in a cage “in the dungeon for the hopelessly insane. When people came to Little Annie’s cage she would sometimes attack the person or ignore them.” (Zig Ziglar, motivational expert and author’s part of Annie's story begins.)

 

One evening, “an elderly nurse, who believed there was hope for all of God’s creatures, and she would frequently eat her lunch at the foot of Annie’s cage. The elderly nurse spoke to her encouraging motivational words showing she cared about Little Annie. One day the elderly nurse brought brownies to the dungeon and left them outside the little girl’s cage. The next day when the old nurse returned, the brownies were gone.”

 

“The nurse believed that everyone needed to feel hope and love, and had a desire to communicate that to Little Annie. Over time the doctors saw positive changes in Little Annie and she was moved upstairs.” (Zig Ziglar)

 

The nurse may have been the first adult to show the orphan a glimmer of hope and optimism.  Little Annie had impaired eyesight and at “14 years of age could not read or write.” When the inspectors came to inspect the Tewksbury Almshouse Mental Institution, Little Annie mustered all the courage she possessed, and declared to one of the inspectors “I want to go to school.” 

 

She was sent to Perkins Institute for the Blind on Oct. 7, 1880 where she was taught to read and write the manual alphabet.

 

Little Annie had never owned a toothbrush, hairbrush, nightgown, or anything else. Most of the other girls at Perkins were the sheltered daughters of wealthy merchants or farmers. Many of the children made fun of “Little Annie’s rough manners and ignorance and some of her teachers were impatient and unsympathetic to her.” Perkins.org

 

Annie Sullivan remembered her early years at Perkins feeling humiliated about her shortcomings and feeling ashamed and angry. She was determined to excel at her studies.

 

Annie’s life at Perkins became easier after the first two years. (Think about the dedication Annie possessed…two years of enduring something unpleasant so she could pursue her goal). 

 

Connecting with teachers and her house mother, Mrs. Sophia Hopkins:

She “connected with several of the teachers who encouraged and challenged her.  Mrs. Sophia Hopkins, Annie’s housemother, took Annie under her wing and treated her like a daughter. During school vacations, Annie spent time with Mrs. Hopkins at her Cape Cod home. Annie had another surgery on her eyes and it improved her vision dramatically so she could see well enough to read print.”

 

Annie befriending Laura Bridgman:

Annie “befriended Laura Bridgman, who had been the first deaf and blind person to learn a language. Annie learned the manual alphabet from her, and frequently chatted and read the newspaper to the much older woman. Bridgman could be very demanding, but Sullivan seemed to have more patience with her than many of the other students.”

 

Excelling academically at Perkins:

Anne “learned to excel academically at Perkins but she did not conform. She frequently broke rules; her quick temper and sharp tongue brought her close to expulsion on more than one occasion. She might not have made it to graduation without the intercessions of those few teachers and staff who were close to her” and knew her true potential.

 

Annie Sullivan graduated June 1886 as Valedictorian. She charged her classmates and herself with these words: "Fellow-graduates: duty bids us go forth into active life. Let us go cheerfully, hopefully and earnestly, and set ourselves to find our special part. When we have found it, willingly and faithfully perform it…."

 

Annie after graduation was fearful and uncertain of her future. She had no family to go back to, did not want “to return to Tewksbury and had no qualifications for employment. Fate intervened.”  

 

 

Annie’s Opportunity:

 

Captain Keller of Alabama “wrote to Perkins Director Michael Anagnos, asking him to recommend a teacher for his young daughter Helen, who had been deaf and blind since the age of 19 months. ( scarlet fever or meningitis) Helen's mother had read about Laura Bridgman's education at Perkins in Charles Dickens' American Notes and began to hope that her own daughter could be reached.”

 

Perkins Director Michael Anagnos “admired Sullivan's intelligence and indomitable determination. He immediately thought of her as the best candidate to teach the seven-year-old girl.”

 

Ms. Sullivan, although “intimidated by the challenge, she knew this was just the opportunity she needed. She spent the next few months studying the reports of Laura Bridgman's education by Howe and her other teachers. In March of 1887 she left for Tuscumbia, Alabama, to begin a new chapter in her life.”

