Everyone Needs Encouragement by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

 

Every person in life needs positive encouragement to motivate and inspire them for success. Dr. George Adams says, “Encouragement is the oxygen of the soul.”

 

 Dr. John C. Maxwell, the number 1 leadership expert in the world says, “When I’m interacting with people one -on-one, I try to practice the thirty -second rule, which I wrote about in my book “25 Ways to Win with People”. Within thirty seconds of a conversation, I try to say something encouraging to the person I’m interacting with.”

 

He continues, “When my daughter Elizabeth was a youngster she once told me, “Dad I love the way you look people in the eye and say something positive about them when you meet them,”

 

He said, “that made my heart smile.”

 

George W. Crane, medical doctor, psychologist, professor, and author taught in Chicago in the 1920’s at North Western University. When he began teaching students in his evening classes, he found that his adult students were older working in businesses, stores, factories, and offices during the day. Each of them desired to improve their education at night. Some of his students told him they felt isolated and shy. He designed his first assignment to help his students connect with others.

 

Dr. Crane said to his class, “You are to use your psychology every day either at home or work on the streetcars and buses. For the first month, your written assignment will be the Compliment Club. Every day you are to pay an honest compliment to each of three different persons… for 30 consecutive days.”

 

Dr. Crane said, “At the end of the 30-day experiment, I want you to write a theme or paper on your experiences. Include the changes you have noted in the people around you, as well as your own altered outlook on life.”

 

As his students complimented others their lives changed and improved too! And by complimenting others they too were motivated, encouraged, and inspired as well. Dr. Crane said, “Appreciative words are the most powerful force for good on earth.” (Compliment Club)

 

As a teacher I have watched my students, colleagues, family members, and friends blossom from words of encouragement. By giving them a sincere compliment, they have the energy and the desire to try harder at whatever they are working on. Everyone in life needs positive encouragement to help them grow, inspire and motivate them to succeed. The “Power of Encouragement” gives us hope that we can succeed and everyone needs it!

 

A fabulous story of motivating and inspiring students is “All the Good Things” by Sister Helen P. Mrosla. She was teaching her eighth-grade math students a very difficult math concept and her students were very frustrated. This is when she asked her students to write down all the students' names in the class, on two sheets of paper, and to leave room to write, “the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates”.

After class, Sister Mrosla made a separate list of these wonderful compliments on two sheets of note book paper for each student and handed them out to her students the following Monday. Her students were all glowing with happiness after reading their sheets. Many years later she would be asked to attend Mark Eklund’s funeral by his parents. 

 

Her former student was killed in Vietnam. When she spoke to his parents after the funeral they shared with Sister Mrosla the two sheets of notebook paper that she had written down “all the good things” his classmates had written about him. These two sheets were well worn and were in his pocket when he died.

 

Mark’s mother said, “Thank you so much for doing that. As you can see, Mark treasured it.” 

 

These words of praise can last a lifetime. In all of life, people need praise and encouragement to improve, to be inspired, to learn, and to grow. When President Abraham Lincoln died, among the items in his pocket were 8 newspaper clippings on positive things said about him during his re-election campaign. During his Presidency, Lincoln was maligned many times by the newspapers.

 

These 8 newspaper clippings, President Lincoln read and re-read just as Mark Eklund read and re-read “all the good things” said about him by his classmates. Both men “treasured” their sheets. Words of praise can last a lifetime!

 

Compliments I have given to others:

“The carrot cake you made for me was so delicious.”

 “Your smile lights up the room.”

 “You are so optimistic and cheerful.”

  “Your blouse looks so lovely on you.”

   “I am so proud of you for the work you have done”

 

So, what are the three simple things you can do beginning today, for your ten-day challenge to inspire, encourage, and motivate others around you?

 

1) As Dr. George Crane said, “Every day pay an honest compliment to each of three different persons.” Coach John Wooden said “Be specific with your praise.”

 

2) Follow Dr. John Maxwell’s “30 second rule” and say your inspiring and encouraging words within 30 seconds of talking to someone. Dave Sheffield, motivational speaker and author says, “Happy employee’s equal happy customers”. This should be your motto for connecting with your students, family members, your colleagues, and anyone else you are around.

 

3) Every evening at home think of several “honest compliments” you can give to “3 different people” you will be coming in contact with the next day. They can be family members, business co -workers, students, friends, and strangers. Happy people are inspired and motivated to do better work. Give the gift of compliments and you will be given a gift in return.

