Good relationships are all about connecting with others. How
good are you at connecting with your family, your friends, and your team
members at work?
Lady Jennie Jerome Churchill, the beautiful American mother of
Winston Churchill, dined with two of England’s premier leaders, Benjamin Disraeli
and his rival, William Gladstone, in the same week.
A journalist asked, “Lady
Churchill what was your first impressions of the two men?”
Lady Jenny Jerome Churchill replied:
"When I left the dining room after sitting next to Gladstone, I thought he
was the cleverest man in England. But when I sat next to Disraeli I left
feeling that I was the cleverest woman."
Benjamin Disraeli on meeting the beautiful, Lady Jenny Churchill,
wanted to know all about her. He asked her questions and listened intently to
her replies. Disraeli wanted to connect with her and find common ground. Benjamin
Disraeli said, “The greatest good you can do for
another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.”
William Gladstone, on the other hand, talked about how brilliant
and important he was to Lady Jenny Churchill. He was not interested in
connecting with anyone else.
Which leader would you rather sit next to at dinner
Disraeli or Gladstone?
The
greatest connectors find common ground and lift others higher just like Prime
Minister Benjamin Disraeli did for Winston Churchill’s mother Lady Jenny Jerome
Churchill.
Michael
Deaver was deputy chief of staff for Ronald Reagan for 30 years. Deaver said,
“Ronald Reagan was one of the shyest men I’d ever met.” Deaver was asked, “Why
Reagan had such rapport with the press corps?” he replied, “Well, Reagan
basically liked people, whether they were part of the press corps or whether
they were just ordinary people. That comes through.” It was said that President
Reagan cared about people and it did not matter whether they were a gardener, a
secretary, or someone on his team. He treated them the same. Reagan “enjoyed
being with people” and connected with them.
Deaver
said, “Everyone liked being around Ronald Reagan because he loved people and
connected with them. He understood that relationships were the glue that held
his team members together- the more solid the relationship, the more cohesive
his team.”
Dan Quiggle said, “Ronald Reagan spoke plainly and genuinely to
the American people—from his heart and with genuine sincerity about what he
believed was best for America and for the world.”
Benjamin
Disraeli and Ronald Reagan understood about the importance of connecting with
others. They cared about others, valued them, and wanted to know about them.
They asked questions and listened attentively; wanting to find out answers and find common ground with the people they connected to. Connecting is important at all levels of your
life; with family members, friends, with other employees at work, or at school.
After
two weeks of torrential rain and wind my family and I noticed cracks in the
ceilings and several damp spots. When the rain finally stopped we called a
friend and got a recommendation on a roofer he liked and trusted. We called the
roofer and arranged an appointment in his busy schedule to show him the ceiling
damage in the house to have our roof repaired.
My husband and I met the Roofer shook
hands with him and showed him the ceiling damage in the house. He then asked us
the following questions:
1 1)
How
old is this roof?
2) How
often have you had it checked and repaired?
3)
Do
you have extra shingles?
We answered the Roofer’s questions. He then
went up his ladder on the roof and photographed, with his phone, pictures of
what needed to be repaired. He then showed the pictures to us and explained
what needed to be done.
The Roofer said, “Your roof is in pretty
good shape considering how so many other roofs have faired in this wet stormy
weather. We will need to replace all the tiles missing in the pictures and
caulk around a few areas on the roof and repair a gable.” He called us a few
days later, to tell us how much it would cost. His price seemed reasonable and we
agreed to it. He told us what day he would repair it and we left the shingles
outside for him to do the repairs.
The Roofer called us after he completed the
roof and said, “It will be raining Tuesday or Wednesday. Let me know if we have
gotten all the leaks.” This Roofer understood how to connect with others and
did the work as promised.
On
February 20, 2015, five hundred of us trained with Dr. John Maxwell to be
certified to join his John Maxwell Team. One of the most important rules he
taught us was his “The 30 Second Rule”. “Within 30 seconds of meeting someone
give them the “Triple A Treatment” – your attention, affirmation, and
appreciation”.
Two of
my favorite books of Dr. Maxwell are “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect” and “Relationships
101” .
So what are the three things you can do today to
connect with others?
1) Connecting
begins when you take an interest in others by asking them questions just like
Benjamin Disraeli, Ronald Reagan, and the Roofer did.
2)
Listening carefully to their responses, shows that you care and want to know
all about them, and how you can help them.
3) As
you connect with others you are finding common ground and building a
relationship. Look for the best in
others by saying positive things to them and lifting others up.
Zig
Ziglar says, “Strong people don’t put other people down….they lift them up.”
“People don’t care how much you know until
they know how much you care.” This famous quote has been attributed to Teddy
Roosevelt, Zig Ziglar and Dr. John Maxwell.
So
begin today connecting with others just like President Reagan, Prime Minister
Benjamin Disraeli, and the Roofer. (C) 2015 Madeline Frank
Madeline
Frank, Ph.D., DTM is an Amazon.com Best Selling Author, John Maxwell Team
Member, sought after speaker, business owner, motivational teacher, researcher,
and concert artist. She helps businesses and organizations "Tune Up their
Businesses". Her innovative observations show you the blue prints
necessary to improve and keep your business successful. She writes a monthly
newsletter "Madeline's Monthly article & Musical Tips Blog" and a
monthly radio show "Madeline's One Minute Musical Radio Show". She
has just published her new book "Leadership On A Shoestring Budget”
available on Amazon or Kindle. Contact Madeline Frank for your next speaking
engagement at mfrankviola@gmail.com