 

Teaching Methods:

 

“The methods Sullivan used when she began teaching Helen were very much like those Dr. Howe employed with Laura Bridgman. They followed a strict schedule and new vocabulary words were introduced in a formal lesson. It was not long before Sullivan realized that the rigid routine did not suit her exuberant and spontaneous young pupil. Never one to be limited by rules, Sullivan abandoned the prescribed schedule and shifted the focus of her teaching.”

 

Sullivan enters Helen’s World: “Child Centered Method”

 

“Sullivan decided to enter Helen's world, follow her interests and add language and vocabulary to those activities. She observed that Helen's infant cousin learned language by being spoken to, and talked to the girl constantly by fingerspelling into her hand." 

 

In Annie Sullivan’s letters to Mrs. Hopkins, she discussed the reasons for her change in approach:

 

“I am convinced that the time spent by the teacher in digging out of the child what she has put into him, for the sake of satisfying herself that it has taken root, is so much time thrown away. It's much better, I think, to assume the child is doing his part, and that the seed you have sown will bear fruit in due time. It's only fair to the child, anyhow, and it saves you unnecessary trouble.”

 

“Helen flourished under Sullivan's creative approach to teaching, and her thirst for information seemed unquenchable. Remarkably, within six months she learned 575 words, multiplication tables as high as five and the Braille system. Although Sullivan was a brilliant and intuitive teacher who had moved well beyond earlier rigid prescriptive teaching methods, she continued to seek and receive support and advice from Anagnos and others at Perkins.” 

 

When the Queen of England, many years later, honored Helen Keller with England’s highest honor, the Queen asked her, “How do you account for your remarkable accomplishments in life? How do you explain that even though you were both deaf and blind, you were able to accomplish so much?”

 

Helen Keller said, “had it not been for Anne Sullivan, Little Annie, the name Helen Keller would have remained unknown.”

 

Zig Ziglar says “Anne Sullivan saw Helen Keller as one of “God’s very special people.” She treated her as she saw her, loved her, disciplined her, played, prayed, pushed and worked with her until the flickering candle that was her life became a beacon “lighting the burdens of others.”

“Helen Keller influenced millions of people after her own life was touched by Little Annie.” 

 

Mark Twain was the first person to call Sullivan a 'miracle-worker'. "The famous author was annoyed that people wanted to meet Keller but ignored her extraordinary teacher."

 

Side Note:

Helen Keller said, “The most important day I remember in all my life is the one on which my teacher, Anne Mansfield Sullivan, came to me. I am filled with wonder when I consider the immeasurable contrasts between the two lives which it connects. It was the third of March, 1887, three months before I was seven years old.”

 

Just like Annie Sullivan and Helen Keller, every person needs love and hope communicated to them. Connecting with a knowledgeable person can ignite and empower you to the next level.

 

 Madeline Frank, Ph.D., is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Business". Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available everywhere books are sold. If you need a virtual speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com

 

  

Profound Wisdom from a Toothless 10-year-old by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

It was a sunny, bright and beautiful Tuesday morning, June 27, 2023. Seven days after the longest day of the year June 20^th. It was 7:00 am in the morning and my husband and I had just had breakfast and were waiting for the elevator at the Hampton, Virginia hotel we were staying at. In the lobby were around 20 young women with their mothers, in their swimming suits. The children were under 10 through ages 14. The parents and children were all smiling filled with excitement! It was contagious! Several of the young women proudly wore the Junior Olympic T Shirts and the mothers were saying positive motivating words to them.

 

"I spoke to one mother who proudly confirmed the Jr Olympic status of her children.”  For the entire 4 days we continued to smile! The children were competing for individual events and relays. They also competed for team awards. 

 

Excitement is contagious! We feed off the emotions of others.

 

What would happen if at 7am in the morning you had this enthusiasm and energy?

 

I want you to go back in time to when you were 10 years old and you believed you could do anything! This is before you had all your teeth!

 

A parent’s job is to encourage, and listen!