 

So, begin today to train your mind to look for the good in people to brighten their day and your day. Always begin with an “honest compliment”! Remember words of encouragement motivate and inspire us to do a better job, to improve our skills, and work at a higher level. © 2025, 2013 Madeline Frank

 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Business". Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available everywhere books are sold.  Contact Madeline Frank for your next live or zoom speaking engagement at mfrankviola@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life Lessons from General Colin Powell by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

Colin Powell was born in Harlem, New York on April 5, 1937 to Jamaican immigrants Maud Ariel McKoy Powell and Luther Theophilus Powell. He was raised in the South Bronx and attended the New York Public Schools. He had an older sister.

 

Early years:

In 1950, the South Bronx during post war baby boom years “was the home of a large, thriving,” and vibrant community of mainly Jewish residence. There were synagogues, kosher bakeries, kosher butchers, and a baby equipment store called Sickser’s. There slogan was “Everything for the Baby”.

 

Mr. Sickser, with the assistance of his son in law Lou Kirshner, “ran a business out of the needs of the rapidly expanding child care population.” Business at Sickser’s was so busy on one beautiful spring day that Mr. Sickser and his son-in-law were unable to handle all their customers. They needed help. “Mr. Sickser ran out of the store and stopped the first youth he spotted on the street.”

 

"Young man," he panted, "how would you like to make a little extra money? I need some help in the store. You want to work a little?"

“The tall, lanky African-American young man flashed a toothy smile back. "Yes, sir, I'd like some work."

 

"Well then, let's get started." The young man, Colin Powell, "followed his new employer into the store.”

“Mr. Sickser was immediately impressed with his good manners and demeanor. As the days went by and he came again and again to lend his help, Mr. Sickser became increasingly impressed with the youth's diligence, punctuality and readiness to learn. Eventually Mr. Sickser made him a regular employee at the store. It was gratifying to find an employee with an almost soldier-like willingness to perform even the most menial of tasks, and to perform them well.”

Colin Powell from the age of 13 until his sophomore year in college worked “from 12-15 hours a week, at 50 to 75 cents an hour.”

 “Colin would later recall that Sickser's offered the one stable point in his life those days.”

He appreciated “the steady employment” and “the friendly atmosphere Mr. Sickser's store offered. Mr. Sickser learned in time about their helper's Jamaican origins, and he in turn picked up a good deal of Yiddish. In time young Colin was able to converse fairly well with his employers, and more importantly, with a number of the Jewish customers whose English was not fluent.” (Warren Boroson, August 25, 2011, A (Jewish) Bronx Tale, Jewish Standard. Times)

 

College:

Colin Powell at 17, continued to work part time at Sickser’s and began his first semester at City College of New York.  “He fit in just fine with his, for the most part Jewish, classmates.” 

“The engineering and later geology courses he chose proved quite challenging.”  

Collin Powell said, “It was only once I was in college, about six months into college when I found something that I liked, and that was ROTC, Reserve Officer Training Corps in the military. And I not only liked it, but I was pretty good at it. That's what you really have to look for in life, something that you like, and something that you think you're pretty good at. And if you can put those two things together, then you're on the right track, and just drive on.”

 

When he “shifted his study focus to ROTC he became a straight A student.” (Colin Powell Wikipedia)

 

Colin Powell said, “I became a leader almost immediately. Race, color, background, income meant nothing. [We] would go to the limit for each other and for the group.” 

 

In 1958, he earned his Bachelor of Science in geology at City College of New York. “He held the distinction of being the first chairman to have attained his commission through the ROTC.” 

 

In 1971, Colin Powell graduated with an MBA at George Washington University.

and in 1990 he received an honorary doctor of public service. (Colin Powell Wikipedia)

 

Army Career:

In 1958, Colin Powell began active duty as an army second lieutenant. 

“The army had been desegregated just a few years earlier, but Powell refused to let racists and bigots “rent space in [my] head,” as he put it in a TV One television network interview in 2004. “I’ve never let my color or racism be a problem for me,” Powell explained. “Let it be a problem for the racists, never for me, because if you let it become your problem, then you’re weakened, and you start to doubt yourself.” 

 

"That’s not to say he never got angry. (He remembers peeling out of the parking lot of an Alabama fast-food restaurant after being refused service at the drive-up window, for example.) His style, however, was to focus on solutions.”

