Do you like to look people in the eye, eye ball to eye ball, to judge their honesty, integrity and commitment? Could looking eye ball to eye ball keep you alive? I have always felt that the eyes are "the windows of the soul!'
When I was living in New York City and attending the Juilliard School I went home one day at around 4pm in the afternoon. It was a beautiful day. I arrived at my 74th street walk up apartment building with my viola on my shoulder in its case, my purse slung over my right shoulder, and my apricot cookies hanging out of the back pocket of my jeans.
I opened the 1st door to the small apartment building into a tiny alcove about the size of 1 person and started to take my key out to open the next locked door when suddenly a nice looking well dressed man over 6 feet tall in designer jeans, shirt, and boots came up behind me.
At first I thought he lived in the building, but the next second he pulled out a machete and held it to my neck. It was a very tight squeeze in this space.
I was thinking to myself as I continued to look him in the eyes. Am I strong enough to get the knife away from him without cutting myself?
I decided he looked stronger then I was and if I cut my hands I would not be able to play ever again.
He said, "Give me the keys to your building?"
I said "No" and continued to look him in the eyes and said, "are you hungry?
Would you like an apricot cookie? I have them with me."
He continued to hold the knife to my neck and I continued to look him in the eye. He said "No" and then said "give me your wallet!"
I said, "Can you leave me some of the money in my wallet?" I had around twenty dollars in bills in the wallet.
He continued to hold the knife at my neck and said "Don't move. I'm going to leave in a minute and do not turn around." He grabbed my wallet and left the tiny alcove dropping my wallet to the ground. I pulled out my keys, grabbed the wallet on the floor, opened the door, shut it and ran up the stair case to the fourth floor.
I unlocked the door to my apartment and my roommate was standing there. I said "Do we have any wine or beer?"
She said, "You are under age and cannot drink!"
I said, "I've just been mugged and I need a drink! "
She said "we have cooking sherry and you need to call the police."
She poured the cooking sherry and we called the police.
The next day I went to the Police Station and went through thousands of mug shots and identified my well dressed mugger, but each address listed was false.
A few months later I moved to a building that had a smiling doorman and a well lit inviting lobby. I was always happy to come home from school into the cheerful lobby and smiling door man.
After this experience I became more alert to my surroundings. If I came home after playing a concert and it was late at night and I could not get a taxi I would walk home singing opera music. If anyone approached I would sing a little louder as most people do not want to mug a crazy person who sings Opera. They think you might be unstable!
When I look in the eyes of my co-workers, family members and friends I always look to see if they will continue to look me in the eye when they speak to me. I am always searching for the truth! When the person will not continue to look you in the eyes and suddenly looks away "I know something is up and they are hiding something."
In looking at my mugger Eye Ball to Eye Ball I know I saved my own life.
My motto is look at the person you are speaking to Eye ball to Eye Ball!
When I want to know if my children are telling me the truth I look them in the eye "Eyeball to Eye Ball" to judge their honesty and integrity about a given situation.
What are the three things you can do to keep from getting mugged while walking or going into a building?
1) Project confidence as you walk. Do not listen to your Ipod or talk on the phone when walking as you will be unaware of your surroundings. You need to observe and be aware of your surroundings. Always walk in well lit areas and do not wear expensive jewelry that a mugger can rip off of you such as a necklace, bracelet, watch or ring. Do not flaunt your wealth.
2) Guys put your wallet in your inside pocket. Gals make sure your purse strap is short and close to you or else a mugger can cut your purse strap and run with it. They can also cut the bottom of the purse and remove the contents that way. I have had this happen to me.
3) If someone gets in front of your face look them straight in the eye. Do not back down. Most people will not be willing to look you in the eye and hold the contact.
The next time you want to know if something is true or false about a given situation look the person in the eye "Eye Ball to Eye Ball" and find out if they are telling the truth or not.
Madeline Frank, Ph.D. is a speaker, bestselling author, business owner, and award winning teacher. She is an expert on helping businesses and organizations create a world class culture of customer service, leadership and motivation. Many companies and organizations have discovered the magic of Madeline's "Tuning Up Your Business" programs. Many companies and organizations have discovered better communication, reduction of workplace stress, and enhanced customer loyalty as a result of her programs.
To contact Madeline to speak to your organization go to mfrankviola@gmail.com
Madeline's web site: http://www.madelinefrank.com
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