 

Children are a little version of us. Somewhere as adults we have forgotten to dream and be optimistic.

 

The Jr Olympics teaches you how to win and how to lose and how to move on. Success is accomplished through hardship.

 

How should you begin your day? 

 

You should start your day with the excitement of a 10 year old! 

 

Start your day right by smiling and saying positive motivating words to yourself and others!

 

Listen and ask questions.

 

Emotional intelligence is calmly and quietly listening to what the other person says, then asking questions to clarify what they are saying.

 

This is a lesson about the importance of encouragement! 

 

You have to have good people around you. You have to do the work, the boring stuff.

 

All of us have inside of us that youthful exuberance. It is contagious!

 

All we are is the adult version of children, who want and need to be recognized that they have done a good job and know that someone is watching over them and appreciates them.

 

Parents and guardians choose the words they live by.

 

Emotional intelligence. As parents we watch our kids bomb. And we listen and ask them questions. Sometimes we get sidelined-outside. By ask questions we have another perspective and clarify the situation.

 

 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations “Tune Up their Business”. Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book “Leadership On A Shoestring Budget” is available everywhere books are sold. If you need a virtual speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com

 

 

 

Heart of a Singer and Baseball Player by Madeline Frank. Ph.D.

Marsha Rice was a wonderful, warm, kind, caring, and funny person. Her favorite sports team was the Dodgers. She enjoyed watching the live games on TV and she knew the stats of each player. Her other passion was singing. One of her favorite singers was Engelbart Humperdinck. She and our good friend Evelyn Richman visited Las Vegas to see his live concert. Both of them raved about the concert and visiting the sights of Las Vegas. Marsha had gone to many of his live concerts in the past and was a big fan. 

 

Every year we would celebrate our November birthdays together at a restaurant. Marsha’s birthday was November 17, 1944. We would bring birthday cakes to share, blow out the candles and make wishes! We enjoyed eating lunch together, sharing stories, and just being together.

When Evelyn moved to a retirement home is her 90’s, Marsha and I would go and visit her, bring lunch, birthday cakes, my violin, and Marsha would bring her dog Chloi. We always had a good time-sharing stories, eating together, and would finish by playing musical favorites to sing. 

 

Marsha and I would share jokes and stories regularly over the phone and text just to catch up. Like Evelyn, Marsha was a wonderful listener and when you had a problem she would ask questions to help you figure out the solution. After a long illness Marsha Rice, our warm, wonderful, caring, and funny friend passed away on June 25, 2023. She was 79 years old.

 

Marsh Rice’s legacy of kindness to others will live on.

 

 

 

 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Business". Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available everywhere books are sold. If you need a virtual speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com

I'm A Seller, Not A Buyer by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

If your child was born with a health or physical impairment wouldn’t you do everything in your power to make your child whole again?

Zig Ziglar, motivational expert and author shares the following story: “I was speaking in Kansas City and there I met Bernie Lofchick. Bernie Lofchick told me this story.”

He said, “Zig, when our son was born our joy knew no bounds because we already had our two daughters. Now we had our son. The family was complete but he said it wasn’t long before we knew something was wrong because his head hung too limply on the right side of his body but the family doctor said he would outgrow it. We knew better so we took him to a specialist. We took him to one of Canada’s top specialists and after an exhaustive examination the specialist said this little boy is a spastic. He has cerebral palsy. He’s never going to be able to walk or talk or count to ten. I’m going to suggest that you put him in an institution for his own good and for the good of the quote “normal members of the family”.

“I’m not a buyer. I’m a seller.”

“Brother Bern looked at me and said you know Zig, I’m not a buyer. I’m a seller. I could not buy the idea that my son was going to grow up being a vegetable, so we took him to another doctor who told us the same thing. And then another and another and yet another and another until 30 doctors said there is no hope. Then I heard of a doctor Pearlstein down in Chicago. They got an alternate appointment so that when someone else cancelled they could have that appointment because Dr. Pearlstein was booked two years in advance and 11 days later a little boy from Australia canceled and they went to Chicago.”