 

Colin Powell married Alma Vivian Johnson, audiologist, on August 25, 1962. They had three children. 

 

“When he and his new bride were assigned to live at Fort Bragg in North Carolina, Powell was unable to find suitable housing and contemplated sending his wife, who was pregnant with their first child, back to her parents’ house in Birmingham. An army pal insisted they stay with his family – despite the neighbors’ consternation at a black couple living with a white family – and Powell and his wife slept in kid-size bunk beds. For Powell, success has always been about coupling a big-picture focus with a drive to prove his opponents wrong by sticking it out and doing his best. “By doing my best every day, day after day, year after year,” he writes, “I finally got to the top.”

 

He served “two tours of duty in Vietnam.” He “rose to the top ranks of the U.S. military. In 1989, under President George Bush, Colin Powell was sworn in as the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.”

 “In 1993, two years after he guided the American victory over Iraq in the Gulf War, Colin Powell visited the Holy Land. Upon meeting Israel's Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir in Jerusalem, he greeted the Israeli with the words Men kent reden Yiddish — "We can speak Yiddish."  (Warren Boroson, August 25, 2011, A (Jewish) Bronx Tale, Jewish Standard. Times)

 

“Shot Callers and Brawlers”

“When he rose in the ranks, working under Presidents Ronald Reagan, George Bush, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush, Powell never hesitated to give his honest input, even if it ruffled feathers. “I’ve said to the president, ‘You don’t pay me to give you happy talk, you pay me to tell you what I think." 

“Powell revealed in an interview with teenink.com, during which he encouraged young people to stand up for their beliefs and speak their minds.”

 

“In 1990, Powell was at a high-level meeting to plan a response to Saddam Hussein’s march into Kuwait. As the meeting wound down, Powell felt a key question had been sidestepped: would the United States be willing to go to war to liberate Kuwait? Although he knew the question might be premature and should not technically come from him, he remembered his repugnance for leaders who let the Vietnam War go on without pressing political leaders for clear objectives. He brought up the issue and was greeted by a palpable chill. Later, then Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney rebuked him for the broach of protocol. Still, Powell remained unapologetic. “

 

“I’ve told this to many bosses over the years,” Powell told teenink.com . “If you don’t want me to tell you what I think, then you need to find somebody else, because if you ask me a question, I’m going to answer it, and it’s kind of irrelevant to me whether you like the answer.” 

 

“According to Powell, debates exist in all healthy organizations. “We’re supposed to sharpen the edges of debate, we’re supposed to argue with each other, we’re supposed to examine issues fully and without filters to help the president with issues,” he says. “So, if Don Rumsfeld comes from one point of view and I come from another and the vice president does and the director of Central Intelligence does, and we argue and debate and fight about it, this doesn’t mean the place is falling apart; it means it’s working.”

 

 After the boss has made a decision, however, Powell considers it imperative to support it fully, no matter what his personal opinion might be. “Once a decision has been made,” he said in his autobiography, “the debate ends.” 

 

“Powell demands the same kind of honesty from his own subordinates. As a general, for example, he always asked his commanders to speak up, share bad news quickly and ask questions if his guidance seemed unclear, even if that meant asking continued questions after repeated explanations. “The worst thing,” he wrote in his autobiography, “was for subordinates to labor in ignorance in order to conceal their confusion and wind up doing the wrong thing.”

 

“Powell can be as tough as they come, but those who’ve worked with him point out that he is also incredibly personable and engaging. “A friend of mine was an ambassador to Amman, and when he came back from his tour of duty, there was a note on his desk from Powell, thanking him for everything he’d done,” says General Anthony Zinni, USMC (ret.), who served as Powell’s special envoy to the Middle East from November 2002 to March 2003. “That had never happened before,” Zinni says. “He never had the secretary of state come down and shake his hand.” (Mission Critical: Leadership Lessons from Colin Powell by SellingPower .com/7045) 

 

“From the Front Lines”

“Leadership can be lonely, but Powell never hid behind his lofty titles and trappings of power. In fact, he will go out of his way to eliminate the invisible lines of power that can cut leaders off from vital information. “In the military, when you become a four-star general, people will do anything you even suggest you want. If you say a wall looks a little dirty, by sundown, it’s painted. I had to work at breaking down that deference to hear from my people,” Powell said in Oren Harari’s Leadership Secrets of Colin Powell.” (McGraw-Hill, 2002). 

 

“Over the years Powell developed ways of making himself available to anyone who might want to share a problem or idea with him. During his army command, he made a habit of walking a fixed route at the same time each day. Everyone keeps an eye on the boss and his habits, and soldiers quickly learned to take advantage of this valuable face time. As chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Powell outright encouraged employees to enter and leave his office “without exaggerated ceremony.” He kept round tables in his office and conference rooms, so no one would ever occupy the head seat. His desk was colossal in size, but when people entered his office, he was quick to come out from behind it for a handshake, and he was known for conducting discussions in a small alcove adjoining his office.”

 

“Behind these tactics is Powell’s desire to keep one ear to the ground. “He was always very interested to hear from people on the front line,” Zinni says. “He talked to me every day and called me anytime there was a policy or strategic decision being made at the senior levels. He wants the views from the people who are going to execute those decisions. That’s one thing everyone loves about him – that ability to bring subordinates in and involve them.” 

 “And with Powell, it’s genuine,” Zinni adds. “It’s not a put-on, and it’s not forced. He likes to seek people out at every level and always demonstrates his appreciation for what they do and for what they have to say.”

 

“Powell believes that knowing the opinions of those at the bottom will better inform the decisions made by those at the top. By constantly taking the pulse of the organization from head to toe, Powell feels confident in backing his team to the hilt, even if it puts him in a tight spot. During Operation Desert Storm, General Norman Schwarzkopf told Powell he needed a few extra days before the agreed-upon date to start the ground campaign. The president was anxious to get the campaign underway, but Powell got his approval to wait a few days. Then Schwarzkopf made a second request for more time, citing issues with the weather.”

 

“Powell, under no small amount of pressure himself, told Schwarzkopf the delays were getting difficult to explain to the higher-ups. Schwarzkopf exploded that Powell didn’t understand his problems and didn’t care about the lives of the soldiers.”

 “That did it,” Powell told PBS’s Frontline in 1996. “I exploded and started shouting back at him. And we got into a pretty good row. But then we have the utmost respect and affection for each other. I think the world of Norm. And we knew we’d better stop talking. So, I said, ‘Look, Norm, we’ve got a problem. We’ll work our way through.’” Schwarzkopf confessed that the pressure was building. “I think I’m losing it,” he said. “I feel like my head’s in a vise.” 

General Colin Powell, “You’re not losing it. You have our total confidence, but you’ve got a problem. We’ll work our way through this problem. You know at the end of the day, I will carry your message forward. You’re the guy in the field.” 

 

“For Powell, the exchange was an exercise in an old lesson he learned watching two lawyers going at it – the lawyer who won the case later attributed his success not to the strength of his argument, but to the fact that the opponent let his ego get in the way. “Never let your ego get so close to your position that you lose your case and your ego at the same time,” Powell said at a speech at the fifth-annual Information Privacy Forum sponsored by InfoUSA in Aspen, CO. Powell took Schwarzkopf’s request to Cheney. “I told him, ‘We’ve got to wait a little while,’” Powell said. Half an hour later, the weather cleared, and Schwarzkopf was able to start the ground campaign with no further delays. “

 

“Powell, who retired from his position as secretary of state on November 15, 2004, continued to give speeches and promote the charity he founded in 1997, America’s Promise, with the objective of improving resources and education for children. He is not a man who likes to look back at turning points, greatest achievements or his most memorable moments. It’s no surprise that if he does have a definition of success, it’s wrapped up in the people who give their all for him, just as he gives his all in the work he does on behalf of the nation. As he told the Academy of Achievement: “No medal, no nice introduction, no awards could substitute for the knowledge I have that I’m reasonably well respected by my fellow soldiers. If I didn’t have that, I would have considered this to be a busted career.” (Mission Critical: Leadership Lessons from Colin Powell by SellingPower .com/7045) 

 

Secretary of State Colin L. Powell’s Thirteen Rules of Leadership (Oct. 18, 2021) 1937-2021

"As we reflect on former Secretary of State Colin Powell’s legacy, we are reminded of his thirteen rules of leadership which have guided so many of our colleagues and principals. We are grateful for his love of the State Department and his legacy that we still feel in the workplace. "

 

Secretary Powell’s 13 Rules:

1. “ It ain’t as bad as you think! It will look better in the morning." 

2.  "Get mad then get over it."

3.  "Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it."

4. " It can be done."