Dr. Pearlstein is Solution Conscious:

“Dr. Pearlstein examined David, and when he finished he said this little boy is a spastic. He has cerebral palsy. He’s never going to be able to walk or talk or count to ten, if you listen to the prophets of doom. I want you to know that I am NOT problem conscious. I am solution conscious. And yes, I believe there is something that can be done for this boy if you are willing to do your part.”

“Bern and Elaine Lofchick said, Doctor, tell us what to do. We will do anything.”

Plan of Action: “The doctor and the therapist and the nurses spelled it out in minute detail. They said you’re going to have to push this little boy beyond all human endurance. Then you’re going to have to push him some more. You’re going to have to work him until he falls. Then you’re going to have to pick him up and work him some more. You got to understand that there is no stopping point, that if you ever stop he goes back. You got to understand that there might be months and even years when you will be unable to detect any change but you got to stay with it. And one last thing don’t ever give him therapy in the presence of another victim of cerebral palsy, because if he sees them taking therapy he will inadvertently pick up those awkward movements. You see, we become part of what we are around, whether it’s moral or immoral, whether it’s good or bad. Stay with it long enough and it’s going to rub off on you.”

“The Lofchicks went home, and built a little gymnasium in the basement of their home. They hired a physical therapist and a bodybuilder. It took him a lot of months but one day David Lofchick could move the length of his own body. It took him several years but one day the therapist called Bernie home and said I believe David is ready and Bernie rushed home.”

“David Lofchick was down in the basement and on a little mat getting ready to do a push-up. As that little body started to rise into the air the emotional and physical exertion was so great there was that a dry inch of skin on that little body. When he finished that one pushup, mother and dad, little David, and the sisters and the therapist and everybody broke down and shed those tears which so eloquently say that happiness is not pleasure; happiness is victory.”

“The story, ladies and gentlemen, is even more remarkable, when they know that one of America’s leading universities had examined this little boy and said there’s no motor connection to the right side of his body, he has no sense of balance, he will have extreme difficulty even being able to walk and stand straight, he’ll never be able to swim or skate or ride a bicycle.”

Zig Ziglar, “On October 23, 1971, my wife and I had the privilege of flying to Winnipeg, Canada to attend the bar mitzvah of little David Lofchick.(13 years old) Oh, how I wish you could have been there. How I wish the television cameras of the world had been clearly focused on what we saw as this little boy walked to the front of a synagogue tall and straight and strong. I wish you could have heard him as the words — uttered those words that moved him into the manhood of the faith of his forefathers.”

1100 Push-ups in a day: Six Miles Non-Stop: Zig Ziglar, “I wish you could have seen what we saw knowing what we knew because you see at that time he had done as many as eleven hundred push-ups in a single day. He had run as much as six miles non-stop.”

Golf in high 80s, Best Table Tennis player, Mathematician: 

Mr. Ziglar continues, “He was shooting golf in the high 80s, one of the best table tennis players in Winnipeg, Canada, he had entered as a seventh grader, St. John’s Ravens court school for boys where this little boy who was never going to be able to count to ten did quite well in 9^th grade mathematics.”

Parents, Bernie and Elaine Lofchick Did What Needed to Be Done for David’s Success:

Zig Ziglar, “And I tell you the story of David Lofchick because it involves so many of the principles in which I believe it begins with the right foundation of honesty and character and faith and loyalty, and yes, love. Oh! What a love story this one is!”

“ You see every night this little boy used to have to put his braces on and every night he would say, dad, do we have to put him on tonight or mom can’t we just leave him off tonight or do we have to put him so tight and you mothers and fathers know what I speak of when you have a little boy with tears running down his cheeks, pleading don’t put them on tonight. But because they did love him so much. They did not listen to the tears of the moment because they wanted to see the laughter of a lifetime. And that, ladies and gentlemen, really what love is all about, because you see so many of us as parents are reluctant to do for the child what is best for the child, because we fear that child then might withhold his love from us, not knowing that over the long haul the best way to guarantee his love is to demonstrate ours by acting in his best interest.”