5. "Be careful what you choose. You may get it." 

6. "Don’t let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision." 

7.  " You can’t make someone else’s choices. You shouldn’t let someone else make yours." 

8.  "Check small things."

9.  "Share credit."

10. "Remain calm. Be kind."

11. " Have a vision. Be demanding." 

12. "Don’t take counsel of your fears or naysayers."

13. " Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier."

 

General Colin Powell died on October 18, 2021. He was "an American statesman, diplomat, and army officer who was the 65th United States secretary of state from 2001 to 2005. He was the first African-American to hold the office. He was the 15th national security advisor from 1987 to 1989, and the 12th chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff from 1989 to 1993.” 

  

 General Colin Powell “whose decades long career repeatedly made history and who was for years the Republican statesman, often discussed his leadership philosophy, famously saying Leadership is solving problems.”  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Discipline: To Separate Yourself from the Masses by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

Darren Hardy, mentor, speaker, and author shared the following story: In Isaiah Thomas' first season with the Boston Celtics in 2016, he met legend Kobe Bryant, in his last season with Los Angeles Lakers. "Isaiah had a once in a lifetime opportunity to ask a question to Kobe Bryant."

 

He asked Kobe Bryant, “How did you lock in your whole career, eliminate distractions, eliminate everything that could take your focus away from your ultimate goal?”

 

Kobe replied, “without thinking or blinking”. “You know how a lion, when he’s hunting for food, there’s probably a hundred thousand little insects crawling all over him. It’s all over his body, his eyes. The lion never lets these pesky distractions take his eyes off the prize, his food. Because if he takes his eyes off his food, he might not eat for six months, and his pride might starve to death.”

 

Kobe continued, “for the media, the outsiders, they are saying, I can’t do this. They’re not in the gym with me at 4am. They’re not with me when I’m putting in the work, so I don’t listen to anything they say. No matter how bad or good it is, I’m focused on one prize and that is being the best player to ever play the game, and winning a championship for my team.”

 

Isaiah, "what he said shook me. After that conversation, everything changed for me. My focus changed and my energy was different after that conversation.” 

 

Isaiah Thomas is “five nine, a hundred and eighty-five pounds. He went from averaging 16.4 points per game with a 22% shooting percentage to over 30 points per game and a 43% shooting percentage the very next year.”

 

 Kobe was saying, “As you are running the race for your life’s success, your goal, your family don’t let name callers, bugs in your face, expressions of jealousy derail you and stop you from winning. Stay focused on the race and do not let anyone or anything (bugs all over your body) stop you!”  (Kobe Bryant coached Isaiah Thomas in texts, telephone calls and watching game videos together helping him become a better player. Kobe helped other players too!)

Discipline teaches work ethics: 

It’s all involved with discipline.

 

The discipline of preparation:

I have two friends that are Firemen. They have their fire equipment at the ready, so within minutes they are ready for a fire. They practice for fires in gear with their air pack to be ready within 90 seconds. Once you develop discipline it becomes part of you, a positive good habit.

 

No matter if the firefighters are exhausted after extinguishing a large fire, the hoses are loaded back onto the apparatus the same way…every time. They need to know where everything is at when the tones drop at 3 am. 

Perfect.  True discipline gives you the freedom to do your best and be your best self, allowing yourself to achieve success. For example: cleaning up after yourself and keeping your work place organized.  

 

As you journey through life there will be many obstacles, boulders, and distractions in your way. Name them and they will lose power!  There will be pain and suffering along the way. These events will make you stronger and help you to learn and grow.

 

Kobe Bryant said, “I have nothing in common with lazy people who blame others for their lack of success. Great things come from hard work and perseverance. No excuses.” (His “relentless work ethic.”) Kobe began work at 4am every morning. That’s discipline. 

 Daily Discipline:

 

 In our lives, we need to be disciplined in both our mind and in our body to keep free of mental clutter and /or physical clutter.

 Just like you brush your teeth twice a day to cut down on bacteria that feed over your body and we bathe every day. This is all about our daily discipline.  

 

Part of discipline is teaching our kids to wash their hands and dry them after using the bathroom. Harvard Medical School says, “In studies, washing hands with soap and water for 30 seconds --bacterial counts drop by close to 99.9%. They also say, “It takes about 20 seconds to dry your hands well if you're using paper or cloth towels. It’s all about training and discipline!”

 

How to teach discipline to children! “The do it now moto”:

Instead of being bored lazy children give them chores and teach them discipline.

 

As a young child I learned the value of hard work from my parents, Robert J Frank, the first college graduate of his family who then went on to become a surgeon. Dad first worked as a waiter at a restaurant near the University of Virginia to pay for college. Later he was an assistant to his Professor of Physics teaching classes at the university. My Momma, Romayne Leader Frank, worked as a lifeguard and model to put her through college at the University of Michigan. After marrying Dad, she finished her education at the University of Virginia earning a teacher’s degree. Later Momma worked at Sears and Roebucks as a sales person and on the side wrote political speeches for politicians at $50 a speech to pay for Dad’s residency and internship in medicine. A married woman in those days was not allowed to teach school.

 

 As I was growing up my Dad’s patients were fisherman and farmers who paid for Dad’s services with fish and vegetables. Money was hard to come by. We always had a garden in the back yard growing vegetables and learned to till the soil with rakes, plant seeds, pull weeds, and pick the crops for meals. As a child every week, my parents gave me a “list of chores” to do, kitchen clean up, mowing the lawn, trimming the bushes, and taking care of my younger siblings. My parents said as a member of this family you will do these chores “now”! There were no excuses. The work had to be done immediately!

“Earning things instead of being given them.”

 

Age appropriate chores help build discipline and can allow the child to realize a sense of accomplishment.

 

 What did I learn from the discipline of doing these chores?  “Their do it now” principle!

 

Whether it was washing dishes, mowing the lawn, taking care of my siblings,  doing a homework assignment that was due in a week- my parents’ motto was “Do it now!” Do not wait! You will be busy later.

 

These chores gave me the discipline for my future. When I went to college and was given an assignment due a few days after, I would do the assignment immediately! Later when something needed immediate attention, like a door knob would be falling off, I would immediately repair it! Whatever needed to be done I would do it “immediately”, remembering my parents’ motto, “Do it now!” These chores taught me to be responsible, accountable, respectful to others, and appreciative of any kindness given.

 

 How did I thank my parents for teaching me to be disciplined and responsible?

 

By sharing their life lessons with others, by writing articles, and radio shows sharing their life lessons with others.

 

Teaching the Discipline of Hard Work:

 

Meredith Lynn MacRae, actress, credits her parents’ singer/actor, Gordon MacRae and actress, Sheila MacRae “with instilling a proper work ethic in her and for keeping her feet on the ground.”

 

She said, “We lived in a modest home in the San Fernando Valley instead of the fashionable Beverly Hills, which the family could have afforded. Mom and Dad didn’t want us to feel superior to the other kids. I had to earn the things I wanted, all the way from dolls to party gowns, by doing chores around the house and taking care of my younger sister and brothers. Lots of kids in my circle automatically got a car when they were 16. Not me. Dad said he would get me a car when I got straight A’s two years in a row in school. I slaved away and finally made it. I got the car with the warning that if I didn’t continue with straight A’s, it would be taken away.”

 

Doing chores, working for the things you want, brings discipline to your life and teaches you responsibility and accountability:

The chores Meredith Lynn MacRae’s parents gave her to do, instilled “a proper work ethic” for her future. These are the most valuable lessons a parent can give you.

Experts have said, “If she or he had not been spoiled to death, he or she might have turned out differently!”

 Chores taught Meredith Lynn MacRae and me to be willing to work hard to make our futures a certainty.

 

Do you remember the friends you had in high school who were given a car with no expectations of responsibility vs those friends who had to work for their car?

 

I'm sure you noticed the same difference that I did, regarding the level of care and appreciation they had for their vehicles.

 

When my kids were that age and a classmate was given a car, they got in trouble. The kids that had to work for the car appreciated it!

 

When you don't earn the things you want, you don't appreciate them.

 

Doing chores as a child teaches children to be accountable, responsible, and disciplined. This also builds a "proper work ethic" for their future.

 Zig Ziglar, motivational speaker and author, was the tenth of twelve children. He was born in "LA," (that's lower Alabama), and raised in Yazoo City, Mississippi. His Mom had a fifth-grade education, and his father died when he was 5 years old during the Depression.

 Zig said, "mom was a wise woman. We were all hard workers, because we had three milk cows and a large garden, and we survived despite all the difficulties." As a child Zig Ziglar's chore was to weed their big garden. When he told his Mom, he was done weeding the garden she would check to see how it was done. His Mother said, "For someone else's boy the job was done alright but for my boy you can do a better job!" He went and weeded that garden again and she rechecked it!