Mr. Ziglar continues, “I tell the story of David Lofchick because it involves so many of the principles in which I believe they had a beautiful relationship with others, the doctors and the nurses. You see, they all had a part — the therapists all had a part; you don’t climb the high mountain by yourself; it is in conjunction with others that we really accomplish the major things in life. That’s why I like to tell the story of David Lofchick because it’s a story of cooperation.”

Goals, Positive attitude, Persistence: Keep telling Your Child He Can Do It:

Zig Ziglar, “I tell the story because it’s a story of goals — of big goals of lifetime goals, of monthly goals, weekly goals, hourly goals, even ladies and gentlemen. I tell the story of David Lofchick because it involves so much in attitude. You talk about attitude, this boy since he was too small to carry it, used to have his own cassette player and every day that little mind was fed with the good, the clean, the pure, the powerful, the positive messages over and over and over: you can do it son; you can do it.”

“See, we live in such a negative world, that unless we deliberately read the good books daily, unless we deliberately regularly feed our minds with, those motivational recordings, that in essence remind us over and over in a negative world that we ourselves can be positive if we have the positive input.”

Getting Up an Hour Early to Warm up to play on Hockey Team in Canada:

“For one solid winner, David set the alarm clock one hour earlier than any other member of the family. The wind chill in Winnipeg, Canada hits as much as 80 degrees below zero. He put those skates on. He literally crawled out to the frozen ice and it took him one solid winter to learn how to stand up. Later he skated on the neighborhood hockey team. Now I tell the story ladies and gentlemen because you see it wasn’t easy but I think if you were to talk to David Lofchick today he would tell you that you do not pay the price for good health. You enjoy that prize.”

Today David Lofchick is the number 1 real estate agent in Winnipeg, Canada. 

Zig Ziglar, “I was speaking out in Amarillo, a young couple seated down on the front row were visibly moved with a story of David Lofchick and they came to me and they got the address of the doctor who had taken Dr. Pearlstein’s place on his death and they went to Chicago and this doctor examined their little girl whom they said had cerebral palsy. Little girl was about 18 months old and this doctor examined their little baby girl very carefully and he said this little girl does not have cerebral palsy. It was a misdiagnosis. She was simply born prematurely. She has all of the symptoms today of cerebral palsy because you have been treating her for the disease and she now has acquired all the symptoms. They started treating her as a normal child, beautiful and happy and she is moving well today.” (Zig Ziglar’s, See You At the Top)

If your child was born with a health or physical impairment wouldn’t you do everything in your power to make your child whole again? 

Wouldn’t you just like Bernie and Elaine Lofchick find the right doctor , medical personnel, coach, or teacher to help you make your child whole again?

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Business". Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available everywhere books are sold. If you need a virtual speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com

The Sound of Success by Madeline Frank, Ph.D

Napoleon Hill, author of "Think And Grow Rich" shares the Story of his son Blair.  

 

Napoleon Hill’s son came into the world without any physical sign of ears, and the doctor admitted, when pressed for an opinion, that the child might be deaf, and mute for life.

 

Silently, “I challenged the doctor's opinion as the child's father. I, too, reached a decision.” He decided he would find the right words to heal his son so he would be able to hear.  

 

Mr. Hill said, “As Blair grew older, and began to take notice of things around him, we observed that he had a slight degree of hearing. When he reached the age when children usually begin talking, he made no attempt to speak, but we could tell by his actions that he could hear certain sounds slightly. That was all I wanted to know! I was convinced that if he could hear, even slightly, he might develop even greater hearing capacity.” 

 

Victrola (record player):

Mr. and Mrs. Hill “bought a Victrola. When the child heard the music for the first time, he went into ecstasies, and promptly appropriated the machine. He soon showed a preference for certain records, among them, "It's a Long Way to Tipperary." On one occasion, he played that piece over and over, for almost two hours, standing in front of the Victrola, with his teeth clamped on the edge of the case. The significance of this self-formed habit of his did not become clear to us until years afterward, for we had never heard of the principle of "bone conduction" of sound at that time.”