 Ziglar said, "We all experienced a wonderful childhood."

 

Ziglar said: "Well, first of all, my mother was a very wise woman, despite her limited education. She taught us with (one) sentence sermonettes. She taught us, 'Tell the truth/Tell it ever/Cost us what it will/For he who hides the wrong he did/Does the wrong thing still,' and 'When a task is once begun/You leave it not until it's done/And be a matter great or small/You do it well or not at all.' "Ziglar agreed that this was poetry. "She was a very wise, very disciplined, very loving lady, and those Biblical principles, that is what they are, is what we were raised on."

 

Dr. John Maxwell, #1 leadership guru, coach, and one of my mentors says, as a child he was given a list of chores to do at the beginning of the week.

 

If he had not finished his chores, he would not be allowed to go to the restaurant or the movies with his family during the weekends. Instead he would stay at home and finish his chores. He learned after that to do his chores on time.

 

What is the greatest gift you can give your children?

The greatest gift you can give your children is to teach them a good work ethic by giving them chores to do to earn the things they want and need.

Chores taught us how to work hard, to be accountable, responsible, and respectful, giving us a good foundation for our future.

 What’s the secret to the “Surefire Way to Reach your Potential”?

Discipline with laser-like focus!

 

What new discipline will you start today? 

 

Take the one-day challenge!

 

Below are five suggestions: Try one of them!

 

    1)   You have a large pile of papers on your desk.  Put the papers in order, file the informational documents in the right folders, and pay the bills according to the due dates on them. 

    2)  Right after cooking dinner, put the pots and pans in the sink to soak with soap and warm water. This way you can clean up quickly and easily after you eat.

 

    3)  Eat one scoop of ice cream instead of two. 

 

    4) Stop smoking cigarettes for one day.

 

    5)  As you run out of certain foods in your refrigerator, write down each food needed on a pad of paper. Then take your list to the grocery store.  

 

 Remember discipline is following through on some goal you have and not finding excuses to not finish the task. Don’t procrastinate. To be disciplined you have to take the first step. Don’t just talk about it. Do it. Take your first step. Then take your second step and follow through till you complete what you started. 

 

 It’s all about "Choosing Discipline"!

 

 

 Coach Nick Saban’s “Nothing Speech”

 

“If you wake up in the morning and you feel entitled, what would that get you?'"

 “The crowd and his cohosts roared back, "NOTHING!”

“Saban started to feel a bit of his Monday morning meeting energy.” "If you think somebody owes you something, what would you get? " "NOTHING!" "If you lose your discipline and your work ethic, what would that get you?

"NOTHING!"

 

"If you fail to prepare and pay attention to detail, what would that get you?"

 

"NOTHING1"

"So, nothing is more important than staying focused on being the best you can be no matter what you choose to do. “ Saban continued, making the point that expectations and reputations when the job was half finished amounted to nothing.”

 Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher,  concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Business". Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available everywhere books are sold. 

Contact Madeline Frank for your next live or zoom speaking engagement at mfrankviola@gmail.com

 

 

 

Helping Your Adult Child Navigate Shark Infested Waters! by Madeline Frank, Ph.D.

 Recently while traveling by airplane, I saw a fascinating documentary adventure from 2022 called Kekoa. It was 29 minutes and it was about two brothers growing up in rural Vermont building tree houses and other things. 

When Jamison Witbeck graduated with his undergraduate degree in psychology, he did not want to continue to grad school. 

 

His Mom said, “You have your degree and you are free of debt. Why don’t you do what you want to for a little bit.”.

 

Jamison said, “I want to build a wooden boat.” 

 

In the mid-1990s, Jamison moved to Charleston "to learn how to build wooden boats under the tutelage of local master builder Mark Bayne. Ryan, who was majoring in adventure education at Prescott College in Arizona, joined him. Together, they had a defining experience that changed their lives."

 

They worked for minimum wage and learned the craft. The two brothers who had not been close in years, found that their connection and bond grew over time while pursuing a common goal of building the boat. They worked together to build their own catamaran, and rescued it several times from hurricanes and storms. 

Once built, they began a successful charter business. 

 

They built the boat the Allura in 1999 and “later built a sailing business.” 