 

Mr. Hill, “Shortly after he appropriated the Victrola, I discovered that he could hear me quite clearly when I spoke with my lips touching his mastoid bone, or right behind where the ears should be. Having determined that he could hear the sound of my voice plainly, I began, immediately, to transfer to his mind the desire to hear and speak. I soon discovered that the child enjoyed bedtime stories, so I went to work, creating stories designed to develop in him self-reliance, imagination, and a keen desire to hear and to be normal.”

 

Mr. Hill continues, “As I analyze the experience in retrospect, I can see now that my son's faith in me had much to do with the astounding results. He did not question anything I told him. I sold him the idea that he had a distinct advantage over his older brother, and that this advantage would reflect itself in many ways.” 

 

Blair’s mother, Florence Elizabeth Horner Hill visited his teachers and arranged with them to give the child the extra attention necessary.

 

 (“His teachers in school observed he had no ears, and, because of this, they showed him special attention and treated him with extraordinary kindness. They always did.”)

 

Say Positive Good Things:  Believe in your Child:

Napoleon Hill, “I sold him the idea that when he became old enough to sell newspapers, (his older brother had already become a newspaper merchant), he would have a big advantage over his brother, for the reason that people would pay him extra money for his wares, because they could see that he was a bright, industrious boy, despite the fact he had no ears. Gradually we noticed, “the child's hearing was improving. Moreover, he had not the slightest tendency to be self-conscious, because of his affliction.”

 

Blair was Determined to sell newspapers:

At 7 years of age,  Blair “begged for the privilege of selling newspapers, but his mother would not give her consent. She was afraid that his deafness made it unsafe for him to go on the street alone. Finally, he took matters into his own hands. One afternoon, when he was left at home with the servants, he climbed through the kitchen window, shimmied to the ground, and set out on his own.” 

 

Borrowing “six cents in capital from the neighborhood shoemaker, he invested it in papers, sold out, reinvested, and kept repeating until late in the evening. After balancing his accounts, and paying back the six cents he had borrowed from his banker, he had a net profit of forty-two cents. When we got home that night, we found him in bed asleep, with the money tightly clenched in his hand."

 

"His mother opened his hand, removed the coins, and cried. Of all things! Crying over her son's first victory seemed so inappropriate. My reaction was the reverse. I laughed heartily, for I knew that my endeavor to plant in the child's mind an attitude of faith in himself had been successful."

 

“His mother saw, in his first business venture, a little deaf boy who had gone out in the streets and risked his life to earn money. I saw a brave, ambitious, self-reliant little business man whose stock in himself had increased a hundred percent, because he had gone into business on his own initiative, and had won. The transaction pleased me, because I knew that he had given evidence of a trait of resourcefulness that would go with him all through life.” 

 

On the other hand, “when his older brother wanted something, he would lie down on the floor, kick his feet in the air, cry for it--and get it. When the "little deaf boy" wanted something, he would plan a way to earn the money, then buy it for himself. He still follows that plan!”

 

“Truly, my own son has taught me that handicaps can be converted into stepping stones on which one may climb toward some worthy goal, unless they are accepted as obstacles, and used as alibis.”

 

Continued to keep learning despite being Deaf:

Our son, “went through the grades, high school, and college without being able to hear his teachers, except when they shouted loudly, at close range.”

 

Parents say no to Sign Language:

“We would not permit him to learn sign language. We were determined that he should live a normal life, and associate with normal children, and we stood by that decision, although it cost us many heated debates with school officials.”

 

 When he was “in high school he tried an electrical hearing aid, but it was of no value to him; due, we believed, to a condition that was disclosed when the child was six, by Dr. J. Gordon Wilson, of Chicago, when he operated on one side of the boy's head, and discovered that there was no sign of natural hearing equipment.”