 

The power of mending:

This is a story that communicates how working shoulder to shoulder with someone can help them mend fences. 

 

Socratic Method and Deductive Reasoning Lessons & Negotiating

When our oldest child was in elementary school, he was bullied and bruised. 

(The elementary school teacher and principal did not care.) After there was no resolution to the bullying, my husband and I decided to purchase a home in a different city where several of my violin students happily attended the local public schools which were known for good academic programs. 

 

My husband and I found a lovely old house on the water being offered for sale by owner. We made an appointment to see the home. 

 

Even though I had built several new homes, rehabbed many old homes, and buildings, I asked for help from the best expert I knew. I called my Mom, a lawyer who specialized in real estate and family law. She asked me a series of questions which I wrote down so I could find out the information and let me arrive at the answers on my own. By doing this, it not only helped us purchase this home, but we’ve used this formula with many other transactions and have taught it to our children.

 

 

Momma’s questions:

 1)   What is the payoff for the home and how many mortgages do they have? At the time, we had to visit the courthouse to gather this information. Fortunately, this information is readily available with a few clicks of a mouse if you know where to look. 

 2)   Make another appointment to visit the house, and create a list of repairs needed. How much will it cost to have the work done by a reputable contractor bonded, licensed, and insured? 

I found out they had two loans on the house and how much they owed on the two loans. After visiting the house, a second time I wrote down the list of repairs the house would immediately need. The house needed a new roof, new electrical panel and wiring. Four columns in front of the house were rotted and held up by a prayer. The bulkhead and pier at the inlet at the river behind their house needed replacing.

 

Momma then asked: 

 

 3)   How much do they want for the house? 

 

Momma said, “Deduct from the amount the seller wants for their house, the repairs you will have to make on the house if you were to buy it. The amount you have left is what you should offer them for their house.

 

We offered that amount and the sellers countered back, asking for another $10,000. 

 

4)   Momma said, “offer them half that amount.” We offered them $5,000. They accepted our offer. We arranged for a mortgage at the bank for 15 years with a locked in fixed rate mortgage at 7 1/2 %.

 

My Mom used the Socratic Method of asking questions to help us clearly define and solve our problem. What did we learn from Mom’s questions? (Socratic Method., Deductive Reasoning.) 

 

We learned a logical progression, step by step analysis. We were guided by her questions to work out the problem logically, step by step, through her questions to seek the right information to make a good decision.

 

Asking the right questions will help you make the right decision developing a formula to tackle nearly any problem.  

 

 You can use the Socratic Method and Deductive Reasoning with your adult children the same way.

 

How to help your adult child to think and solve their own problems.

 1)   Listen carefully to what your adult child says without interrupting or judging them. It is easy to jump into “lecture mode” and tell them what they need to do…fight that urge at all costs! 

 

 2)   When they finish speaking, communicate a summary of what you think their challenges are so that you can best guide them to positive options. 

 

 3)    Ask questions, the Socratic Method or use Deductive Reasoning.

Merriam-Webster definition of the Socratic Method: “the method of inquiry and instruction employed by Socrates…consisting of a series of questioning the object of which is to elicit a clear and consistent expression of something supposed to be implicitly known by all rational beings.”

 

In plain English: ask pointed questions and ask them what they feel they should do. 

 

Socrates, the Greek philosopher, asked his students questions. “He believed that students already have deep knowledge within themselves, and that intensive questioning can reveal it. It's used to foster critical thinking by encouraging students to question their own unexamined beliefs.” 

 

4)  By empowering your adult child to find a solution and hold them accountable, they are given the gift of taking pride in what they helped to create.

 

 Helping them to think clearly to focus on solving their own problems using deductive reasoning, fostering critical thinking. The Socratic Method. 

 

5)   Respect their boundaries. If they come up with solutions that you wouldn’t have come up with, it does not mean that they are wrong…most decision making muscle is built by getting creative and learning the natural consequences of wrong decisions. 

 

 6)  Be patient and use supportive language. Encourage them to solve their own problems, offering your help when needed. Open communication is vital.

 

It is about helping your adult child navigate shark infested waters using the Socratic Method, deductive reasoning to foster critical thinking.

 

 

Madeline Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an  amazon.com Best Selling Author, speaker, business owner, teacher, John Maxwell Team Member, concert artist, and parent. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their Business". Her observations show you the blue prints necessary to improve and keep your business successful. Her latest book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget" is available everywhere books are sold.