 

 

Beginning of his Changed World:

Napoleon Hill, “During Blair’s last week in college …he came into possession of another electrical hearing device, which was sent to him on trial. He was slow about testing it, due to his disappointment with a similar device. Finally, he picked the instrument up, and more or less carelessly, placed it on his head, hooked up the battery, and lo! as if by a stroke of magic, his lifelong desire for normal hearing became a reality! For the first time in his life he heard practically as well as any person with normal hearing. "

 

“Overjoyed because of the Changed World which had been brought to him through his hearing device, Blair rushed to the telephone, called his mother, and heard her voice perfectly. The next day Blair plainly heard the voices of his professors in class, for the first time in his life! Previously he could hear them only when they shouted, at short range. He heard the radio. He heard the talking pictures. For the first time in his life, he could converse freely with other people, without the necessity of having to speak loudly. Truly, he had come into possession of a changed world.”

 

Blair writes to the manufacture of hearing aid: 

“Hardly realizing the significance of what had already been accomplished, but intoxicated with the joy of his newly discovered world of sound, he wrote a letter to the manufacturer of the hearing-aid, enthusiastically describing his experience.” 

 

Blair wrote “something in his letter; something, perhaps which was not written on the lines, but back of them, caused the company to invite him to New York. When he arrived, he was escorted through the factory, and while talking with the Chief Engineer, telling him about his changed world, a hunch, an idea, or an inspiration--call it what you wish--flashed into his mind. It was this impulse of thought which converted his affliction into an asset, destined to pay dividends in both money and happiness to thousands for all time to come.”

 

To Blair it “occurred he might be of help to the millions of deaf people who go through life without the benefit of hearing devices, if he could find a way to tell them the story of his Changed World. He reached a decision to devote the remainder of his life to rendering useful service to the hard of hearing. For an entire month, he carried on intensive research, during which he analyzed the entire marketing system of the manufacturer of the hearing device, and created ways and means of communicating with the hard of hearing all over the world.”

 

Blair’s two-year plan to help others who are deaf:

Blair Hill wrote “a two-year plan on his findings. When he presented the plan to the company, he was instantly given a position, for the purpose of carrying out his ambition. He was destined to bring hope and practical relief to thousands of deafened people who, without his help, would have been doomed forever to deaf mutism.”

 

“Shortly after Blair became associated with the manufacturer of his hearing aid, he invited his father, Napoleon Hill to attend a class conducted by his company, for the purpose of teaching deaf mutes to hear, and to speak.”

 

Napoleon Hill said, “I had never heard of such a form of education; therefore, I visited the class. Here I saw a demonstration which gave me a greatly enlarged vision of what I had done to arouse and keep alive in my son's mind the desire for normal hearing. I saw deaf mutes actually being taught to hear and to speak, through application of the self-same principle I had used, more than twenty years previously, in saving my son from deaf mutism.”

 

Napoleon Hill continues, “There is no doubt in my mind that Blair would have been a deaf mute all his life, if his mother and I had not managed to shape his mind as we did. The doctor who attended at his birth told us, confidentially, the child might never hear or speak. A few weeks ago, Dr. Irving Voorhees, a noted specialist on such cases, examined Blair very thoroughly. He was astounded when he learned how well my son now hears, and speaks, and said his examination indicated that "theoretically, the boy should not be able to hear at all." But the lad does hear, despite the fact that X-ray pictures show there is no opening in the skull, whatsoever, from where his ears should be to the brain.”

 

What do you think Blair’s life would have looked like if his parents hadn’t encouraged him to create the life he wanted? 

It all began with Napoleon Hill planting in his son’s mind the Desire to hear and talk as a normal person.

Napoleon Hill said, “It would be unforgivable if I neglected to tell the world as much as I know of the humble part I assumed in the strange experience. It is my duty, and a privilege to say I believe, and not without reason, that nothing is impossible to the person who backs desire with enduring faith. I planted in his mind the desire to convert his greatest handicap into his greatest asset. That desire has been realized. The modus operandi by which this astounding result was achieved is not hard to describe.”

 

He continues, “It consisted of three very definite facts; 

1. I mixed faith with the desire for normal hearing, which I passed on to my son. 

2. I communicated my desire to him in every conceivable way available, through persistent, continuous effort, over a period of years. 

3. He believed me!”

 

 

 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Business". Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available everywhere books are sold. If you need a virtual speaker contact Madeline at: mfrankviola@gmail.com